am i unreasonable to expect respect ?

[skyz]

yesterday i was at a sorta friend's house and she was upset with her S0 so she started yelling at him and them about him to me

so i told her not to yell at me

she tends to go off if you present her with the truth no matter how calmly

she continued so i left and i won't be going back

now i don't put up with people yelling at me

if people think little of me and make remarks i either ignore them discuss it with them or slap them down verbally

but i don't put up with people yelling at me

i swear i world tell larry or serge to f..ck off in a heart beat if they screamed at me

why do people yell

what would you do if someone screamed at you ?

[xibalba]

I yell sometimes but usually walk off and be alone so I don't yell at someone who doesn't deserve it. As for being yelled at I do the same walk away ignore them till they are calmed down.

[tokenuser]

Wait until you get married - you get used to it :rolleyes:

[kronos6948]

I grew up in an italian family where yelling was constant.

You'd think something was wrong if a disagreement wasn't a shouting match. It would always escalate. I think the reason for it is that each person feels incredulous that the other person doesn't agree with their point of view.

Also, what seems to be the case is that some folks strategy for arguing is to continue talking so that you can't address the points that are brought up in the argument. So, the person who keeps talking ends up being interrupted by the other person who continually grows angry because they can't address the points. So, what happens next is the person who is filibustering starts speaking overtop of the other person, and the escalation continues.

[esophagus]

I just ignore it, depending on the situation.

When a person is having a general bad time, or there is some precedent for the anger, I let it slide. It sounds like that might be the case here, but I don't know.

Otherwise I just totally shut them down.

[skyz]

Also, what seems to be the case is that some folks strategy for arguing is to continue talking so that you can't address the points that are brought up in the argument. So, the person who keeps talking ends up being interrupted by the other person who continually grows angry because they can't address the points. So, what happens next is the person who is filibustering starts speaking overtop of the other person, and the escalation continues.

hmm...in this case this person keeps getting louder so you can't address any points or bring up any facts or truth so in my case i just don't care anymore

she is remarkably stupid at times and thinks if she can yell loud enough it will make her position valid

i am sick of it it is so vulgar

she will inevitably come around and apologize but better and richer than she treat me with great respect so i am over her

i feel sorry for her and would like to help her but i don't care enough to work too hard at it

she barely has a high school education and i have 250 college credits

if she had any smarts she would shut up and listen to me

i think that actually the problem is she feels the educational gap as a social slap

which maybe it is

but it is not my fault that she was partying and drugging while i was in class

[skyz]

I just ignore it, depending on the situation.

When a person is having a general bad time, or there is some precedent for the anger, I let it slide. It sounds like that might be the case here, but I don't know.

Otherwise I just totally shut them down.

you make another good point

i want to say to her 'since you are so into being in control and having things your way then how come you are so unhappy all the time with the results ? and why should you expect everyone around you to suffer because you are miserable ?'

i swear if she had a million a year with no reponsibilities she would still be full of rage

i think it is a matter of who you are not what you have !

[ericjosepi]

Well hon, I come from a loud German family that will scream over each other and have 20 different conversations at the same time.

But I think you have a point in saying that the stupid talk and talk and never fucking listen. If they choose to make an argument, they should at least acknowledge the other side. With out trying to be too political about this (just make a point), I'll hold up Fox News Channel as an example. They have a side of the story that the upper echelons of the channel want to get across and they barely acknowledge the other side. Bloggers are just as bad. I don't pretend to defend News Corp. but there are times when HuffPost or smaller blogs like Raw Story and Crooks and Liars piss me off and it comes down to vigorous chest thumping by one view point. It's not all bad but there are times when I shake my head and go back to games and/or coding.

It's not too much to ask a little respect and to wish to be heard out. Not at all. I just wish that you might revise your argument because, true as it may be (I don't know because I'm not intimately familiar with the situation), it borders on ad hominem and no one wins when arguments or debates devolve into mud-slinging.

As for education being a social slap? Maybe, but if it is as you say, a self-imposed sociological failing on her behalf; then she has no one to blame but her self.

[skyz]

It's not too much to ask a little respect and to wish to be heard out. Not at all. I just wish that you might revise your argument because, true as it may be (I don't know because I'm not intimately familiar with the situation), it borders on ad hominem and no one wins when arguments or debates devolve into mud-slinging.



when it is past the point of argument and gets to the point of 'i don't get enough out of this relationship to put up with what i have to endure' is that ad hominem ?

or how about 'this is below my standards' pure and simple ?

[ericjosepi]

when it is past the point of argument and gets to the point of 'i don't get enough out of this relationship to put up with what i have to endure' is that ad hominem ?

or how about 'this is below my standards' pure and simple ?

Fair enough, I actually had the "drugging and partying" comment in mind when I wrote that. Actually, I kinda regret it now, because it's not really the more I ponder it... oh well. I should really just stop talking. I always think I'm being smart, but I should just shut up.

[skyz]

Fair enough, I actually had the "drugging and partying" comment in mind when I wrote that. Actually, I kinda regret it now, because it's not really the more I ponder it...

you strike a relevant point

here on south beach the party and drug people are considered the cool people but it is short term career path with no residual benefits and many long term detriments ;)

[ericjosepi]

here on south beach the party and drug people are considered the cool people but it is short term career path with no residual benefits and many long term detriments ;)

Sounds like my high-school days... Funny how many people still like that life (aka Bar-stars). It's so much more fun just to hang out at a friends condo with a few beers, some games and bullshitting than drink my ass off at some shitty bar and give crabs to an exchange student (that was hilarious to find out about. Just to disclaim: I didn't give anyone crabs, it was an ex-comrade who gave the exchange student crabs).

[xibalba]

Yelling and bickering is why I am not social with very many people. I prefer a calm peaceful enviroment.

[skyz]

Yelling and bickering is why I am not social with very many people. I prefer a calm peaceful environment.


exactly :cool:

almost no one comes is my apartment

it is a zen monastery though a bit more luxurious

and i rarely answer the phone

this thread was about an anomaly it won't be repeated

she does not have my address even though i live in the next block

my name isn't even on my mailbox

i am for a tranquil life

[ariastar]

yesterday i was at a sorta friend's house and she was upset with her S0 so she started yelling at him and them about him to me

so i told her not to yell at me

she tends to go off if you present her with the truth no matter how calmly

she continued so i left and i won't be going back

now i don't put up with people yelling at me

if people think little of me and make remarks i either ignore them discuss it with them or slap them down verbally

but i don't put up with people yelling at me

i swear i world tell larry or serge to f..ck off in a heart beat if they screamed at me

why do people yell

what would you do if someone screamed at you ?



She wasn't yelling at you. She was yelling about him to you. Different things. If she was screaming at you and insulting YOU, then it'd be different.

I didn't grow up around a lot of yelling. If my parents were mad, they got quiet. Silence was deadly. So yelling really stresses me because I don't know how to handle it. The only exposure to a lot of yelling I've had is with an ex of mine who was abusive. If someone yells AT me now (versus yelling about someone else), then I panic and get severe anxiety for a few days and have a hard time not crying. The last time I was around yelling it resulted in me having a hard time breathing and curling up into a little ball of panic even though I wasn't part of what was going on.

Okay, now I'm stressed.

[secret-steve-crumbles]

Wait until you get married - you get used to it :rolleyes:
hahahah, so true. so true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtvPCvaArBQ

[ariastar]

Wait until you get married - you get used to it :rolleyes:

I can't wait for it. Marriage, that it. I don't foresee much yelling.

[heyseuss]

[COLOR="Plum"]
[QUOTE]almost no one comes is my apartment

Nobody has been to my house except old friends from 20 yrs ago.

it is a zen monastery though a bit more luxurious

Me too, but maybe not that luxurious.


and i rarely answer the phone

Never, never answer the phone. Only very few select ppl have my phone number, and they only call when I ask them too, the rest of the time it's ringing, I ignore it.


she does not have my address even though i live in the next block

My best friends don't know where I live. People that I've been hanging with in their homes for 10-11 years, don't know where I live.

my name isn't even on my mailbox

I don't even have a mailbox.

also like you, no FTW, haven't had tv in my home since 2001. I do own 7-8 tv's though.

[skyz]

If she was screaming at you and insulting YOU, then it'd be different.

I didn't grow up around a lot of yelling. If my parents were mad, they got quiet. Silence was deadly. So yelling really stresses me because I don't know how to handle it. The only exposure to a lot of yelling I've had is with an ex of mine who was abusive. If someone yells AT me now (versus yelling about someone else), then I panic and get severe anxiety for a few days and have a hard time not crying. The last time I was around yelling it resulted in me having a hard time breathing and curling up into a little ball of panic even though I wasn't part of what was going on.

Okay, now I'm stressed.

no she went very quickly from yelling about him to yelling and insulting me

one of her 'bon mots' was calling me a 'low life'

now the funny thing is that her fury was directed at the SO because he bought her her computer but he has kept in his name (control factor)

he told her she need a land line to hook up to the internet

i told her that was bs that i had cable internet no cable tv and no landline - i picked up my cell called atlantic broadband asked if i was right (of course i was) and handed her the phone so she could hear it for herself

also as many of you know not only did no one buy me my computer nor did i pay for it myself i got it by emailing michael dell that his costumer service was beyond ludicrous got a phone call from a vp of dell and in five minutes talked him into sending me a new computer of my choice

so i don't quite understand how getting a multi billionaire to do my bidding makes me a 'low life' :D

[skyz]

FTW, haven't had tv in my home since 2001. I do own 7-8 tv's though.

i don't own a tv

when i enrolled in my first music class i gave my tv away

this particular 'friend' had jerry springer on ;) while this yelling was going on

thx for your input all of you

this person is in no way worthy of my friendship

i am done with her

[rabidbadger]

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-angry-weasel-soup.jpg

[xibalba]

I don't think I could have no tv at all I like to play video games and of course watching movies.

[lordbyron]

I grew up in an italian family where yelling was constant.

You'd think something was wrong if a disagreement wasn't a shouting match. It would always escalate. I think the reason for it is that each person feels incredulous that the other person doesn't agree with their point of view.

Also, what seems to be the case is that some folks strategy for arguing is to continue talking so that you can't address the points that are brought up in the argument. So, the person who keeps talking ends up being interrupted by the other person who continually grows angry because they can't address the points. So, what happens next is the person who is filibustering starts speaking overtop of the other person, and the escalation continues.

I grew up in an Italian family also you know it gets serious when the yelling in English turns to yelling in Italian .

[lordbyron]

I can't wait for it. Marriage, that it. I don't foresee much yelling.

Yea yo say that now...But actually in my married life the first 2 years were a honeymoon then it got to the yelling stage but about year 5 until now,year 12 now more yelling. I think it is because we know each other so well and we know what to do when the other is mad. My wife j=knows to stay away when I am in a crabby mood.

[heyseuss]

i don't own a tv

when i enrolled in my first music class i gave my tv away

this particular 'friend' had jerry springer on ;) while this yelling was going on


I watch about 70 movies a month, and do editing and playstation gaming, so I have a lot of tv's, but haven't had a feed in the house in 7-8 years. The only reason I know about rev3 is because I had an operation in my throat several years ago, and recovered at my rich friends house who has every tv channel possible and I spent 2 weeks lying on the couch flipping channels and discovered the Screensavers with Alex and Kevin and liked them.

Skyz, do you realise how funny that is about your ex-friend and Jerry Springer ?

[heyseuss]

I don't think I could have no tv at all I like to play video games and of course watching movies.

Yeh but could you manage no access to cable/local channels? I mean, I have tv's to do what you do, but exclusively gaming and netflix, no feed.

[rabidbadger]

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-birds-not-speaking-parrots.jpg

[xibalba]

I mainly use tv for background noise. Only a few show I really watch WWE, mythbusters, Stargate Atlantis.

[ariastar]

Yea yo say that now...But actually in my married life the first 2 years were a honeymoon then it got to the yelling stage but about year 5 until now,year 12 now more yelling. I think it is because we know each other so well and we know what to do when the other is mad. My wife j=knows to stay away when I am in a crabby mood.

When we get mad, usually I storm off and am bitchy for a few hours, then we talk, kiss and make up, and it's all good. I"m actually pretty easy to pacify and get to talk, and I pick my battles. Except when I'm PMSy, then hell breaks loose.

[xibalba]

Here's how I look at it if yer wife/gf is mad and yelling at ya. Best to sit and just listen. No need to yell back or make things worse by arguing. Especially if you aren't the cause of the problem.

[kronos6948]

Here's how I look at it if yer wife/gf is mad and yelling at ya. Best to sit and just listen. No need to yell back or make things worse by arguing. Especially if you aren't the cause of the problem.

Good thought, but doesn't work all the time in practice.

That's the method I decided to take with my ex.

Her resort was to either get violent, or storm out, get in her car, and go on a rampage.

[xibalba]

Well yea some people it won't work on.

[damnedeyez]

the "sit it out" works best when they just need to get it out.

[skyz]

Well yea some people it won't work on.

it won't work with this person because what is really troubling her is not something she can admit to even to herself

a few days ago i said by chance in conversation about guys: 'for me to be with someone they have to as smart as i am'

and she said 'which means no one

so i said 'well at least somewhere near as smart or someone very pure someone angelic'

so you see the compliment she paid to my intellect - that's the problem - it is hard on her that i am me

does that make sense ?

not only do i not own a tv i would never watch jerry springer

and though i don't diss her for doing so the difference between us must be painfully obvious to her

emphasis on the painful


now i have another relationship problem

this one is heartbreaking

my dearest friend for 10 years was one of my first music teachers

he is a genius musicologist and a pure philosopher

we have over the years spent zillions of hours together

we talk deep very very very deep

he would do anything for me

he is married there is no romance here this is pure abstract intellect

the problem is he is a talker and i talk a lot to

i love talking to him

but i feel the need to accomplish some things

so in order to do that i think i need to stop talking about those things i want to actually do with him

which doesn't leave much else to talk about

[esophagus]

Is that supposed to be a poem, or are you just afraid of full sentences? ;)

[skyz]

Is that supposed to be a poem, or are you just afraid of full sentences? ;)

i am a poet :cool:

i write this way because i want to :)

it has meaning if you get it if you don't i'm not going to apologize nor explain

i actually have extremely good english skills

i have been asked and well paid to edit my dance teacher's doctoral thesis (she got it easy breezy)

i got a perfect score on the english part of the SATS

definitely not on the math :D

picasso could easily paint like rembrandt but it was not the expression he felt

for me if after i was dead people said of me 'everything she wrote and everything she did and everything she was had a touch of the poet' i would think i had done well in my span on earth

does that answer your question ?

[xibalba]

I don't see a problem with the way she types. I find it easier to read than a lot of sentenced bunched together.

[esophagus]

I don't see a problem with the way she types. I find it easier to read than a lot of sentenced bunched together.
I have no problems with it, I'm just making a joke. Still, don't find it easier to read than sentences.

[xibalba]

maybe i have seen it enough that i got use to it and find it easier to read i am one of the most confusing writers one here it seems because i leave out . , and other punctuation quite often

[Bohemian_Beauty]

I have no problems with it, I'm just making a joke. Still, don't find it easier to read than sentences.

I'll have to agree with you on that. Regardless, I care not how she types.

[skyz]

I'll have to agree with you on that. Regardless, I care not how she types. I have no problems with it, I'm just making a joke. Still, don't find it easier to read than sentences.

no problem :)

you are obviously not aural in your information processing

you are most likely visual

to someone who is aural like xibby there is a rhythm to the way i write

xibby is innately musical

that's why he 'gets it' :cool:

[ariastar]

no problem :)

you are obviously not aural in your information processing

you are most likely visual

to someone who is aural like xibby there is a rhythm to the way i write

xibby is innately musical

that's why he 'gets it' :cool:

You can be visual and still not have a problem with it. I think it's just that a lot of people grew up with standard sentence and paragraphs structures that don't allow for much variation, though grammar and punctuation seem to have dropped in importance.

[esophagus]

I get it. There's an obvious rhythm to where you cut off your sentences, it isn't just you cutting off where you choose, but as a writer it makes me cringe a bit. You know, the lack of punctuation, capital letters, proper sentences, all that jazz. As I said before though, I don't mind. This is the interwebz. We do as we please.

[skyz]

You can be visual and still not have a problem with it. I think it's just that a lot of people grew up with standard sentence and paragraphs structures that don't allow for much variation, though grammar and punctuation seem to have dropped in importance.

it is the words that matter

actually the meaning of the words

the grammar and puntuation limit and / or alter the expressive meaning of the words at least for me

words are an art form in more ways than one

this is my ever evolving style

i am big on style :)

[skyz]

as a writer it makes me cringe a bit. You know, the lack of punctuation, capital letters, proper sentences, all that jazz. As I s

so what do think of james joyce's writing style ?

[esophagus]

so what do think of james joyce's writing style ?
What you are doing is a far cry from James Joyce's style.

As you said, writing is an artform. As such it is fluid. There will always be innovation to the way that it operates, and adjust made to fit an overall tone. For example, starting a sentence with "And" or "But" is totally improper, but often fits well into what you are writing, depending on character, tone, etc. Still, there are some conventions that I'd call 100% necessary, like the use of at least the most menial punctuation or sentences. Your writing works here, because absolutely no style is needed. If you wrote a book like that, however, I'd call you an absolute crock.

[skyz]

What you are doing is a far cry from James Joyce's style.

As you said, writing is an artform. As such it is fluid. There will always be innovation to the way that it operates, and adjust made to fit an overall tone. For example, starting a sentence with "And" or "But" is totally improper, but often fits well into what you are writing, depending on character, tone, etc. Still, there are some conventions that I'd call 100% necessary, like the use of at least the most menial punctuation or sentences. Your writing works here, because absolutely no style is needed. If you wrote a book like that, however, I'd call you an absolute crock.


james joyce's style was stream of consciousness and so is mine

i got my A's from my very fine english professors who were delighted to find me in their classes

i don't really value your opinion

i don't require consensus

[esophagus]

james joyce's style was stream of consciousness and so is mine

i got my A's from my very fine english professors who were delighted to find me in their classes

i don't really value your opinion

i don't require consensus

"It is noble to write as we think; it is the privilege of humanity" - Volitaire

Again, I don't care how you write. I'm not attacking your style personally, just debating writing itself. Also, I'm guessing your A papers weren't written in the same fashion as your posts here. I write in a stream-of-conciousness style as well. I just adhere to certain conventions.

[rabidbadger]

uh oh!!! bo-be just discoverd colored text. run away run away. haha

[skyz]

If you wrote a book like that, however, I'd call you an absolute crock.

i write like this in my blog and people send me money which i spend on things i like

your opinion doesn't benefit me at all

that's capitalism

[skyz]

uh oh!!! bo-be just discoverd colored text. run away run away. haha

did you know that the ancient greeks only saw max three colors - socrates refers to the 'three colored rainbow'

it wasn't until the renaissance that people saw seven colors

[ericjosepi]

did you know that the ancient greeks only saw max three colors - socrates refers to the 'three colored rainbow'

And the TV I'm watching Tekzilla on still operates on ancient principals

[esophagus]

i write like this in my blog and people send me money which i spend on things i like

your opinion doesn't benefit me at all

that's capitalismI'm not saying the things you are saying are worthless because of the way you type, just that the way you type isn't technically correct. That is something you already know. I'm not sure what you are getting so defensive about.

[rabidbadger]

hmm. am I doing something wrong... can't get the youtube embed to work.... anyway... link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xALiBgzPzE

[xibalba]

hmm. am I doing something wrong... can't get the youtube embed to work.... anyway... link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xALiBgzPzE

Just put the -xALiBgzPzE part of the addy.

[rabidbadger]

huh? I did in bracket youtube unbrackets. gave the player, but a constant loading spinny thing.

http://castlezzt.net/Slideshow/derail.jpg

[xibalba]

Did ya do it like this <youtube>-xALiBgzPzE</youtube>
or did ya put the entire addy?

[esophagus]

Edit: Bah. Nothing.

[skyz]

I'm not saying the things you are saying are worthless because of the way you type, just that the way you type isn't technically correct. That is something you already know. I'm not sure what you are getting so defensive about.

my last english literature professor would apologize to me for giving me a 98% or a 97% on my essays 'because you are no longer writing academically'

i though that was great !

i got to do what i wanted and i got my A

it works for me

i am fine with it

i am not defensive it is just that if you look back to the post that originally attracted your attention you might note my quandary

i am tired of talking and feel the need to accomplish