Official 'Who would win' thread

[henrik]

Inspired by the Tek-Mail episode, post your 'Who would win' discussions here.

To start us off:

Superman vs Harry Potter

[iSteve]

Inspired by the Tek-Mail episode, post your 'Who would win' discussions here.

To start us off:

Superman vs Harry Potter

Harry Potter because of magic. Same principle as the Jedi using the Force.

[gobo]

Superman because Harry wouldn't use any of the forbidden curses.

[henrik]

Yeah but Supes is still way faster than some english school boy with a wand.
Heatvision vs Avada Kedavra.

[paper]

Harry never really uses offensive spells, just counters. Superman could potentially win. He wouldn't stand a chance against Dumbledore or Snape.

[valoharth]

Harry Potter because he has Deus Ex Machina on his side.

[labor_days]

I don't know shit about Harry Potter, but Superman is weak against magic.

[iSteve]

The real match-up would be Superman against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

[esophagus]

Superman would win because Harry is a wuss.


Aquaman vs. Namor

[esophagus]

The real match-up would be Superman against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.Terrible match-up. Superman loses in a second.

[iSteve]

Superman would win because Harry is a wuss.


Aquaman vs. Namor

Namor. He has little conscience and wouldn't mind getting his hands dirty. Aquaman is just too damn nice.

[paper]

Aquaman is just too damn nice.

Depends on the Aquaman.

[valoharth]

Superman would win because Harry is a wuss.


Aquaman vs. Namor

Namor hands down, he is the bigger bastard.

[labor_days]

The real match-up would be Superman against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Captain Marvel? That's a classic match up.

But I give the edge to Superman in that he has more options in combat than Marvel.

[esophagus]

Namor. He has little conscience and wouldn't mind getting his hands dirty. Aquaman is just too damn nice.Let me try adding a bit of a scenario to it. Give it more substance.

Namor is trying to get into DC's Atlantis.

[paper]

He Who Must Not Be Named = Voldemort from Harry Potter.

[jaflanagan]

Let me try adding a bit of a scenario to it. Give it more substance.

Namor is trying to get into DC's Atlantis.

Which Atlantis? They're both king of Atlantises.

I don't know which Aquaman you're reading, but Grant Morrison's Arthur kicks the shit out of Namor. Plus, he can use his telepathy to f Namor all up, and call in sea beasts to finish the job.

Do you people even read comics?

[valoharth]

Let me try adding a bit of a scenario to it. Give it more substance.

Namor is trying to get into DC's Atlantis.

Well acording to the Art of War, Aquaman. He would be fighting in his homeland which will more likely give him the edge not only because he knows the habbitat but because he is defending his home. People tend to become more morally gray in that situation.

[labor_days]

Um, Namor easily. Aquaman is not at Namor's power level by demonstrable means. Well, Aquaman does have magic after a fashion. Still Namor is far more ruthless and has that sword that can cut through anything.

Namor is also the surlier asshole.

[iSteve]

Let me try adding a bit of a scenario to it. Give it more substance.

Namor is trying to get into DC's Atlantis.

I still say Namor. But it also might depend on who has the bigger trident. ;)

[paper]

Batman vs. James Bond

[iSteve]

Batman beats the sh*t out of James Bond.

[esophagus]

Batman vs. James BondBatman.

He would lurk in the shadows and catch Bond during sex.

[iSteve]

Also, Batman's toys are way cooler than Bond's.

[paper]

Adrien Monk vs. The Penguin

[henrik]

Batman beats the sh*t out of James Bond.

Most probably.

Batman vs Remo - The Destroyer.

[valoharth]

Batman Vs. Bond

Um really? What Bond are we talking about? I think Batman would just strip Bond down and beat him in a chair with a rope...

Monk Vs. Penguin

I don't know it would be interesting.

[iSteve]

Adrien Monk vs. The Penguin

Monk takes the Penguin but is psyched out by Penguin's habit of eating raw fish.

[labor_days]

Adrien Monk?

Not sure where he's from. Wiki link?

edit: Nevermind. I don't know shit about Monk either. Sorry, I don't watch much telly.

[paper]

Gordon the Intern vs. Chuck Norris

describe

[iSteve]

Most probably.

Batman vs Remo - The Destroyer.

Forgive my ignorance, but who is the Remo of which you speak?

[henrik]

Forgive my ignorance, but who is the Remo of which you speak?

Remo master of Sinanju. From the The Destroyer books by Richard Sapir and Warren Murphy.
Marvel published the comic a few years ago.

[iSteve]

Gordon the Intern vs. Chuck Norris

describe

Gordon the Intern would kick Chuck Norris' ass. First he would distract Norris with some comicon booth babes and he shoots him in the foot. Norris realizes he is at Gordon's mercy, so they decide to watch some NetFlix together. The End.

[valoharth]

The Stay-Puff Marshmellow Man vs The Human Tourch

[henrik]

The Stay-Puff Marshmellow Man vs The Human Tourch

= crazy delicious!

[labor_days]

Gordon would simply flash those puppy dog eyes at Norris and all would be forgiven. Later, after the make-up sex, Gordon would murder Norris in his sleep.

That's the game Gordon the Intern plays.

[iSteve]

The Stay-Puff Marshmellow Man vs The Human Tourch

Oh come on, Valoharth, that's not even a choice. It's a marshmallow roast.

[paper]

Gordon the Intern vs. Galactus

[valoharth]

Gordon would simply flash those puppy dog eyes at Norris and all would be forgiven. Later, after the make-up sex, Gordon would murder Norris in his sleep.

That's the game Gordon the Intern plays.

I think this is the most likely result, I mean who can say no to those puppy dog eyes?

[valoharth]

Oh come on, Valoharth, that's not even a choice. It's a marshmallow roast.

I know, I just wanted some Smores....

Okay The Atom vs Stay-Puff

[iSteve]

Gordon the Intern vs. Galactus

I think that this is a stale-mate. Both are gods of enormous power. In the end, I believe that Galactus would agree to serve as Gordon the Intern's herald.

[iSteve]

I know, I just wanted some Smores....

Okay The Atom vs Stay-Puff

I'm going to go with Stay-Puff on this one. The Atom gets too sticky to fight and becomes the Stay-Puff's toe jam.

[gordontheintern]

Harry Potter < Superman < Snape (assuming Snape is actually just Alan Rickman).

Bond < Batman - although Bond still looks good at the end (Bond as played by Daniel Craig).

Me vs. Chuck Norris - please. I shouldn't even have to respond to that.

Me vs. Galactus - that's a little bit more interesting - although I win because I am real...and he is a drawing.

[iSteve]

The iFanboys versus the guys from Around Comics...

[wellthatsalright]

iFanboys Vs AntiFanboys

[labor_days]

I am pretty sure Conor has experience in murder. Remember his late night photo and the questions about how best to bury a body?

Yes, Conor definitely has...experience.

iFanboy > AC, but Skottie is a wild card. He'd take Josh and Ron at least.

[valoharth]

I am pretty sure Conor has experience in murder. Remember his late night photo and the questions about how best to bury a body?

Yes, Conor definitely has...experience.

iFanboy > AC, but Skottie is a wild card. He'd take Josh and Ron at least.

Well are you also taking in account of Gordan?

[iSteve]

Well are you also taking in account of Gordan?

Ah, the iFanboy secret weapon! But you've still got to take into account that the Around Comics guys are heavy drinkers. I wouldn't put it passed them to break some bottles and try to gut the iFanboys like a dead fish. And you especially have to watch out for that Tom Katers guy. He's dangerous. With the exception of Conner, our boys are just too darn nice.

[valoharth]

Ah, the iFanboy secret weapon! But you've still got to take into account that the Around Comics guys are heavy drinkers. I wouldn't put it passed them to break some bottles and try to gut the iFanboys like a dead fish. And you especially have to watch out for that Tom Katers guy. He's dangerous. With the exception of Conner, our boys are just too darn nice.

Okay, are the fighters fully bearded? Facial Hair has determined many o' battles in the past. Take Waterloo for example, if Neapolitan had some facial hair he would have won it! And let’s not forget about Rasputin, that guy had major beardage going and look how hard he was to ax?

[iSteve]

Okay, are the fighters fully bearded? Facial Hair has determined many o' battles in the past. Take Waterloo for example, if Neapolitan had some facial hair he would have won it! And let’s not forget about Rasputin, that guy had major beardage going and look how hard he was to ax?

That's definitely a factor to be considered. Too bad Ron recently shaved. Those sideburns are not the same as a manly-man full beard.

[labor_days]

Well are you also taking in account of Gordan?

It would not be very sporting if I did, now would it?