Shrinkage!

[rabidbadger]

So. After a year of wanting it, and a 4 months of needing it, and a few weeks of just putting it off, I finally started seeing a shrink this week. Partly about my procrastination issues, but we'll get to that later. ;)

It was incredibly intense. So intense he gave me a free half hour to finish the giant list of my life long depression/grief/tragedy issues. And how I self medicate with beer, and how I have low self esteem, and how I cover it with either hibernating, or just getting my shit together temporarily when in public. And being a wiseass. :D

Yes, I'll most probably end every paragraph in this post with an emoticon, cause it's an emotion thang. :p

Anyway. Any of you folks seen shrinks? Were they useful to you? Did they help you solve the issues in a permanent way? Was there an end to it, or ongoing? :confused:

[ohhoe]

I wouldn't object to going to a psychologist, just so I could complain about shit in my life. But I know they would just try and medicate me, and I'm against that.

[comhcinc]

i am glad it is helping you out man. never seen a shrink doubt i ever will. i am not comfortable talking to others about my problems, even if i am paying for it.

just the way i am but everyone is different.

[tokenuser]

Only shrink I ever saw was best man at my mothers second marriage.

[rabidbadger]

I wouldn't object to going to a psychologist, just so I could complain about shit in my life. But I know they would just try and medicate me, and I'm against that.

Actually I went to a shrink cause the meds my MD prescribed didn't help all that much. I quit them half a year ago, and the Doctor agreed. Lesson learned: Beer Trumps Prozac
;)

[rabidbadger]

i am glad it is helping you out man. never seen a shrink doubt i ever will. i am not comfortable talking to others about my problems, even if i am paying for it.

just the way i am but everyone is different.

well, too soon to know if it helps. But felt great to "talk to others about my problems" to someone who will not judge me. Only wants to help. I'm not expecting him to be a shoulder to cry on. I'm expecting tough real self realization, like the shrink I saw in my mid twenties, who got me, kicking and screaming, out of the closet. What happened after that? Found a wonderful man, and had ten out twelve years of a great relationship, and the best time of my life. (so far) :)

[phatlip12]

A shrink? I don't like that word.

I saw a grief counselor a few times after my sister died. It didn't really do much for me because I'm the sort of person that deals with things myself. They're great for certain people though. I know someone in counseling now and it's really helping them.

Glad you're going! :)

Ps. When I saw this thread title I thought it had something to do with swimming in the ocean.

[phatlip12]

Partly about my procrastination issues, but we'll get to that later.

Oh, and this is the best post ever. :D

[rabidbadger]

A shrink? I don't like that word.

It's a term of endearment, I really respect them a lot. And also quicker to type than "phsicatric therapist"

I saw a grief counselor a few times after my sister died. It didn't really do much for me because I'm the sort of person that deals with things myself. They're great for certain people though. I know someone in counseling now and it's really helping them.

Yeah, everyone, especially younger folks, try to deal with big issues in their own way, but some things, like what I been going through, need outside help

Glad you're going! :)

Me too.

Ps. When I saw this thread title I thought it had something to do with swimming in the ocean.

That was my little joke. get it... little. shrinkage. eh, nevermind. haha.

[rabidbadger]

Oh, and this is the best post ever. :D

:p

qwwertyi

[rokov]

Glad you decided to get some help, hope it works out for you. :D
I've thought many times that I probably should see a shrink, but I'm kind of a afraid of it. Like ohhoe, I'm concerned that they would just try to medicate me without even attempting therapy (tends to be the case with any kind of depression). In addition, I tend to be the very private and stoic type and I have massive trust issues, so I wouldn't exactly be comfortable telling a stranger my problems (hell, I rarely tell my friends that stuff). I was also a psych major for several years, so I'd probably annoy the hell out of the shrink. lol

[rabidbadger]

Glad you decided to get some help, hope it works out for you. :D

thanks. Been long time coming.


I've thought many times that I probably should see a shrink, but I'm kind of a afraid of it. Like ohhoe, I'm concerned that they would just try to medicate me without even attempting therapy (tends to be the case with any kind of depression).

If the therapist is that lazy, then get another. I been lucky, Had/have two great shrinks. Drugs barely even mentioned. And don't be afraid. If you need someone, you need someone. the end.


In addition, I tend to be the very private and stoic type and I have massive trust issues, so I wouldn't exactly be comfortable telling a stranger my problems (hell, I rarely tell my friends that stuff).

I needed a shrink for those very reasons... I was ashamed to tell my friends, my best friends ever, that my life was spiralling out of control. But oddly the stranger was fine. like I said earlier, non judgemental.

I was also a psych major for several years, so I'd probably annoy the hell out of the shrink. lol

haha. I was raised by a psychologist stepfather. he knew all my tricks. Luckily he had issues of his own I could exploit using his own techniques.

[ryudo]

I WAS IN THE POOL!

Oh.....that type of Shrinkage.....
http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/8863/hidinger2.gif

Ok Seriously glad you found something to help Rabid

No one wants to see a Sad Badger around here.:)

[rabidbadger]

The only thing worse than a sad badger is a mad badger, not to mention a rabid one. Hell, that's why I got banned a month or so ago, worst week of my life. :( not being able to talk with great folks like you.

[skyz]

I wouldn't object to going to a psychologist, just so I could complain about shit in my life. But I know they would just try and medicate me, and I'm against that.

psychologists are for 'talk therapy'

they rarely write RXs

RX's are written by a psychiatrist

[skyz]

mad badger

what holly golightly called 'the mean reds'

[rokov]

psychologists are for 'talk therapy'

they rarely write RXs

RX's are written by a psychiatrist

Yes, but too many shrinks are way too eager to do referrals. Not that I'm suggesting that they're getting kick backs, but ... oh wait, I am. :rolleyes:

[skyz]

Yes, but too many shrinks are way too eager to do referrals. Not that I'm suggesting that they're getting kick backs, but ... oh wait, I am. :rolleyes:

you imply a relevant point

passive transference to the 'shrink' of responsibility for your problems is not the attitude that will bring positive results

you decide what course you want your treatment to take

i went to a psychologist because i was having a lot of the same kind of not so good dreams

so i realized that i must be pretty upset about something

my goal was to find out what that was

no just whine to someone

if you don't want meds just say so

[rabidbadger]

Yeah, My first shrink, about 15 years ago asked if I thought I wanted meds, I said no. It wasn't a chemical imbalance, it was just me being chronically depressed since childhood. New shrink and me haven't mentioned meds yet.

[popltree2]

I went to a "family therapist" a few times when my parents were on the verge of divorce. They ultimately did split up. No meds. Just more like "Do your mom and dad fight a lot?" kind of stuff. Granted, my response of "Look where we are! Do you think is all sunshine and fucking rainbows at home?" could have been a bit more productive, but I think he got the point.

[tokenuser]

I went to a "family therapist" a few times when my parents were on the verge of divorce.Ditto. I think his name was Jack, or Mike, or Bruce or something. He had 14 beers on tap, and made a mean cocktail.

Of course, I was 22 at the time, and he was a barman at my local watering hole ... and didn't really care about any problems I had provided my cash was good.

[rabidbadger]

Token, Obviously I saw the same therapist...

[rabidbadger]

I went to a "family therapist" a few times when my parents were on the verge of divorce. They ultimately did split up. No meds. Just more like "Do your mom and dad fight a lot?" kind of stuff. Granted, my response of "Look where we are! Do you think is all sunshine and fucking rainbows at home?" could have been a bit more productive, but I think he got the point.

I don't think I went to a therapist when my folks were breaking up. I most probably should have, though. But I was way young.


But then again, Therapy, by it's nature only works if it's voluntary, not inflicted. To a kid, it's just "another adult telling me what to do"

[ariastar]

I used to see one, and I ended up far more depressed. Her method was to me to write down how I felt and then write down why I shouldn't feel that way rather than to get to the bottom of those feelings. Like why I shouldn't feel abandoned when my dad's family literally abandoned me after he died. I felt like I was being told I was wrong for feeling how I did if what I was supposed to do was figure out why I was wrong feeling like I did. Meaning I was wrong. I came to dread my appointments I started feeling depressed the night before. She didn't make a secret of how seemingly perfect her life was, and I'm sorry, but I have a hard time seeing how someone who hasn't had much suffering can really relate to a client and help. Her "experience" was what she read in books. She's turned me off to the thought of therapy and now I'm too skeptical of most therapists. I'm sure there are those out there who do a wonderful job, but she wasn't it.

btw, I was there because I have a hard time relating to people because I'm so convinced they're going to go away, and I don't stay connected to people longer than maybe six months, with only rare exceptions. Ask Cody. I've tried HARD to push him away already. Joel, you've seen that, heard me try. So imagine sitting there trying to write down reasons I'm wrong rather than getting to the underlying issue and working on that. A band-aid on a deep gouge doesn't work.

I hopehopehope yours is a better one than mine was.

[tokenuser]

Token, Obviously I saw the same therapist...Part of my issue was that my father had a dependence on visiting the "office" of his "therapist". After seeing what that "prescription" does to a family, I sought other routes.

[rabidbadger]

aria. that therapist sounds horrid! I had a great one when I was in my 20s, He got me independent again, and he got me out of the cage, er, closet.

This new one seems to have similar methods, so far. I think he'll be good. My next appt isn't for TWO mondays from now, and I'm already Jonesing for it. But then again, my addiction issues are half my problem, haha.

But yeah, I honestly hope that "book learnt" doesn't turn you off a good therapist. You been through tragedies that make me look like a little whiner. So I really think a competent tharapist would help. Not being sexist, but try a male therapist, i think they are more pragmatic. My ex and me saw a female couples councelor, and she was proffesional, and helpful, but a little too touchy feely. Obviously it didn't work, haha.

[rabidbadger]

token, not sure what your saying there.

[ariastar]

aria. that therapist sounds horrid! I had a great one when I was in my 20s, He got me independent again, and he got me out of the cage, er, closet.

This new one seems to have similar methods, so far. I think he'll be good. My next appt isn't for TWO mondays from now, and I'm already Jonesing for it. But then again, my addiction issues are half my problem, haha.

But yeah, I honestly hope that "book learnt" doesn't turn you off a good therapist. You been through tragedies that make me look like a little whiner. So I really think a competent tharapist would help. Not being sexist, but try a male therapist, i think they are more pragmatic. My ex and me saw a female couples councelor, and she was proffesional, and helpful, but a little too touchy feely. Obviously it didn't work, haha.


The best therapy for me right now is Cody's refusal to go away. In the past people have left when I needed them, resulting in me not only expecting no one to ever help when I needed it, but refusing it when I need it, too fiercely independent on not trusting nor relying on people. Cody won't go away and helps, whether I want it or not, and it's scary to feel myself becoming dependent on someone (as I think happens in every relationship to some extent - partners), but I also trust him to not drop me. Seriously, this has helped a lot. More than I think a therapist can do.

Sometimes it takes seeing, experiencing, or feeling the opposite of what was so wrong to accept than another side exists. When the problem is due, at its very beginning, to what others so openly did to you, it's not as "simple" as reevaluating why this is this, or that is that. What's needed is to witness the opposite.

Someone chopping off a hand doesn't make a chopped-off thumb hurt any less.

[rabidbadger]

wow. that last line makes SO MUCH SENSE. thanks.

*sings "that's what friends are for"






*tries to get that yucky song out of his head.

[rabidbadger]

yeah. But seeing stable people being normal... not the same.

I was just last night with my bestest friends, and they "seem" normal, but when we talked about my therapy, they told me stories of their past that would make your hair curl. Somehow, they survived, and I wanna be like them.

[ohhoe]

Ditto. I think his name was Jack, or Mike, or Bruce or something. He had 14 beers on tap, and made a mean cocktail.

Of course, I was 22 at the time, and he was a barman at my local watering hole ... and didn't really care about any problems I had provided my cash was good.

My dad bartends and his name is Bruce!

[tokenuser]

Part of my issue was that my father had a dependence on visiting the "office" of his "therapist". After seeing what that "prescription" does to a family, I sought other routes.Alcoholism is not a pretty thing.

[techliveadmin]

Alcoholism is not a pretty thing.

1) you just quoted yourself.
2) the thread title had me thinking something TOTALLY different.
3) Alcoholism sucks big time, no need telling me that [dad is one ;) ]
4) SERIOUSLY 'shrinkage' had me thinking another thing.........

[masherscf]

4) SERIOUSLY 'shrinkage' had me thinking another thing.........

Just because you're always thinking about men's genitalia doesn't mean the rest of us do.

[xibalba]

i wouldn't talk to a shrink, i would probably be locked away if i did

[xm8seven]

Never seen a shrink, don't really plan to anytime soon. I'm pretty comfortable with everything going on with me.
I wouldn't mind going to a shrink though, it could probably get a few things off my chest.

Beer is good.

[tokenuser]

1) you just quoted yourself.And your point is? Badger wanted clarification. Replying to his post would have made no sense ... so I replied to mine so that he could see the context of the meaning.

[rabidbadger]

i wouldn't talk to a shrink, i would probably be locked away if i did

somehow i think you're right about that. :D

[rabidbadger]

Never seen a shrink, don't really plan to anytime soon. I'm pretty comfortable with everything going on with me.
I wouldn't mind going to a shrink though, it could probably get a few things off my chest.

Beer is good.

you sound like a stable soul.
no shrink for You!

and yes. beer is good. Very good.

[rabidbadger]

c'mon, tech and token, let's not derail this. I seek solace in all your wisdom. sure. joke a bit. that's fine, I did with the thread title, but don't derail. i need you folks right now.

[tokenuser]

and yes. beer is good. Very good.mmmm. Too much beer is bad. Very bad. And leads to shrinkage.

So does hooning on suburbans streets.

c2nvAFOk7x0

(yes, real ad)

[rabidbadger]

i dont get that ad. the writers and director need a shrink, or something? How is that relevant?

[tokenuser]

People who drive fast on public streets impress noone ... they have small penises (penii?).

[ariastar]

Joely, Cody and I are here for you, Hon, on forum and off.

[mikec]

'badger, don't know you but you seem like an OK person. Good luck on the quest to make things better. Please remember that each session/visit may not bring major improvement or relief. Small steps sometimes. Hope your path of life gets some of it's potholes repaired.



(BTW, I hope you do not think that you will be normal someday. The best you can be is less messed up then now. Normal does not exist except on TV.)

[straylightrise]

i've been to shrinks and psychs - it helps somewhat

[rabidbadger]

Joely, Cody and I are here for you, Hon, on forum and off.

thanks guys. :) and visa versa.

[rabidbadger]

'badger, don't know you but you seem like an OK person. Good luck on the quest to make things better. Please remember that each session/visit may not bring major improvement or relief. Small steps sometimes. Hope your path of life gets some of it's potholes repaired.

(BTW, I hope you do not think that you will be normal someday. The best you can be is less messed up then now. Normal does not exist except on TV.)

Thanks mikec. Oh, I totally know that it's baby steps, 'specially with all my issues. And, yeah, I have no intent to be "normal" just stable. I enjoy not being normal. it's who I am.

[ariastar]

(BTW, I hope you do not think that you will be normal someday. The best you can be is less messed up then now. Normal does not exist except on TV.)

When we're all messed up somehow, messed is becomes normal. :)

[rabidbadger]

so I found "secular" version of AA on thursday night. Gonna check it out. Not far away, either. Curious more than anything.

[techliveadmin]

so I found "secular" version of AA on thursday night. Gonna check it out. Not far away, either. Curious more than anything.

Just don't be like my 'dad' and go to those meetings drunk.

[rabidbadger]

Just don't be like my 'dad' and go to those meetings drunk.

I Know. I was like 7:30 !!! I'll be half in the bag by then. But I never drive drunk, so I'll stay sober that night.

[rabidbadger]

second verse, same as the first.

Quite intense again tonight. And instead of starting to work on the old stuff, I had to pile a bunch of new stuff on top. The job loss, which means money, which means insurance which means maybe not being able to keep seeing him when I need it most.

(Oh, I didn't mention that here, yeah, I got laid off friday after they milked one more days workout of me.) Bastards.

[phatlip12]

second verse, same as the first.

Quite intense again tonight. And instead of starting to work on the old stuff, I had to pile a bunch of new stuff on top. The job loss, which means money, which means insurance which means maybe not being able to keep seeing him when I need it most.

(Oh, I didn't mention that here, yeah, I got laid off friday after they milked one more days workout of me.) Bastards.

One of my good friends online (Nick- Oubipaws from Scopetech) posted this blog post recently.

It's a very inspirational post along with a very inspirational video featuring Gary from Wine Library TV.

I suggest all you guys check it out.

My favorite quote:

"Ultimately, at the end of the day, did you truly kill it or did you allow someone to steal your thunder because of some TV show, videogame, or other crap stole all of your time? To quote Gary, “Stop fucking watching Lost!”"

http://www.oubipaws.org/featured-articles/can-you-kill-it/

[rabidbadger]

Oubipaws! I seen him round the webosphere. Now that I got some context, I'll pay more attention to him. especially since he posted that awesome inspirational vid.

[phatlip12]

Oubipaws! I seen him round the webosphere. Now that I got some context, I'll pay more attention to him. especially since he posted that awesome inspirational vid.

Yeah dude, Oubi is the same guy I've been working on <insert project name> with.

:)

[rabidbadger]

I knew I knew it from somewhere! so go kick ass, like I KNOW you can.

AND back on topic, but related. Time for me to kick ass too!