The Gauntlet

[the-ferg]

It just so happens one of my roommates wanted to watch some crappy movies this weekend, so I guess we're going to have a Gauntlet. So, what's the perfect Gauntlet? Finding good movies is easy, finding the worst takes a little work.

Here's a few I know of/seen:
The Core
Boa vs. Python
Ultraviolet

Clearly I need a few more so... suggestions?

[viscountradu]

my entomologist girlfriend and her colleagues picked out the following for Halloween:

Mosquito Man
They Crawl
Larva

we played our own version of MST3K while we watched. lots of fun.

[proglodyte]

Gymkata - SuperAction so bad it's good!

[jonathanlondon]

Yeah. Josh and Prog get the jist.

Hollywood films are RARELY something you can put in a Gauntlet.

They need to be some SERIOUS pieces of shit.

[the-ferg]

Yeah. Josh and Prog get the jist.

Hollywood films are RARELY something you can put in a Gauntlet.

They need to be some SERIOUS pieces of shit.

Well, the Core and Ultraviolet are just two movies I remember laughing at how stupid they were, not necessarily being bad all around.

HOWEVER, Boa vs. Python is just terrible. Low production, bad acting, and some of the worst cover art I've ever seen. The only reason I watched it in the first place was because I made fun of it every time I went to Blockbuster for a year, where it stayed a new release the whole time.

Anyway, any more movie suggestions? I'm going to a fairly small movie rental store so I need a big list to be safe.

[bravestarr]

the live action, nearly 4 hr, "star" studded 80s version of Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass just came out on DVD. a few years ago 12 of us set out to watch a LP VHS copy (complete with commercials). 2 of us survived.

[thetechguru]

i highly recommend Mr. Jingles to anyone who is having a gauntlet, i was laughing my ass off the entire time i watched that piece of crap. i think it was shot on a handheld camera, it looks like a home video.

[shaolindrunkard]

The ultimate gauntlet flick!!!

"Slipstream" starring starwars very own Mark Hamill:eek: and Bill Paxton or Bill Pullman it really doesnt matter which. Probably the worst acted worst directed most pointless peice of crap ever churned out. It would have been one of the best mst3ks ever.

[superdeformed]

Barn of the Blood Llama
Namesis
Drunken Wu-Tang
and any movie is "Bikini" in the title.

http://badmovies.org/ should help.

[jonathanlondon]

This Gauntlet thread warms my heart. Boa VS Python sounds like the shit. And Slipstream? I'm down.

[toastmstrgeneral]

Boa vs. Python! I can't believe someone else has seen that movie, but I guess someone had to be renting it for it to stay on teh new releases wall. I got one of those unlimited rental deals from blockbuster one month, where for 15 bucks or so you could rent all that you want, as long as you only had 2 out at a time. After that payed for itself with movies I actually wanted to see, we started getting all this crazy shit we could find in the store since it was pretty much a free rental. Boa vs. Python was one of those, and the greatest thing about it was the way the Snakes shifted scale throughout the entire movie. Sometimes they'd be as tall as a building a few stories high, and other times they could fit into the back of a semi......classic.

[xxxthundercatxxx]

For those without a taste for the spicy gauntlet I present the mild variety:

The Guyver
Garbage Pail Kids
Leprechaun in the Hood
Critters 2
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation



Also the scariest movie I saw growing up was probably Fright Night.

[madripper1]

the anaconda movies would be good for a gauntlet

[superdeformed]

For those without a taste for the spicy gauntlet I present the mild variety:

The Guyver
Garbage Pail Kids
Leprechaun in the Hood
Critters 2
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation



Also the scariest movie I saw growing up was probably Fright Night.

How about Leprechaun Back 2 tha Hood?

[the-ferg]

Boa vs. Python! I can't believe someone else has seen that movie, but I guess someone had to be renting it for it to stay on teh new releases wall. I got one of those unlimited rental deals from blockbuster one month, where for 15 bucks or so you could rent all that you want, as long as you only had 2 out at a time. After that payed for itself with movies I actually wanted to see, we started getting all this crazy shit we could find in the store since it was pretty much a free rental. Boa vs. Python was one of those, and the greatest thing about it was the way the Snakes shifted scale throughout the entire movie. Sometimes they'd be as tall as a building a few stories high, and other times they could fit into the back of a semi......classic.

I'm fairly sure no one has ever rented Boa vs. Python seriously thinking it could be good. I wouldn't be surprised if the movie broke even money-wise just through people wanting a laugh.

[tokenuser]

Movies that redefine bad - but are so bad you cna't help watch them to the end.

The Cars That Ate Paris (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071282/)

Low budget, pscho/horror movie made in Australia in 1974. The people in this town basically cause car crashes so that the people of the town can profit from the wrecks of the cars, and their contents. Includes mad doctor at local hospital that gives frontal lobotomy with power drill.

Notable because it was directed by Peter Weir - who went on to make movies such as "Picnic at Hanging Rock" (1975), "Gallipoli" (1981), "The Year of Living Dangerously" (1982), "Witness" (1985), "The Mosquito Coast" (1986), "Dead Poets Society" (1989), "Fearless" (1993), "The Truman Show" (1998), and "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" (2003) ... all of which are excellant (or at least watchable) movies.

Apparently he is making "Pattern Recognition" based on the book by William Gibson next year. That should be good. He is a great director.

[mr_awesome]

Monster A Go-Go (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059464/)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/11/Monster_a_go_go.jpg

A 1965 science-fiction movie. A narrator tells the story (and talks througout the film) of Frank Douglas, an American astronaut who goes missing after his spacecraft parachute-lands on Earth. He apparently turns into a large, disfigured, radioactive monster. A team of scientists and military men try to catch him, and succeed, only to lose him again (the capture and escape are never shown, only referred to by the narrator). At the end, scientists recieve a telegram that states that Frank Douglas is alive and well, and that there was no monster to begin with.

The film is infamous for that "anti-ending," leaving it so open-ended that the story that was just told actually never really happened.

It is directed by Bill Rebane, maker of low-budget horror flicks. Rebane ran out of money while making the film, and Herschell Gordon Lewis stepped in and bought the film. He shot some new scenes and dialogue, and mixed it all together, making it a cinematic hodge-podge that was disjointed with little continuity.

It is most popular today because it was the topic of an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It is also referenced in a later episode of the show:
Mike Nelson: "We survived Monster A Go-Go, we can survive this!"

Like I said, there were extra scenes shot, and these can be easily picked out because they have almost nothing to do with the above-mentioned plot. They're mainly supposed to show that this "monster" is terrorizing innocent civilians, but they don't add anything to the plot (not that you could anyway).

All in all, great Gauntlet material. I suggest it be the ending movie, because it has no ending!

[kramertron]

I present sh*t on top of sh*t: Da Hip Hop Witch (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245943/). The story obviously took 15 minutes to put together and gets about 20 minutes of screen time. The rest is various different rappers telling "encounters" they have had with this hip hop witch, this includes Eminem reading off a cue card, Ja Rule Rubbing his chin and what seems to be a camera controlled by a homeless man. I can honestly say this is the worst thing ever to call itself a movie. Not even funnily bad.

Available in the less than $5 Wal-Mart bin.

[djhyjak]

I challenge thee to view:

1.Hood of the Dead
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449599/
2.Future War
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113135/
3.Family Reunion the Movie
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383357/

http://zombiepirates.chipin.com/zombie-pirates-from-space

[blacksymbiote]

Are Uwe Boll's movies bad enough to go into the Gauntlet? I seem to remember wanting to tear my eyes out during Alone in the Dark... does that qualify?