Do your friends hate your opinionatedness? (yes thats a word)

[spinney]

So I just got back from seeing twilight with about 5 girls and I don't know if any of you have seen it but its a pretty poorly made movie. It has all the eye candy that the girls I saw it with enjoyed. It has the sappy love story and the happy ending. It was however a terrible movie. I was pretty sure I was going to hate it but I try to see everything that comes out to form my own opinion on it. Being the film lover that I am and someday hope to become a part of the film industry movies are my life, I love them and they are something that I care about. So when someone makes a bad movie I almost take it personal and for some reason I have to tell others about it. The girls know this about me cause I somehow get dragged to many terrible chick flicks with them (whipped I know).

So the movie is over the girls are all gushing to each other about how hot the guy was and blah blah blah. I am keeping to myself trying not to show my true feelings for it. Then I hear those words that are going to make me go off on a rant about cinematography and plot direction. "So spinney what did you think of it?" oh god no. Someone help! I can feel it coming. and then boom! I start deconstructing some of the terrible shots and camera work that this movie had. I go on and on about how the special effects couldn't of been worse. I did however say some of it good points and say how I think I would of probably enjoyed the book and that this was just a poor adaptation.

You should of seen them turn against me. "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO CRITICAL OF STUFF" is the usual response I get. I don't really know why I am it just that I care so much for it. I think this is something alot of nerds feel. Whether it be Video games, music, comics, anything. Nerds feel like its their job almost to tell people how they feel about what they love.

So my question to you is are you hated by your non-nerd friends for being opinionated?

[dolson]

So my question to you is are you hated by your non-nerd friends for being opinionated?

No, but I am hated by my non-nerd friends for being right.

[jay_ray]

No, but I am hated by my non-nerd friends for being right.

Really, I'm hated by my nerd friends for being right, the non nerdy ones just kinda tone me out.

On topic, I answer honestly around friends who can handle my opinion (better known as the truth) or strangers (since I usually won't have to deal with them later). In your situation I'd probably of shrugged and said it wasn't horrible without commenting on the direction, acting, cinematography, etc.

[wakuseibaka]

My friends pretty much hate my opinionatedness. We'll be having Heroes night and they'll be totally enthralled by something and I'll be laughing my ass off and someone punches me in the arm.

I try not to call people stupid for their opinions and be open. There's at least one friend I know that there's pretty much no use arguing over something because he's fucking stubborn and insists he's always right.. Actually he's an asshole. Not much of a friend. Gah, I can go on forever about that guy.

After watching so much TRS and listening to so much /Filmcast I can express my feelings towards these things much better and my friends are starting to hate that. But it also means my arguments are better than theirs.

[virux280]

Yes, My friends use to dub me the Movie Guy because of the amount of films I've seen and they would listen to my opinions on certain titles. Wasn't until the day 1408 came out I really enjoyed that movie i thought it was at least a decent film the only reason why I would see people hating is that its not really a horror movie. Anyways long story short I've lost my title because I recommend a movie which apparently everyone hated and now I constantly get into heated debates... eh it was nice when it lasted.

[hepcat]

after suffering through the abortion that was Transformers and railing about it for weeks thereafter, one of my usual movie going friends "suspended" me from going to any movies with him. though he gave up after no one else wanted to see Zack and Miri.

I guess it is a matter of how you express your opinions, I've found that you have to pick your spots and gauge their reactions to know how thick to lay it on.

[forbizzle]

Then I hear those words that are going to make me go off on a rant about cinematography and plot direction. "So spinney what did you think of it?" oh god no.That's not exactly an invitation to shit all over their experience. Obviously they really liked it, and the tactful thing to do would be to gloss over the fact you didn't. Not make them all feel like idiots for enjoying a piece of crap.

People are looking for you to validate their opinion; and while you may not have to do that for everyone (see wife), you can at least try to avoid completely invalidating it. It's always nice to start with general statement leaning towards dislike, and if you don't feel any traction just drop it. If people are receptive, you can find an audience that's willing at least to have a conversation without getting offended.

[comhcinc]

That's not exactly an invitation to shit all over their experience. Obviously they really liked it, and the tactful thing to do would be to gloss over the fact you didn't. Not make them all feel like idiots for enjoying a piece of crap.

People are looking for you to validate their opinion; and while you may not have to do that for everyone (see wife), you can at least try to avoid completely invalidating it. It's always nice to start with general statement leaning towards dislike, and if you don't feel any traction just drop it. If people are receptive, you can find an audience that's willing at least to have a conversation without getting offended.

I couldn't agree more. my friend spinney you will never make it in the movie business if you can't understand why twilight is a great movie.

people don't care if something is "badly shot" and the "camera work". this movie made over 70 million it's first weekend, close to double it's budget of 37 million(which might explain the "horrible" special effects) this movie is a success. your friends liked this movie, it is easy to see that they didn't care about the "camera work". did you think by you were going to somehow change their mind?

i work in music and listen to things you have never heard of, but i would love to work on a brittany spears album. why? do i like her music? no, because almost everyone else in the world likes her. the people who make her albums do their job well, just like the people who made this movie did their job well.

[brodel]

If they my opinion and I didn't like it I normally respond with I didn't like it. If they then start digging asking why then I'll start breaking it down.

I don't try to ruin the experience for others, but if I respond with I didn't really like the movie and you dig trying to find out why, don't get all offended when I tear into the movie. I was going to leave it alone.. you asked...

[spinney]

Yea I guess I gotta work on self control a little bit.



Its just so hard =(

[nycest]

I think it's a matter of how you state your opinion, like others have said above me. I know people who come off as insulting when trying to defend their point, but it's hard to let others see your point of view when you're trashing their own.

And for me, I'm not a film student but I feel movies can be taken the way music is. It's subjective, you can't tell someone they're wrong for disliking/liking a movie. Just like you can't tell someone that what they listen to is crap. Everyone interprets things differently, and just cause something is high budget doesn't make it any less than something that's "indie". I hate when people try to say that I don't "Know" music because I may like a song that's on the radio. So what? Not every song has to be some obscure new fresh take on rock/rap with ambiguous lyrics from a band/artist that is not on a major label and is only known to hipsters who rally against the mainstream and wave pitchforks at radio stations! Just like not every movie has to be dissected and disliked for its individual parts, it can be but only after the movie has been judged as a whole (at least I think). I mean, I can't hate on a movie JUST because the effects were bad. If I disliked the movie to begin with, then I'll state my reasons which may or may not include such points.

[spinney]

Just like you can't tell someone that what they listen to is crap. Everyone interprets things differently, and just cause something is high budget doesn't make it any less than something that's "indie". I hate when people try to say that I don't "Know" music because I may like a song that's on the radio. So what? Not every song has to be some obscure new fresh take on rock/rap with ambiguous lyrics from a band/artist that is not on a major label and is only known to hipsters who rally against the mainstream and wave pitchforks at radio stations! Just like not every movie has to be dissected and disliked for its individual parts, it can be but only after the movie has been judged as a whole (at least I think). I mean, I can't hate on a movie JUST because the effects were bad. If I disliked the movie to begin with, then I'll state my reasons which may or may not include such points.

This actually really helped me alot cause I get dragged into the that mind set alot. The whole if its popular it sucks kinda way of thinking. It is a kinda immature way of thinking and something I need to grow out of. Im only 17 so I have time. =)

[-jedibitch-]

You should have seen it coming.

Obviously these girls are not looking at movies the same way you do. Why bother go on about things that they really don't care to know?

Better answer "I can see why you like it, its just not my kind of movie".


But different people react differently to others opinions. The people I go see movies with tend not to react that way (which is excellent). When you are in a situation with people that you know won't hate on you for you opinions, then share. Otherwise, just don't bother.

[esophagus]

Standard responses:
"It wasn't really my bag"
"It had it's merits"
"Not my favorite"
"I can see why you liked it"

Save your high-and-mighty film deconstruction for a review. Your friends who loved a movie don't care why you think they're idiots for enjoying it (or at least that's the way it will come across to them). At least I know that's the way mine feel. So I keep it short and simple with a few of the standard responses. I know a few people that are willing to argue these things with me, so I do, but I still don't tear the movie apart. If a person enjoys a movie it is just best to let them.

[gonzooo]

No, my friends don't seem to have a problem with me being critical of things. I'll state my opinion and try to structure it so that they don't have to feel like they're wrong and I'm right. Weirdly, when you just tell people what you think of something, they'll assume you mean that's the truth and everything else is wrong.

I think the best way to start off is with your general thoughts about the movie. Keeping it broad, people can choose to hear your detailed explanation of why or just leave it.

If I think "Star Wars: A new hope" (and the whole series, to some extent) is somewhat overrated, I'll start with that.

If people ask me why I'll tell them I think most of the acting is sub-par, the immediate story is very weak in some places and the only thing that really lives up to the name is the score.

The idea is to start very broadly and zoom in if someone asks for details or if you feel they'll take what you have to say about the movie as well as they should.

[d0ug18]

I understand how you feel. If you see a bad movie while everyone else thinks it's good sucks. (I usually try to see bad movies with people who also think they are bad ie: Cheesy Action flicks)

But, like most people are saying, it's best to keep a cool head about it all and not openly try and rain on anyone parade. I got reminded of this when "The Women" trailers were being played on TV a lot. I openly said how I don't think that the movie is going to be good and made fun of it. I made the mistake though of doing this in front of my mom enough times that it started to irritate her.

Overall I think you just need to pick your Nerd Battles/Critiques wisely and know that some people can take it and some people can't.