Death Stories (Office Style)

[soundwave2-0]

I had this cousin named Jason. One summer he went to Camp Crystal Lake. One day he went swimming, but he never really was that strong of a swimmer. He started having trouble in the water. He screamed for help and waved his arms to try to get someone's attention, but the teenage counselors couldn't hear his gurgled screams since they were preoccupied having sex. He drowned that day. I still miss Jason.

[point5o]

My uncle, Austin, was a Navy SEAL. His team was on this mission: some Middle Eastern terrorists hijacked a 747, so the SEALs attempted a mid-air stealth boarding to stop the terrorists. There was turbulence during the boarding and the tube connecting the 747 and stealth plane tore. The rest of the team made it on board the 747, but not Austin. He got suck out into the sky; he died saving everyone else. He's the bravest man I ever knew.

[fushna]

^ I already feel dumb for not knowing it but what is that from?

[dromeonyourchest]

I had an Uncle, well a friends Uncle, well a friend of a friends uncle...anyhow. He was in the army during WWII and went on a mission to save some guy named Ryan. He killed a lot of Nazis and in the end he got shot. Thats all I got to say about that.

[tokenuser]

I had a dog once. Crossed 5 counties just get get to where we moved to, then got hit at the corner by the moving truck. I miss that dog.

[boxcarjay]

^ I already feel dumb for not knowing it but what is that from?

its a steven segal movie where he is the one that dies man that freaked me out hmm trying to remember the name oh yeah executive desicion im pretty sure thats it

[masherscf]

its a steven segal movie where he is the one that dies man that freaked me out hmm trying to remember the name oh yeah executive desicion im pretty sure thats it

Dude! Don't give it away.

So, I was in World War 2. My unit jumped into Normandy on D-day and nothing went right. My three brothers were killed and some smart guy at the pentagon thought it would be to tragic if I died too. They sent this small band of Army Rangers across Normandy in order to save me. They all died accept this one tough guy and a wimpy bastard who just stayed in the building and cried.

[soundwave2-0]

Dude! Don't give it away.

So, I was in World War 2. My unit jumped into Normandy on D-day and nothing went right. My three brothers were killed and some smart guy at the pentagon thought it would be to tragic if I died too. They sent this small band of Army Rangers across Normandy in order to save me. They all died accept this one tough guy and a wimpy bastard who just stayed in the building and cried.

seriously? at least go with a different "movie".

[dromeonyourchest]

seriously? at least go with a different "movie".

You could probably interpret mine as Forest Gump if you left out WWII and Ryan.

[muled]

I had these uncles Seth and Richie. They weren't the nicest guys, something about being robbers I think. Any way they were down in Mexico with this nice family at a gentleman's club and Richie died. Actually pretty much everybody in the bar did except Seth and this daughter of the nice family.

[soundwave2-0]

I had an uncle...can't remember his name, but everyone called him Goose. He was a great pilot, but he died while flying one day. Tragic accident. Ever since then..it's like..like..i lost that lovin feelin.

[tokenuser]

I know I shouldn't talk about it, but my cousin was a cop. We only found out after he died that he was deep under cover with the mob. We thought he was a bum like the rest of us. Asshole went and got shot by a dirty cop in the precinct ... and he thought they were friends.

[wildchild]

My buddy's brother, he used to pilot this ship and found out some government secret. He and his crew were going to broadcast it all over the galaxy...I mean globe. Then he got stabbed through the chest by some pilots. Yea...

[soundwave2-0]

In school I had this good friend, Thomas J. He was really tight with this girl in our class...Vada or some silly name like that. Well...one day they are out in the woods playing and have their first kiss or what not. On the way back she notices she lost her mood ring. The nice guy he is..he decided to go back and find it for her. Well...he upset a bee hive and they all swarmed after him and stung him to death.

I was torn up, but the girl was hit hard. I remember at the funeral they buried him without his glasses. She threw a fit. Screaming "Where's Thomas J's glasses? He can't see with out his glasses!". Felt real sorry for her, but her poor dad...i know if she was MY GIRL it would kill me to see her like that.

[masherscf]

I'm a prison guard at this federal prison for high security prisoners. My life kind of sucks and my only real fun is abusing the old-guy in the plastic cell. I met this really hot chick in a bar. She's pretty smoking and she really wanted to have sex with me in the men's room. That should have been my first clue, no one wants to ever have sex with me. Anyhow, she must have drugged me because a woke up in the bathroom stall later with my pants down. She hadn't taken wallet so I decided to mark it up to some fraternity prank. I got to grope the ***** and snog her so I wasn't really pissed-off about it. Later on the old guy in the plastic cell kills me by pulling liquid metal out of my body.... I wonder how that happened...

[soundwave2-0]

I'm a prison guard at this federal prison for high security prisoners. My life kind of sucks and my only real fun is abusing the old-guy in the plastic cell. I met this really hot chick in a bar. She's pretty smoking and she really wanted to have sex with me in the men's room. That should have been my first clue, no one wants to ever have sex with me. Anyhow, she must have drugged me because a woke up in the bathroom stall later with my pants down. She hadn't taken wallet so I decided to mark it up to some fraternity prank. I got to grope the ***** and snog her so I wasn't really pissed-off about it. Later on the old guy in the plastic cell kills me by pulling liquid metal out of my body.... I wonder how that happened...


hahaha!!! you said snog. i thought that was just a british stereotype.

how can you say that with a straight face...let alone make that sound sexy?

note: you should have made it an uncle or a cousin. funny though i watched x2 again this weekend.

[tokenuser]

hahaha!!! you said snog. i thought that was just a british stereotype.Coulda been worse - he could have called it a pash.

[muled]

This one time ... my sister was at band camp ....

[soundwave2-0]

one time i was hitchhiking and i was picked up by a female truck driver she told me this story...

On this very night, ten years ago, along this very stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building... And when they pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...

never will forget that story...

[tokenuser]

Hey, me and a buddy of mine went hitchhiking once. Met up with his cousin, and this girl I met at a party. As much as I want to go home, I don't think there is anything there for me anymore. At least I have my towel.

[big-doze]

My cousin's ex-roommate, Donny? Always went out bowling with this crazy Vietnam vet and... some dude with a long name. Anyway, those guys got mixed up in some shady business with kidnappers and, well, they got ambushed outside the bowling alley one night. They fought off the attackers, but Donny... his poor heart just couldn't take the stress.

Nice guy, but always a few steps behind.

[masherscf]

I met this really freaky blond chick. She was hot and wasn't wearing underwear. We went back to my place and had some wild monkey sex. Just as I was busting a nut, she murdered me with an ice-pick.

[soundwave2-0]

I met this really freaky blond chick. She was hot and wasn't wearing underwear. We went back to my place and had some wild monkey sex. Just as I was busting a nut, she murdered me with an ice-pick.

come on guys it can't be you that was murdered....missing the whole point that way.

[boxcarjay]

my brother met this one girl and they were friends for a long time. Then they finally got together but he got stung by a bunch of bees and had an alergic reaction and died. Now shes my girl.

[soundwave2-0]

my brother met this one girl and they were friends for a long time. Then they finally got together but he got stung by a bunch of bees and had an alergic reaction and died. Now shes my girl.

WTF? Dude i did that one a cpl posts ago.

[boxcarjay]

WTF? Dude i did that one a cpl posts ago.

that your friend and my brother are the same guy? it is a small world after all

[bullgator2255]

My cousin told me a story about how she, in an effort to make little extra cash, went out one night after curfew to prostitute. Well, the cops nabbed her, and they were about to "snog" her, when this guy is a mask showed up and killed the cops. He then blew up some building...he died a year later.