Elephants in Heat! - General Discussion for the week of 11/14/07

[paper]

I was trying to think of an exciting thread title to reflect my new and dangerous personality.

*****

Where did the elephant seek treatment for his acne?

The Pachydermatologist's office.

[kahunablair]

Oh this thread title is just begging to have that ol' Elephant picture posted....

[itsbecca]

I was trying to think of an exciting thread title to reflect my new and dangerous personality.

*****

Where did the elephant seek treatment for his acne?

The Pachydermatologist's office.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hid in jelly bean jars.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a jelly bean jar?

Must work hm?

[paper]

That's the kind of philosophy I like. The other stuff is just horse hockey.

[kahunablair]

Q: How do you know if you pass an elephant?
A: You can't get the toilet seat down.

Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
A: Walk him and pitch to the giraffe!

[kahunablair]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyH-3ruD0ik
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyH-3ruD0ik

[horatio616]

I was trying to think of an exciting thread title to reflect my new and dangerous personality.

*****

Where did the elephant seek treatment for his acne?

The Pachydermatologist's office.

That reminds me of that Michael Jackson joke:

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

Acne... nah, that's way too dirty for me to finish...

[horatio616]

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?

A: Eliphino.

There's no way we can keep this going for a week.

[esophagus]

Q: What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A: Because if it was small, white and hard it would be an aspirin.
Q: Why are golf balls small and white?
A: Because if they were big and grey they would be elephants.

[gungadin]

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: Sure it's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

... I don't think I shoulda posted that...

[iSteve]

Somebody had to post this:

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/a/a3/Elephant_Sex.jpg

[six-gun]

Way to start my Wednesday Steve ;)

[iSteve]

De nada, Six Gun.

[ghostevo]

Way too much time on the internet iSteve. :D

[fred]

http://www.instigatorblog.com/images/elephant_butt.jpg

[kahunablair]

http://img26.picoodle.com/img/img26/5/11/14/f_ELEPHANTm_2756f92.png

[six-gun]

Great Kahuna, great

[kahunablair]

Great Kahuna, great

That's ol' school, man.
I did that way back when I started posting. I think I was only up to like 20 posts at that point.
I can't even tell you who he's pointing at exactly, but I remember that it was watching someone surf the web.

[six-gun]

That's ol' school, man.
I did that way back when I started posting. I think I was only up to like 20 posts at that point.

really, I forgot about that :)

[fred]

I have a migraine today and it's making me very unhappy.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u116/fredhosley/migraine.gif

[esophagus]

Steve, I'm guessing you've never actually witnesed that. If you have, I'm sure you'll understand why I find it ten times funnier.

[six-gun]

I have a migraine today and it's making me very unhappy.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u116/fredhosley/migraine.gif

believe it or not, that's what Steve McNiven tried to turn in for the cover to Civil War #7

[fred]

Greg Land actually would.

Try to trace that.

[esophagus]

Greg Land actually would.

Try to trace that.Greg Land isn't real. Just a photo-reference of Rob Liefield.

[gungadin]

Greg Land isn't real. Just a photo-reference of Rob Liefield.

I was looking at a book recently and I didn't like the art because I realized (after much thought) that he reminded me of Liefeld...

I don't remember what it was though... *Goes to check stack of recent comics*

Oh! I remember! It was Messiah Complex. The sketchiness of Silvestri reminded me of a cross between Liefeld and Finch...

[labor_days]

Paper had many things to say about Messiah Complex's art last week. None a kind word.

The man told no lie from what I gathered of the art.

/yuck

[luthor]

Just found this and thought y'all would dig it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG083AFDc1Q

Link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG083AFDc1Q)

[kahunablair]

Just found this and thought y'all would dig it.

Luthor, thank you so much. That was awesome!
I had no clue he was finishing it.

You sir, just made my night!

[luthor]

Vista is Satan's spawn. I ran Update and have spent the better part of the last two hours trying to figure out why my Keyboard and mouse weren't working. Turns out the last update disabled all my USB connections for no apparent reason. That Macbook Pro is looking nicer and nicer every day.

[fred]

I will never run Vista. **** crippleware!

[labor_days]

Yeah, that's complete shit Luthor. Get that Mac and you won't regret it.

[mikegraham6]

my friend has a mac powerbook and i was trying to use it the other day and my brain almost exploded. im so use PCs

[labor_days]

Macs are so intuitive I think you get over that very quickly.

[mikegraham6]

Macs are so intuitive I think you get over that very quickly.

i only really used it for a minute, but i got frustrated and handed it back to her and told her what i wanted to do

[euchre0]

i only really used it for a minute, but i got frustrated and handed it back to her and told her what i wanted to do

My mother in law wants me to advise her on a new computer and I think a mac is the way to go, but she's never used one...Your experience is what i fear from her. But really, if you are just using it for email and internet browsing like she would, i think everything is easy to navigate.

[mikegraham6]

well in all honesty, i just got frustrated with it because basic things were different and i didn't understand them right away. Im sure if she isn't familiar with computers to begin with, the mac is probably the way to go

[kahunablair]

I don't know how many of you guys will enjoy this but I figured I'd just post it anyway.
There is a Theoretical Physicist that isn't actually affiliated with any school, and actually spends his Summers being a beach bum and his winters on the slope.
Anyway he has come up with a Theory that has the potential to rewrite everything we know about how the Universe operates.
Einstein's theories of how the Universe works, covered a great deal of the inner workings of why everything "is". Over the years, every scientist has used his theory as a basis for how everything works.
Oddly enough, Einstein's work wasn't complete. It left out huge bits of information that couldn't be explained or tested in reality. Yet it was the best idea we've had so far, so we've used it.
Well this gentleman just came up with a theory that is a not only a bit more encompassing, but it is also Testable.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/11/14/scisurf114.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox

[mikegraham6]

that sounds interesting, but unfortunately, extremely over my head

[kahunablair]

This could be one of the biggest discoveries of all time.

This is like a room full of people that are discussing how everything works and they are basing everything on the fact that the world is flat. Everything from map making, to how gravity works, to how we are in relation to the rest of the cosmos.
All of a sudden a guy walks in from off the street, and mildly says, "I think the world's not flat, it's round. Oh, and I can possibly prove it."

that sounds interesting, but unfortunately, extremely over my head

If you're really interested, check this link out...
http://science.howstuffworks.com/relativity.htm
It's an extremely basic outlook of how we currently view space and time, and it's relativeness to each other.

[k33k3r]

But the world is flat..... That's craziness but very interesting and could change everything we know about physics. Or at least a good bit of it.

[esophagus]

I don't know how many of you guys will enjoy this but I figured I'd just post it anyway.
There is a Theoretical Physicist that isn't actually affiliated with any school, and actually spends his Summers being a beach bum and his winters on the slope.
Anyway he has come up with a Theory that has the potential to rewrite everything we know about how the Universe operates.
Einstein's theories of how the Universe works, covered a great deal of the inner workings of why everything "is". Over the years, every scientist has used his theory as a basis for how everything works.
Oddly enough, Einstein's work wasn't complete. It left out huge bits of information that couldn't be explained or tested in reality. Yet it was the best idea we've had so far, so we've used it.
Well this gentleman just came up with a theory that is a not only a bit more encompassing, but it is also Testable.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2007/11/14/scisurf114.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedboxThats amazing. I was watching a Discovery show about "the real superhumans" the other day, and this reminded me of it. One guy could come up with an algorithm for anything given to him within seconds. Including one for how to figure out which dats in previous and future years fell on a certain day of the week, factoring in leapyears. Useful? Not really. But scientists and mathematicians have been saying for years that it was impossible. He did it in like 30 seconds. Sometimes people get so cut up with the big picture, they forget the trivialties that are key in solving stuff like this.

[conorkilpatrick]

Barry Bonds indicted on perjury, obstruction charges

Associated Press

Updated: November 15, 2007, 5:27 PM ET

SAN FRANCISCO -- Baseball superstar Barry Bonds was charged Thursday with perjury and obstruction of justice for allegedly lying when he said he did not use performance-enhancing drugs.

The indictment, unsealed Thursday by federal prosecutors in San Francisco, is the culmination of a four-year federal probe into whether he lied under oath to a grand jury investigating steroid use by elite athletes.

The indictment comes three months after the 43-year-old Bonds, one of the biggest names in professional sports, passed Hank Aaron to become baseball's career home run leader, his sport's most hallowed record. Bonds, who parted ways with the San Francisco Giants at the end of last season and has yet to sign with another team, also holds the game's single-season home run record of 73.

While Bonds was chasing Aaron amid the adulation of San Franciscans and the scorn of baseball fans almost everywhere else, due to his notoriously prickly personality and nagging steroid allegations, a grand jury quietly worked behind closed doors to put the finishing touches on the long-rumored indictment.

"I'm surprised," said John Burris, one of Bonds' attorneys, "but there's been an effort to get Barry for a long time. "I'm curious what evidence they have now they didn't have before."

The indictment charges Bonds with lying when he said that he didn't knowingly take steroids given to him by his personal trainer Greg Anderson. He also denied taking steroids at anytime in 2001 when he was pursuing the single season home-run record.

"During the criminal investigation, evidence was obtained including positive tests for the presence of anabolic steroids and other performance enhancing substances for Bonds and other athletes," the indictment reads.

He is also charged with lying that Anderson never injected him with steroids.

"Greg wouldn't do that," Bonds testified in December 2003 when asked if Anderson ever gave him any drugs that needed to be injected. "He knows I'm against that stuff."

Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press

[kahunablair]

Holy Crap!

[fred]

that makes me smile

[six-gun]

for some reason Conor posting that link reminded me of the whole Paris Hilton thing this summer

[esophagus]

So today (yesterday) made it five months of me posting at iFanboy. Don't think I've ever hung it out on a forum that long. Sweet deal.


Yes. It was marked on my calendar. It's official guys, this is a long-term relationship.
Psst. It's not on my calendar, I just happened to check my profile. And we're not dating. =o

[paper]

My life.....is directionless.

[luthor]

What day do the Black Friday ads usually come out?

[paper]

So, I'm looking at MFA programs. I want to challenge myself, because I know that if I don't have deadlines I'll end up a cubicle jockey for life. It's fine for right now, but the fluorescent lights are slowly zapping at my soul. So, an MFA in creative writing.

I don't want to go too, too far. I'm terrified of wide expanses of flat land and coyotes, and I already know some people in New York, so I'm focusing on New School University (http://www.writing.newschool.edu/). Fiction. Nonfiction. Writing for kids? I won't have graduated from Drexel by the application deadline for Fall 2008. So, we're looking at 2009. Which gives me the year to build a well-rounded portfolio and, ya know, make some money. Which gels with my plan to submit work for publication in journals and magazines this year.

Thoughts? Concerns? Ideas?

[conorkilpatrick]

Thoughts? Concerns? Ideas?

New York City has a burdgeoning coyote problem. (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/03/0323_060323_coyote.html)

[fred]

So, I'm looking at MFA programs. I want to challenge myself, because I know that if I don't have deadlines I'll end up a cubicle jockey for life. It's fine for right now, but the fluorescent lights are slowly zapping at my soul. So, an MFA in creative writing.

I don't want to go too, too far. I'm terrified of wide expanses of flat land and coyotes, and I already know some people in New York, so I'm focusing on New School University (http://www.writing.newschool.edu/). Fiction. Nonfiction. Writing for kids? I won't have graduated from Drexel by the application deadline for Fall 2008. So, we're looking at 2009. Which gives me the year to build a well-rounded portfolio and, ya know, make some money. Which gels with my plan to submit work for publication in journals and magazines this year.

Thoughts? Concerns? Ideas?

good luck dude. you're going to make it.

[paper]

New York City has a burdgeoning coyote problem. (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/03/0323_060323_coyote.html)

You're never gonna get that job on the NY Tourist Commission!

good luck dude. you're going to make it.

I'm gonna try anyway. Thanks, man.

I figure the hiatus from school will give me time to get my act together job and location-wise. Something to work towards.

[mister-s]

Go for it Paper. I too am going back to college. After a few years in the "real" world I'm really scared - but I know that it is the right thing to do.

[horatio616]

I figure the hiatus from school will give me time to get my act together job and location-wise. Something to work towards.

Hey have you ever used any of these online writers' communities?

I was looking into a place called authornation.com just to have somewhere to get feedback on my writing and to network. Wondering if you've had any experience.

[six-gun]

New York City has a burdgeoning coyote problem. (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/03/0323_060323_coyote.html)

Six Guns Coyote Extermination Advice.

Method One (only works if there's a leash law and not dogs roaming free in your area)- Buy a box of KFC and a syringe and inject antifreeze into the chicken, place the chicken in areas frequented by the Coyote's and they'll be gone within a week.

Method Two- Acquire the fry-grease from a fast food restaurant and dip a (toy) stuffed rabbit in it. Affix a string to the rabbit and set it up in a clearing at night. Wait nearby with your rifle/shotgun and spotlight and shake the toy rabbit intermittently, when you hear the coyote come to investigate, hit it with the spotlight then blast him. If you have garbage bags for the bodies you can continue the process ad naseum until morning.

[labor_days]

Good luck, Paper!

[labor_days]

I am a city dweller through and through. The idea of having to chase off "varmints" is utterly frightening to me in a way that the lightbulb terrifies the Amish schoolmarm.

[esophagus]

So, I'm looking at MFA programs. I want to challenge myself, because I know that if I don't have deadlines I'll end up a cubicle jockey for life. It's fine for right now, but the fluorescent lights are slowly zapping at my soul. So, an MFA in creative writing.

I don't want to go too, too far. I'm terrified of wide expanses of flat land and coyotes, and I already know some people in New York, so I'm focusing on New School University (http://www.writing.newschool.edu/). Fiction. Nonfiction. Writing for kids? I won't have graduated from Drexel by the application deadline for Fall 2008. So, we're looking at 2009. Which gives me the year to build a well-rounded portfolio and, ya know, make some money. Which gels with my plan to submit work for publication in journals and magazines this year.

Thoughts? Concerns? Ideas?Good luck! College applications are scary, although I'm sure it's a bit easier when you've already went through it once before. Also US colleges are priced ridiculously higher than Canadian ones. This is a sad realization, that may stomp on my dreams of moving to the States next year.

[kahunablair]

Thoughts? Concerns? Ideas?
Thoughts:
Go for it! That's awesome, man.
Parsons is part of the New School right? That's a pretty nice place, so if the other "parts" are just as good, you're making a good choice.

My only concern is:
Be careful with the whole "Making money in the mean time" thing. That is a trap I know a lot of people (including yours truly) have fallen into.

My idea is:
Capture a few Coyotes, string them together and hook them up to a rickshaw. That way you'll have tamed the beasts, and given yourself transportation.

[kahunablair]

http://www.blogsmithmedia.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2007/11/laser-avenger.jpg

Boeing Laser Avenger: Humvee with frikkin' laser on its head
Boeing wants more government contracts, and it thinks lasers are the way to get them. The company's Laser Avenger system is something it whipped together in eight short months, and it's pretty impressive. Mounted on a retrofitted anti-aircraft Humvee, the setup is being demonstrated as a way to zap IEDs from a distance, neutralizing them before the convoys and patrols they target ever rumble by. Its 1kw laser beam causes near-instantaneous detonation of the munitions its been used on so far, and Boeing's also hinting that it might just work as an anti-aircraft weapon, too. Trucks with laser guns might be a lot closer than you think.

http://www.autoblog.com/2007/11/16/boeing-laser-avenger-humvee-with-frikkin-laser-on-its-head/

[cam-]

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?

A: Eliphino.

There's no way we can keep this going for a week.

Actually?

Dead Rhinos (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/80375/elephant_aggression_on_humans_and_rhinos.html)

[luthor]

Elephants are evil. Sure they look cute but they are secretly plotting to kill us all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxCdECNUSIc

LINK (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxCdECNUSIc)

[six-gun]

Six Guns Coyote Extermination Advice.

Method One (only works if there's a leash law and not dogs roaming free in your area)- Buy a box of KFC and a syringe and inject antifreeze into the chicken, place the chicken in areas frequented by the Coyote's and they'll be gone within a week.

Method Two- Acquire the fry-grease from a fast food restaurant and dip a (toy) stuffed rabbit in it. Affix a string to the rabbit and set it up in a clearing at night. Wait nearby with your rifle/shotgun and spotlight and shake the toy rabbit intermittently, when you hear the coyote come to investigate, hit it with the spotlight then blast him. If you have garbage bags for the bodies you can continue the process ad naseum until morning.

also, don't do this in like a neighborhood round about, not a great idea

[alexg]

Thoughts? Concerns? Ideas?

I know a lot of people who've gone to the New School and have had mixed experiences. I think the general quality level there is pretty damn good, but I'd strongly reccommend sitting in on some classes there to make sure you like the whole vibe.

And in case you are thinking of a completely different angle, one of the most popular MBA concentrations at Stern/NYU business school is "Entertainment Business". Lots of frustrated creative types go and get an MBA then head out to hollywood with mad power dreams...

I know you probably don't want to hear it, but USC might be worth looking into..I've heard of people in that program who have gotten book deals before graduating thanks to the incredibly well connected professors there.

btw--your podcast kicks azz...I'd think almost any school is going to admit you if you include a highlight reel in your application. That includes Columbia and NYU

[iSteve]

Rhinos? Did someone say rhinos in heat?

http://www.rhinos-irf.org/images/irfprograms/asiaprograms/sumatranrhinobreedingcenters/waykambassrs/feb02_srs_mating.jpg

[fred]

bored at work today. found a program to change the message that pops up on the network printer lcd. right now it says: "when you're not around he ****s me"

[alexg]

bored at work today. found a program to change the message that pops up on the network printer lcd. right now it says: "when you're not around he ****s me"

That's friggin awesome...

I wish mine just said "PC Load Letter...*****es"

[fred]

earlier an associate and I changed it to say "White toner low" which prompted the receptionist to order more toner.

think about that for a second

now I've changed it to read "white toner is a tool of the man"

[paper]

Thanks so much for the feedback, guys. It's a long way off, but there's A LOT to be done in the mean time.

I know a lot of people who've gone to the New School and have had mixed experiences. I think the general quality level there is pretty damn good, but I'd strongly reccommend sitting in on some classes there to make sure you like the whole vibe.

I definitely will. A friend of mine knows a teacher there, and I'm going to try and get some application advice.


btw--your podcast kicks azz...I'd think almost any school is going to admit you if you include a highlight reel in your application. That includes Columbia and NYU

I'm glad you like the show, Alex. New one's coming out this weekend.

That's pretty high praise, man. I think if I wanted to do that I'd have to kick it up a few dozen notches.

[six-gun]

new FT this weekend?

score

[six-gun]

I'm home sick from Church. I think I have a cold which is bad in and of itself, but my nose of so dry that I get a nosebleed whenever I sneeze. :(

[esophagus]

Today was the longest day of work ever. Not to mention I'm sick sick sick. Very sore throat, and a dry nose. Dry bleeding nose. I think what Six has is contagious.

[luthor]

For the last few weeks I've had a really weird twitch in my left eye. It's not particularly painful but it's really annoying. So I decided to look it up and see if it was symptomatic of anything. Much to my surprise, almost every place says the same thing...a reaction to Caffeine. I don't usually drink pop but lately I've been having a can of Pepsi or so a day so that diagnosis works. So as of this second...no more Caffeine.

[kahunablair]

That eye twitch can be more then just Caffeine, Luthor.
It's also a BIG warning sign of being over stressed.

I actually saw a doctor a few months back because my eye was twitching way to much. I had high blood pressure and my doctor started to ask me if I was under to much stress. Of course I was, and did everything in my power over the following weeks to fix it. Lo and behold I removed myself from the over stressful situations, and the twitch has gone away.

I'd suggest you'd think about seeing someone.

[luthor]

I'll take your advice, KB. Thanks.

[esophagus]

I gave up on caffeine two years ago. It's great. Caffeine-free tea, and certain organic sodas, go a long way.

[conorkilpatrick]

Is Superman stressing you out, Luthor?

[kahunablair]

I'll take your advice, KB. Thanks.

No problem, man.
Definitely quit the caffeine, but also think about seeing a doctor, just to make sure.

[esophagus]

I just woke up from a 15 hour sleep. Stayed home from school sick. A page and a half of new posts while I was sleeping guys? Geeze.

[luthor]

Is Superman stressing you out, Luthor?

Kryptonite is running low these days...


Is anyone heading out for Black Friday sales? What's everyone looking to get?


I'm hearing rumours of a $300 dual-core lappy at a few places. If I can grab one of those...I'm there.

[kahunablair]

Is anyone heading out for Black Friday sales? What's everyone looking to get?

I'm hearing rumours of a $300 dual-core lappy at a few places. If I can grab one of those...I'm there.
I thought about heading out and picking one of those up myself. Then I smacked myself and realized what I was just thinking.
I try to resist the Siren call that is Black Friday at all costs.

[six-gun]

Just noticed the new iFanboy banner, it is spectacular!
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a161/Sn4ke22/socool.jpg

[kahunablair]

Just noticed the new iFanboy banner, it is spectacular!


Now that is a banner!

[jaflanagan]

Yeah, I know the photographer, and she's something special.

[itsbecca]

Just noticed the new iFanboy banner, it is spectacular!


I just did too. I dig the tagline as well. I've thought that before myself. :(

[kahunablair]

Yeah, I know the photographer, and she's something special.

A Lady photographer? Wow, you should think about asking her out, or maybe even marrying her!
;)

[paper]

The banner is truly dope. Great job, Mrs. Flanagan!

[esophagus]

I was just about to ask. "I've seen all the other banners, where are the iFanboys?". I guess I'm just missing them. Looks snazzy anyways.

[kwok_talk]

Love the news banner! Well done Mrs. Flanagan!

[labor_days]

Wonder how many botched takes it took before Ron finally stopped giggling over Kitty and Colossus having sex in Astonishing to get a decent picture off.

Freakin' Ron! Always with the giggles.

[esophagus]

The next banner should be Ron reading Lost Girls with a word balloon, denouncing "porn comics".

[kahunablair]

What I want to know is how much did BioShock and Kyle XY pay for the product placement.

[six-gun]

Kyle XY is on the CW so I think Ron's charge was just that they'd possibly, maybe think about picking up The OC

[mikegraham6]

a little late to the game, but i also gotta say that is one fine banner....
you guys are looking all professional and shit!;)

Great stuff guys!

[esophagus]

Signed up for grad photos today. They are adding a new option to the regular choices of formal, casual, and cap and gown. They're calling it a "personality shot". Like to horseback ride? Bring in a saddle. Like to snowboard? Dress up in your gear and bring in your board. Like basketball? Wear your uniform. Why is this information of any use to you guys, you ask? I just thought you might like to know I'm in the market for an adult-sized Batman costume.