Superuseless Superpowers

[nshady]

http://superuseless.blogspot.com/

Awesome idea. How about we try and come up with some of our own? My idea: the jerk. You don't want to get this guy angry. When enraged, he becomes The Jerk, and goes around being a bit of a dick to everyone. He doesn't like your haircut, and will tell you to your face.

[pl8to]

Great blog! I'd go with the ability to detect exactly how many calories are in pieces of cake. His kryptonite is guilt.

[masherscf]

http://superuseless.blogspot.com/

Awesome idea. How about we try and come up with some of our own? My idea: the jerk. You don't want to get this guy angry. When enraged, he becomes The Jerk, and goes around being a bit of a dick to everyone. He doesn't like your haircut, and will tell you to your face.

He doesn't post here? Does he?

[stubadub]

My own super power is the ability to tell milk is souring a day or two before anyone else. I can go into Superman's apartment, try his milk, and not tell him he'll be drinking bad milk tomorrow. Tee-hee!

[heyseuss]

I repel all manner of womens !!!!!!

[lavahot]

I repel all manner of womens !!!!!!

You too? Wondertwin powers: ACTIVATE!!!

[heyseuss]

You too? Wondertwin powers: ACTIVATE!!!

I don't know if you know what I meant by repel. I tie a rope to their heads then absail down their bodies.

Good to see you around here again though Tay.

[nshady]

Pity it's spelt 'rappel', but who am I to let fact get in the way of a good OH SNAP?

[th3-space-pope]

That site reminded me of this.

Pz4f_e02RFM

[joeyrock]

Haha those are pretty funny. What else could you have..

- The power to statically repel airborne dust.
- Knowledge of every man's circumcised/not circumcised status.
- The power to disinfect hobo underwear with your teeth
- X-Ray vision, but you can only see through lead.
- Super fast knitting of cat socks
- The ability to solve a rubicks cube underwater... only underwater
- The power of forward moonwalking
- The power of instant love and sexual attraction... it works on a woman when she sucks
puss out of a boil/hump which grows on your scrotum on every 2nd Thursday of the month.
- The power to clean the inside of disinfectant bottles with your mind!
- The power to pause time for 7 seconds when you hit R.E.M sleep.
- The power to control woodlice and make them do your bidding.. up to a maximum of 5 at any one time.
- The power to make batteries in watches to last 30% longer while they are on your wrist.

There is another TV show which did this actually... called, the wrong door. They had a whole series of sketches (skits) with crap superheroes

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%22the+wrong+door%22+superher o&search_type=&aq=f

Tempus was my favourite. :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUJ4oO9BAqI

[gglynn00]

- The power to make batteries in watches to last 30% longer while they are on your wrist.



I actually have the inverse of this power. For some reason, my body fries digital watches. My Dad has this "power" as well. I just figure it has something to do w/ eletro-rythms in my body or something.

[joeyrock]

I actually have the inverse of this power. For some reason, my body fries digital watches. My Dad has this "power" as well. I just figure it has something to do w/ eletro-rythms in my body or something.

Really? That's weird. Sure you aren't imagining it? Does the human body even have a electromagnetic field..? if it does than it can't be very strong.

[heyseuss]

Pity it's spelt 'rappel', but who am I to let fact get in the way of a good OH SNAP?

Pity* it's spelled, 'spelled'.

Kinda takes the fun out of the joke when you explain it tho Nick. I should hire you to do my stage act with me, for when performing to a 'slow' crowd.

I was raised in Japan, Europe, Australia and Amorica. . . .it's lucky I can spell anything.


*Hey, you know how when a woman lies on her back her breast kind of slides to the side into her arm pit?.... yeah, it's a pittie.

[az0madman]

Haha, that site is awesome. Here's some I thought of.

There's the power of being faster than a speeding bullet, but only when on a treadmill.

And then there's the ability to breath under-boiling-water.

[damnedeyez]

Immortality at Absolute Zero.

[gglynn00]

Really? That's weird. Sure you aren't imagining it? Does the human body even have a electromagnetic field..? if it does than it can't be very strong.

I swear!!! I can fry a digital watch in no time.

I remember seeing something on Diggnation or Digg (I think) about a kid that could fry computers by touching them. That could have just been a prank though.

[baldmonkey]

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/77/111788-55360-cypher_large.jpg

just saying...

[nshady]

Pity* it's spelled, 'spelled'.

Kinda takes the fun out of the joke when you explain it tho Nick. I should hire you to do my stage act with me, for when performing to a 'slow' crowd.

I was raised in Japan, Europe, Australia and Amorica. . . .it's lucky I can spell anything.


*Hey, you know how when a woman lies on her back her breast kind of slides to the side into her arm pit?.... yeah, it's a pittie.

Pity you don't know that you can spell it 'spelt'. :P http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/spelt[2]

[murphy1d]

Oooh..I can finally reveal my ability to induce others to use non-words like Flustrated and limesided... oh yeah, and bastarcize.

[heyseuss]

oh yeah, and bastarcize.

Is that when bastards exercise ?

[gglynn00]

Is that when bastards exercise ?

It's Jazzercise for Bastards.

[masherscf]

How about the ability to recall the most trivial facts in the most minute detail as long as the facts are completely irrelevant.

[gglynn00]

How about the ability to recall the most trivial facts in the most minute detail as long as the facts are completely irrelevant.

Wait!!! I have that power...It's not useless. What are you trying to say?:D

[tokenuser]

Superhuman vision - but only out the corner of your eye.
Precognitive Deja viewer - the ability to sense that you've seen something before, before it happens.

[masherscf]

Precognitive Deja viewer - the ability to sense that you've seen something before, before it happens.

I like the ability to sense if nothing like this as ever happened before.

[tokenuser]

I like the ability to sense if nothing like this as ever happened before.Hmmmm. I had the sense yesterday.

[damnedeyez]

Superhuman vision - but only out the corner of your eye.
Precognitive Deja viewer - the ability to sense that you've seen something before, before it happens.

I've...done that. Or, at least, thought I had.

[masherscf]

The ability to appear absolutely beautiful with the lights off.

[murphy1d]

How about the ability to recall the most trivial facts in the most minute detail as long as the facts are completely irrelevant.

The term "Devil's Advocate" (also known as Promoter of the Faith) comes from the process of appointing a Cardinal or other to rebuke a candidate for canonization so that the other members of the convocation can review contrary arguments without having to look like a dissenter.

Wait...I think I may have tipped my hat.

[jonsushi]

I've got one but I didn't make it up.

His name is Arm Fall Off Boy.

He can "remove his limbs and use [them] as clubs".

Here's a bio with pics for him:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arm_Fall_Off_Boy


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6f/Armfalloffboy.jpg


Actually it's really not that useless. More like just really really dumb.

[nshady]

The term "Devil's Advocate" (also known as Promoter of the Faith) comes from the process of appointing a Cardinal or other to rebuke a candidate for canonization so that the other members of the convocation can review contrary arguments without having to look like a dissenter.

Wait...I think I may have tipped my hat.

NOOOO... that, as an example of your ability, is relevant to the topic!