I swear I'm about to go apeshit on life

[ariastar]

I am so fucking miserable in my job I don't know what to do. I'm in a weird spot though. I don't have the qualifications on paper to get jobs on par with what I do now (it was a stroke of luck to get this job). On paper, my qualifications come down to experience, no certs or degrees. I don't even want to work in tech anymore. I want it to be a hobby and to do something creative. There's this suffocating feeling all around me and I want to hurt myself just to have an excuse to not go in to work tomorrow. The amount of willpower it's taking to not go on a rampage and throw stuff around the house is making my body literally hurt. But I don't know what to do. Without paper qualifications, I feel stuck. I've been trying to suck it up for months, but it's really been getting to me lately. Can anyone offer input?

[berrex]

Then find a job that you're more likely to like, and if/when you land one, quit this one. Don't stick with a job that makes you miserable, even if the pay is good. No job is worth your well-being.

[patch]

Well, I know you've wanted to start up the costume and clothing bussiness haven't you? Do you have the funds to start that up? If only out of your own home? If Cody is in a place where you could go take that risk without seriously risking losing your home and other important things, that could be an option?

[skyz]

I am so fucking miserable in my job I don't know what to do. I'm in a weird spot though. I don't have the qualifications on paper to get jobs on par with what I do now (it was a stroke of luck to get this job). On paper, my qualifications come down to experience, no certs or degrees. I don't even want to work in tech anymore. I want it to be a hobby and to do something creative. There's this suffocating feeling all around me and I want to hurt myself just to have an excuse to not go in to work tomorrow. The amount of willpower it's taking to not go on a rampage and throw stuff around the house is making my body literally hurt. But I don't know what to do. Without paper qualifications, I feel stuck. I've been trying to suck it up for months, but it's really been getting to me lately. Can anyone offer input?

what you want is freedom

the first thing you need to do is figure out how to live as simply as possible because the demands of money and things keep most people on a treadmill for life

the way the system is set up you work work work giving all your energy away for $ and then you spend your dollars for what are usually temporary very temporary pleasures

i live on nothing but i have a nice apartment good food a computer a cell phone music and books and 99% of my time is mine

i get up when i want i sleep when i want and i do what i want

i am happy when the phone doesn't ring

there are billionaires that would envy me

sure i would love to shop more but i have had almost all the things people want and they were extremely pleasant but not happy making

my first and second cars were corvettes i used to go to nyc for the ballet and go to the galas wearing ysl and valentino i flew first class and stayed at five star hotels

you are a very talented resourceful person aria

if you had time to relax and really think deeply about who you really are and what you really want you would be able to figure out what is unique about you and what you can do to monetize your talents

if i do something for money it is because it is something i want to do and also it has to benefit those who consume what i create

i can thank one of the few 'bosses' i ever had who told me 'i am a businessman i am not a creator' imply 'you are a creator and that is better' so i quit my job and went to school

when i became a music major my family threw me out of the apartment they owned stopped paying my car insurance and my father rewrote his will costing me about a million dollars

but i wanted to be something not have things and i do not like being told what to do

read this book it will change your thinking (http://www.livereal.com/spiritual_arena/spiritual_members/master_game.htm)

start a blog about your journey to freedom put up a donate to my education paypal link

make dresses for special occasions for income get into it as an art form

i think you should make costumes for dance

spend a lot of time alone thinking and meditating

and go to school even if it is one course at a time

i will bet you if you put the effort across you can get yourself some sort of scholarship (s) grants

i was exactly where you are i was too smart for a basic job but i did not have the credentials for a big job and besides i did not want a job

now i have the credentials so i have peace of mind in case i ever absolutely have to have a job but i don't want a job

job and work are most definitely not synonymous

i want a career or two or three and what is more i want it on my own terms

and i will get it my way because i don't need it i can be happy being quiet being healthy reading balzac and rimbaud writing lyrics and music and taking life easy

i put effort into my talents and eventually they will make me rich but i am not willing to be richer if it requires being stressed out

knowing what you really want has everything to do with getting what you really want but few people ever grant themselves the right or the time to think about and decide what they really want

it takes audacity and you my dear girl have that :)

i found this on forbes.com the other day

the sound of silence (http://www.forbes.com/ceonetwork/2007/03/22/meditation-management-eswaran-lead-ceo-cx_pm_0322bookreview.html)

There is scant space for silence today. We saturate ourselves in sound. We have largely grown uneasy with the domain of the imagination and the inner life, the silence of our own minds--a place that the poet e.e. cummings described as "the turning edge of life."

[heyseuss]

I am so fucking miserable in my job I don't know what to do. I'm in a weird spot though. I don't have the qualifications on paper to get jobs on par with what I do now (it was a stroke of luck to get this job).

Lightening can strike twice if you're willing to let it. If, not having the paper qualifications didnt' stop you once, why should you let it stop you again? The only thing stopping you is the fear of rolling the dice, which is valid, but you can't win anything without putting a bet down first.

[acidburn]

I am so fucking miserable in my job I don't know what to do. I'm in a weird spot though. I don't have the qualifications on paper to get jobs on par with what I do now (it was a stroke of luck to get this job). On paper, my qualifications come down to experience, no certs or degrees. I don't even want to work in tech anymore. I want it to be a hobby and to do something creative. There's this suffocating feeling all around me and I want to hurt myself just to have an excuse to not go in to work tomorrow. The amount of willpower it's taking to not go on a rampage and throw stuff around the house is making my body literally hurt. But I don't know what to do. Without paper qualifications, I feel stuck. I've been trying to suck it up for months, but it's really been getting to me lately. Can anyone offer input?

There's no reason why you couldn't get another job. But you won't if you don't get out there and start looking. Sounds like you are selling yourself short.

But if you don't want to work in tech anymore you've got to find a way to channel you the frustration you are feeling into positive actions that are going to get you closer to the goal you want, whatever it is.

I can relate to how you are feeling. I'm in a similar spot. I used to work in a more creative field, but left it to find a livable wage. I haven't been happy in a job since. So I just keep trying new fields to see if something fits. I just got a new job, not sure yet how I feel about this one but I'm just trying to keep an open mind.

My suggestion is to find something to do outside of your full-time work that is related to what you want to do and see if there isn't a way to expand it over time into a career. :)