Coping with doggy death

[ariastar]

I have been in the position of losing my own dog, but never in the position of friend to the owner of a dog dying. Max feels very much partly my dog as well with as much time as I've spent with him, taking care of him when Nick's out of state/country, etc.. Emma has known him since she was five weeks and four days old.

Max is five years and four months, and was diagnoses with a very rare (in dogs) cancer, meningioma. It's a cancerous tumor in the meninges, the fluid surrounding the spinal column, and it's pressing into his spinal cord, causing lameness and pain. In the nine known cases, they were closer to or in the brain. For Max, it's at C6 and C7, where the shoulder blades meet the spine, meaning that there will be nerves mixed in.

The options are a delicate, very expensive surgery to remove as much as possible followed by daily radiation to try to kill any remaining ells, which, at absolute best, would give him two or three years. The odds are 50% at best, and it wouldn't be the same playful life. Or trying radiation to slow the growth. Or putting him down. If nothing is done, he's got 30 at the most, and it'll be in pain.

Cody and I were there with Nick when the surgeon came in and delivered the news and showed us the MRI images. He consulted with a meninges specialist in Washington and a cancer specialty center in Colorado. Apparently there are nine other known diagnoses cases, causing the rate to be considered 1 in 10,000 (there will be undiagnosed cases). It's a spontaneous mutation, not genetic, so the puppies will be okay and not at risk just because their father has it.

I've known this dog longer than I've known Cody. Max has stayed with the two of us for a weekend. Max is like a kid to Nick. What's going on reminds Cody of losing his two goldens a few years ago. Nick's girlfriend has come to love Max, and is also very upset.

So, right now, he's on pain medication and prednisone to try to make him comfortable, but he's going to be put down. Even trying surgery would only prolong his suffering. For what? For the sake of us who love him? His comfort is what has to matter.

For a couple days Emma has been whining and whimpering like something's wrong. She knows. It's a small comfort right now having the puppies around.

Needless to say, this is very, very hard for all of us.

Max after playing in the ocean last year:

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o72/theyear2007/March/31%20-%20Muir%20Beach/DSC07362.jpg

[murphy1d]

I feel for you right now. I actually had a tear well-up while reading this. It hit home for me.

I hate to say that you won't really get over it... Something about a pet passing on can tear at your heart worse than a human's passing. And when you have to make the decision it's even worse.

The best thing is knowing that there will never be those "I never got to say I love you" situations. Pets are the few life forces out there that get back the unconditional love they give.

Keep something of theirs and pass it on to the next pet. I gave my new dog Maynard (that's him in the Avatar) the same set of dog tags that I had for my last dog Murphy (hence the login name). I got Murphy when I was 18 and he was 2. I kept him healthy and happy until I was 34. He died of cancer of the heart that overwhelmed him within one week (he started slowing down like old age and then collapsed one day).

I had the choice of 3 more months or 1 more hour. I chose the hour, loved him one last time and never regretted it. snif...

[popltree2]

About the only forms of comfort that can be brought to any of us right now is knowing that Max's legacy will live on in these eight amazing little creatures we have running around the apartment. Sure they poop and pee everywhere and can sometimes just be a general pain in the ass, but we love them unconditionally as I am sure they love us.

There may also be some solace in the knowledge that, though Max is in pain now, he won't be. The most important, and arguably the most difficult, thing to do right now is to look at what is best for Max. It is something that is difficult beyond all comparison and not something that I would wish on my worst enemy. But it is a choice that Nick is faced with right now. The best we can do is provide our advice and make sure Max is comfortable.

When I lost Ginger, one of two "Golden Girls" (Ginger and Leah were sisters), I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. My dad called me and said "I had to put Ginger down." From what I remember, Ginger had a pretty aggressive cancer in her nose that ate away most of the cartilage. She was in an excruciating amount of pain and so I know that my dad wanted to put her out of it as quickly as possible.

My dad put Leah down about 6 months after Ginger. She wasn't keeping food down, was old, and was grief-stricken from losing her sister. She never really did recover after we had put Ginger down.

But they both lived long lives (16 if I remember correctly) and had the chance to live both by the beach and in the snow. They lived complete lives.
My dad buried both of them, side by side, next to a river by where he lives. Most of the area is covered with trees but the spot where they are has a small opening so they can see the moon at night.

It is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with. Even writing this I am breaking down in tears. They are the only members of my immediate family that I have lost and I have heard from more that one person that it is harder to lose an pet, SOMEONE you can easily call your best friend, than just about any person.
As devastated as the four of us are, I can only imagine how Emma is feeling. She is losing the father of her children and her best friend. I think that is a tragedy equal to, if not greater than, the ones we as humans are facing.

If you are reading this and have a pet, grab them and give them a big hug and kiss and tell them that you love them. Never let yourself take advantage of the time you do have with them because the only thing more tragic than losing them is realizing, after it is too late, that you never appreciated them.

[ariastar]

I've lost human friends and a father, and I can say that losing an animal is indeed much harder.

Emma knows something's going on. Cody gave her a biscuit and she whimpered again, walked over to some of he sleeping babies, put it down by them, and licked them, whining softly. She's been like this since yesterday, when Max went in for x-rays. The last time she saw him the tumor was already growing, and dogs have an unexplainable magic ability to sniff out tumors, cancer, detect a seizure coming on, earthquakes, etc.. She and Max have been together nearly her entire life. Tomorrow the puppies will be exactly how old she was (five weeks, four days) when she met Max.

Their babies are huge, one weighing in this morning at seven pounds already, one of the girls, and not even the largest of the litter.

Last time Max was here, the largest girl, who also is the spitting image of him, both in looks and personality, snuggled up under his arm. It's hard to imagine him not being around anymore. With the girl we are keeping, little Luthien, I had envisioned Momma, Daddy, and Daughter playing together as the little one grew up.

It's just lots of hugs and tears and shock for all of us.

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj13/theyear2008/02%20-%20February/19%20-%20Puppies/CIMG0214.jpg

[scoobydiesel]

Wow that was like..wow.. I cant think of the day this might happen to me...

[mikec]

My best friend's Golden went the other day for a biopsy. It doesn't look good for him. This dog, a rescued buddy, went from being trouble to one of the best. I hate threads like this.

[skyz]

the price of love is pain

'all meetings end in partings'

that is why it takes courage to love

as buddha said 'everything is becoming and everything is passing away'

that is the nature of life and that is why it is precious and beautiful

at least you have the puppies

[tokenuser]

It hasn't even been a month yet, and we still miss Suzi. I am away this week, and it has hit my wife particularly hard.

Dogs are amazing companions. They dont judge. They know when you need a friend. They know when you need to be alone. I wish more humans could be as honest as a dog.

Its hard to leet go, but it is best to let it happen with some dignity.

Rest easy Max. Your pack will miss you.

[md2389]

Really don't know what else to say other than sorry for your loss. Speaking as someone thats been raised around, and raised dogs all his life, I know exactly what you're going through. I will say this though: while their lifespan is very short compared to ours, their capacity for love and forgiveness immeasurably outweighs that difference.

[patch]

This was really hard for me to read. The day my dog dies will probably be the day I start drinking, heavily.

[rabidbadger]

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj13/theyear2008/02%20-%20February/19%20-%20Puppies/CIMG0214.jpg[/QUOTE]

Ok, I'm officially in tears. :(

[ariastar]

Nick got another opinion, and it's the same. His mom and brother are on their way in from Canada right now and he's on his way to the airport. Yeah, around here animals are family to the level of warranting an international flight to say good-bye.

Tomorrow Max will be put down, and the puppies will no longer have their daddy. That hits me hard right there because I don't have one. And Emma won't have her Maxie. She is seriously, SERIOUSLY in love with him. See them together and there's no doubt.

And then the effect this is having on us humans...

Max has strong babies. Five weeks and four days and they're jumping all four paws off the ground and can CLIMB STAIRS, the entire set to the first flight. Some can climb back down, a few of the smaller ones tumble. They're eating dry puppy food fine, and some of them are insanely huge, over seven pounds already!! There's a new sense of responsibility with these pups. They're his children and what he will leave behind, aside from a ton of memories. :)

Like when Nick threw Emma out of the boat last summer about 15 yards from shore (I said okay) and Max jumped in to swim along side her back to shore. That was cute.

And last May Emma was so tiny!! Yet he immediately took to her and she was his. And she claimed him too.

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o72/theyear2007/May/15%20-%20Emma%20and%20Max/DSC08165.jpg

[ryudo]

It's wierd I have had pets (cats and dogs) while growing up and personally took it harder when I lost a pet..may sound strange to some...last pet we lost I took so hard as Mitzi was the sweetest most kind animal we ever had ..she even self trained herself in situations like when I went to walk with her she walked at your pace when you stopped she stopped and at night when it was cold we brought her in and my mom always let her back out about 5-6 in the morn when she got ready for work and that is when Mitzi would go to the bathroom and run around or whatever well one day my mom forgot to let her out and I woke up late around 11 am and saw she was still inside and she was dancing with her back paws ..she needed to pee but was holding it in..why she didn't just go...I don't know it was just her natural personality ..rather odd for a dog and she was never abused or trained like this ..I open the door and JUST as she crossed the doorway she let loose...she always expressed her love and was so humble.

When I moved to my apt and my mom moved out to california she took Mitzi where she would have warmer climate and a bigger yard to run around in...well one day she was let outside for just a few minutes my mom went back to let her back in....she just saw a bloody collar..even with a fence ..the coyotes got her that quick.

I still feel sad about it as such a sweet animal die so violently and it's 5 years later.

My cat Athena which I rescued when she was two weeks old from a violent messed up teen was killing her siblings with torture ..I was only able to save Athena and since then Athena is so dependent on me like a mother she follows me everywhere and in many ways acts more like a loyal dog ..she also has little fear and is so well laid back almost nothing phases her...everyone has a pet at some point that feels more like a small companion they feel very attached to and I do NOT want to ever think about the day Athena is no longer around...I do hope though when the day comes she goes very peaceful.

kinda typed more than I wanted but sorta got caught up.

[ariastar]

My best friend's Golden went the other day for a biopsy. It doesn't look good for him. This dog, a rescued buddy, went from being trouble to one of the best. I hate threads like this.

*BEAR HUGS*

[rabidbadger]

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

:(

[skyz]

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

:(

it is sad to be parted from our loved ones but death is not something terrible

love continues on like radio waves move to the outer limits of the universe nothing impedes love not even death

[ariastar]

Euthanasia's been pushed back to Sunday at 4pm because the prednisone is helping for now and Max has become a bit more playful, even trying to hump Emma last night, which was so funny.

The tumor is five full centimeters, so it can't be pushed back too much further as it will continue to grow. Nick's mom and brother are in from Canada. I'm glad they are here.

Last night we took all eight monsters, er, puppies, and Emma over there. The prednisone helped which was good, and we got lots of pictures, and Emma and Max were like each other's shadows. So precious! It's still so sad though.

[ryudo]

I feel ya Aria ..the other dog we had was a cocker spaniel named Lady..had her for many years but in her older age she developed cancer and had to be put down.

So I feel how hard this can be for you and send best wishes.
When I think of these things I get reminded of that 80's garfeild 9 lives special in the segment about the cat and the Piano.:(

[rabidbadger]

When I think of these things I get reminded of that 80's garfeild 9 lives special in the segment about the cat and the Piano.
huh?

[ryudo]

When I think of these things I get reminded of that 80's garfeild 9 lives special in the segment about the cat and the Piano.
huh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ge2BhXU5Co