View Full Version : Patrick Norton Facts
sock-
10-01-2007, 05:25 AM
I've been editing these into his wiki page, but the wiki police keep shootin' me down;
Patrick Norton has defeated Moore's Law, using only a rotary tool, a Commodore 64, and his own intuition.
The Dakar rally has denied Patrick Norton's applications to compete, citing if someone won the rally in two days, it would defeat the purpose.
Patrick Norton has already won the Google Lunar X-Prize. His craft was comprised of a kilt, and a Cisco Systems shirt. Upon informing Google of his feat, he was denied the prize because Patrick had forgotten the contest was to send a rover to the moon, not a human.
Your turn.
spiri
10-01-2007, 08:00 AM
You should make a site for it :D
conedude13
10-01-2007, 08:50 PM
Patrick's tears can cure cancer, he just never cries.
Any other Chuck references where you can replace Chuck with Patrick?
rvissers
10-02-2007, 04:13 AM
Mr. Norton can fix global warming with a soldering iron, a role of duct tape, a PocketRef & a sledge hammer.
scienceking
10-02-2007, 04:22 AM
Patrick Norton can make minor circuit alterations by heating solder joints with just his body heat. Mr. Norton's brain is a Bluetooth HID, allowing him to type on his Macbook Pro by thought alone.
patrick packs all his gadgetz in the pocketz of his utilikilt except for his sledgehammer, which he keeps in one free hand.
geeksunny
10-05-2007, 08:41 PM
Any other Chuck references where you can replace Chuck with Patrick?
Might as well be all of them because Patrick is more manly than Mr. Norris could even dream of being.
mrpopular
10-05-2007, 08:58 PM
MacGyver learned everything he knows from Patrick Norton
blazes816
10-05-2007, 09:52 PM
Patrick Norton made Dave Randolf. Out of ductape and ductape alone.
kevinsand
10-11-2007, 06:47 AM
Chuck Norris, oops I mean Patrick Norton, doesn't fix electronics. He stares them down until they repair themselves!
http://card.mygamercard.net/lastgame/Kevinsand.png (http://profile.mygamercard.net/Kevinsand)
mpulse
10-18-2007, 03:35 PM
Patrick Norton kept me from getting ripped by the riptide.
True story.
mrugly
10-18-2007, 11:21 PM
Error messages minimize themselves in fear of angering Patrick Norton.
nextgenxbox
10-18-2007, 11:44 PM
You should make a site for it :D
Definitely.
Patrick ... the new Chuck Norris!
tokenuser
10-19-2007, 01:25 AM
Norton 2.0 ... and you thought Pat was tough.
mpulse
10-19-2007, 01:25 PM
When you're applying for a job and they ask about your certifications, don't put down your CCNA or MSCE. Just put down Patrick Norton.
Patrick Norton = uber-certified in everything
xfuuey
10-19-2007, 03:45 PM
wow...someone isn't obsessed with Patrick :eek:
methos101
10-28-2007, 06:56 AM
Patrick was spotted on google maps where you can see his shiny example of his bald spot. The glorious use of google maps to catch patrick norton jay walking and his bald spot.
popltree2
10-29-2007, 07:07 AM
Patrick's laptop battery charges itself using the power of sheer awe.
methos101
10-29-2007, 08:17 AM
Patrick's laptop battery charges itself using the power of sheer awe.
Ha ha ha ha that is funny. Sheer awe lol.
jakezt
10-30-2007, 12:41 AM
iPatrick .....
jasonb
10-30-2007, 01:02 AM
This is my first shot at these so please forgive if they suck.
Patrick Norton doesn't overclock systems; system's overclock themselves in fear of Patrick Norton.
Patrick's daught doesnt cry at night, she weilds a sledgehammer.
Patrick doesn't read forums. He logs in and they read themselves to him.
Patrick Norton doesnt have a bald spot, he has a WiFi access point.
"Chuck" is based on the experiences of Patrick Norton.
methos101
10-30-2007, 02:34 AM
Patrick norton is the best thing since sliced bread. LOL ha ha ha ha.
beej452
11-08-2007, 04:37 AM
Any other Chuck references where you can replace Chuck with Patrick?[/QUOTE]
Oh no! Don't get this started in Barrens Chat! :D We may never survive.:cool:
Patrick Norton makes the 79 Sportster a must have bike.
drandolph
11-08-2007, 06:05 AM
Patrick Norton made Dave Randolf. Out of ductape and ductape alone.
Patrick Norton made me with just the power of his mind, no Duct Tape needed.
There is a few down sides though.
1. When Patrick sleeps i cease to exist.
2. When Patrick dies, so must I.
3. Every time Patrick blinks I disappear for a fraction of a second.
4. If he sneezes, my head explodes. (Not so bad, he remakes me right afterwards.)
rumblestrip
11-08-2007, 05:41 PM
Patrick Norton is banned from Dallas Texas because they can't afford the Dr. Pepper plant to go on overtime when he's in town.
brundlefly
11-11-2007, 02:46 PM
Patrick Norton is the first true perpetual motion device. If you stuck an anode up his arse and used his bold head as a cathode, you could power every device on earth for infinity. We can call him the Norton Ion battery.
That said, 'ole David ain't so bad either. If Systm had two more hosts, you couldn't cross them, or you'd summon Gozer in the form of the Sta-puft Marshmallow Man.
Patrick Norton overclocked his wife, setting a new standard in spouse benchmarks.
Patrick Norton pees solder and shits wifi.
Patrick Norton uses a sledgehammer instead of a fork when he eats.
Patrick Norton invented the kilt. The Scots are only imitating perfection.