Help a parent with IM's?

[greenwar]

Hey, LOVE the series. I am a NOVICE, but as a parent I have a strong need to verify that my kids are safe in their instant messaging habits. We have a DSL router with 4 ethernet ports which also acts as a wireless access point for our very small home network. Can anyone point me to a freeware program and instruction on how to best monitor my kids instant messages (mostly AIM) from my desktop? I don't see many freeware types, and some say that my "switch" needs to be in "monitor or mirror" mode? I can run Wireshark fine and see all sorts of traffic from all stations in the house, but not sure if I'm picking out the AIM traffic as well. If ya can't help, is there a good episode of Hak5 that I can watch? My desktop is plugged directly into the DSL Modem/Router via ethernet cable, and all other stations in the house use it's wireless access point (a 2Wire HomePortal 1200 model maybe? somewhat older, but works great). Suggestions, thoughts are most welcome. Hopefully I posted this is a valid area! Thanks !

[ghostborg]

Rather than covertly spying, just tell them that you will be occasionally reading through their stuff, logs, email, etc. You are the parent, without being a di@#k about it-convey that you are concerned for their safety. If they don't comply then they are probably hiding something and shut them down. Walk up behind them and ask them to scroll through the log for you. I know its tough but they also need to understand that you need to watch out for their well being and if they don't understand that then action must be taken. Sit them down and explain this is how its going to be. My two daughters understood and the most we have had to do is tell them to stop with the f-bombs. Openness IMHO is a better path.

If the kids are say under 12 I used k9 web protection, free, logs, great at keeping them from typing in sex.com.http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

[esophagus]

I would just tell them you're saving logs of their chats. This way they don't find out later that you're spying on them, and you can read what they say. Also, them knowing is a preventative measure. It's better for them to be on their best behavior because they know you're watching than for you to have to bail them out of a lame situation later.

I'm young, and certainly not a parent, but I know that this is the most comfortable situation I can think of for the child, still getting what you want.

[bmwadd1ct]

eek. this is a shifty topic to get into. kids will get offended if you are spying on them and especially if your are telling them. theyll just act unnaturally on the computer and explore their curiosities elsewhere through other means. you really dont want that. i would stick with just kindly reminding of what not to do, as well as periodically checking logs of instant messengers and websites viewed. Try not to be too overprotective, your kids are smarter than you think ;) .

[lampdeskchair]

eek. this is a shifty topic to get into. kids will get offended if you are spying on them and especially if your are telling them. theyll just act unnaturally on the computer and explore their curiosities elsewhere through other means. you really dont want that. i would stick with just kindly reminding of what not to do, as well as periodically checking logs of instant messengers and websites viewed. Try not to be too overprotective, your kids are smarter than you think ;) .

Agreed.


You simply need to respect your kids privacy. Reading their chat logs is worse then those parents who read their kids diarys, or insist upon chaperoning their senior proms. Problem with our country these days is everyone is so dang scared and overprotective. Need to loosen up a bit.

Of course it depends on age though. If your kid is like 12 or something, then fine. Periodically checking IM logs is perfectly acceptable. But over 14-15 you really gotta start letting go.. Like bmw said, they'll explore their curiosities one way or another. Better them being safe in their own home then out at some bar somewhere.


As for the question at hand, ghostborg's post sums it up nicely.

[IanPR]

If you can't trust your kid to go on IM, then they shouldn't be on IM in the first place.

[mebe]

thats messed.

[computerkid]

Agreed, it's better to talk to your children then to covertly spy on them.