I wrote a story for uni and made a website and here it is

[nshady]

So my course's final project could be about anything so long as it was 'thematically relevant' to the subjects we'd covered, and in any format. I decided to write a short story that touched on censorship and dictatorship etc. When the course coordinator realised that it would be impossible to mark a short story, she wanted me to make it into a blog. I thought 'uh....', and negotiated with my tutor to instead make a website to house the story.

And then I decided to try Squarespace. It was pretty good. It's not as flexible as they lead you to believe - the templates are mostly just for blog-style sites, but as someone who knows only the most basic text-related HTML, I think it turned out pretty nicely:

http://theconsequences.squarespace.com

So go ahead and visit if you feel like killing a few minutes.

[heyseuss]

Without reading it, I just wanna wish you good luck Nick, 'cus you're a cool dude.

[nshady]

Awww, thanks Seussy!

[heyseuss]

Awww, thanks Seussy!

You're a good sort, respect and best wishes to ya Schadey.














...even if you live in Adelaide.

[dh_jin]

i'll have a read soon! congrats finishing your project :P

[dolson]

In 'The Consequences', I attempted to craft an alternate reality where the government was steadily eroding its citizens' rights to privacy, free speech, and was actively censoring them in quite scarily dangerous ways.

Alternate reality?

[a_r_h]

Are you looking for a public critique of the story or are you just sharing? I assume the latter as it's already been submitted.

[nshady]

Yeah, just sharing mostly - as you said it's already submitted. Feedback is welcome though.

[a_r_h]

As a sort of generalized criticism, I feel like the story is never specific enough with regards to the father's actions or the actions taken by the government for it to be considered an "anti-censorship" piece. This could just as easily have been about a social deviant / terrorist as it could have been about this bleeding-heart idealogue.

Short stories are really difficult to write in that there isn't a great deal of room for exposition. To be sure, exposition in and of itself isn't a bad thing. However, when there are trivial moments that are over-developed and critical, thematic moments that are drastically underdeveloped, a problem arises.


Why am I still a guest?

[rabidbadger]

Cool. Will read it. Looks Very Nice.

[nshady]

As a sort of generalized criticism, I feel like the story is never specific enough with regards to the father's actions or the actions taken by the government for it to be considered an "anti-censorship" piece. This could just as easily have been about a social deviant / terrorist as it could have been about this bleeding-heart idealogue.

Short stories are really difficult to write in that there isn't a great deal of room for exposition. To be sure, exposition in and of itself isn't a bad thing. However, when there are trivial moments that are over-developed and critical, thematic moments that are drastically underdeveloped, a problem arises.

Thanks for the comments.

I see where you're coming from, but I suppose I was approaching the story from a 'road to Big Brother' style perspective, where over a course of years the government becomes more and more overbearing. Eventually, it doesn't even matter what the dad was or wasn't doing, because the government had the power to do whatever it wants. I didn't want to get bogged down in legislation or long-winded exposition about some new development (I was 500 words over as it was). I wanted to focus more on the emotional effect it was having on the characters.

I sometimes find it pretty frustrating when it's all spelled out to you. I like to leave a little up to the reader to think about and read into how they want to. Maybe they were just terrorists. Maybe Luke made the first brave decision of his life at the end, or maybe it was the most tragic in a long line of concessions. I let a few things sit implicitly - if Luke refused the 'rehabilitation', what would have happened? What happened to his father, really? How far would the government go? etc.

Thanks for reading.