in pain

[rabidbadger]

wanna die. Yeah, a cry for help, but where else I gonna go?

[guytheninja]

Do what? Are you in physical pain like chest pain?

[ryudo]

Rabid old buddy.

Take a year to yourself and just reach out to people even ones you never would have thought in a million years would be talking to.
Try new things ..take a shit load of new risks.
Don't give the I'm to old speach either,I know some people that did the same and you could be thier own kid.

I did this in 2008 and WOW it made a huge impact on my life and learn things about yourself even you didn't know.

Getting out of the routine and comfort zone/hermit shell is hard than legless turtle getting out of a puddle of molasses I know but you can do it and feel better in the long run.

This all sounds so general/vague but really it can be times as simple as trying new things or RE trying old things you once hated.

[rabidbadger]

both physical and mental. Back pain. can barely move, Mental can barely think. Thank you guys.

[tokenuser]

both physical and mental. Back pain. can barely move, Mental can barely think. Thank you guys.I feel your pain ... on both fronts. I popped a rib Friday morning, picking up and pouring water from a 1gal jug for the coffee maker. It crippled me. I managed to see my chiro who saw the issue right away and mostly got things back. I am normally OK when I go see the chiro, but this time I had tears of pain as he was getting things back in place. Wife says I came out looking white. But, he (mostly) did the trick and it was far less painful by late afternoon. I have another treatment in the AM.

If you can find a sports medicine doctor (ie a chiro that isn't a newage holistic quake), they can often provide the best relief from back pain you'll ever find.

[kzap]

wanna die. Yeah, a cry for help, but where else I gonna go?
You made the right call buddy, first place to go when in pain is the Revision3 forums, then the local curry house, then the doctors.
I have back pain all the time but that's because I'm freakishly tall and don't excursive (yet, I'm not fat :confused:).

[ariastar]

Honey, you've got to find a solution to her being there and invading your space. Sell your stake in the house and move somewhere else. I can't imagine anyone being happy in your position, instead feeling trapped and suffocated. What you are feeling right now is 100% completely understandable. If my own mom moved in with us and I had no say...I'd kill someone. I mean it. Either her or myself. And you're having to live this nightmare.

Please give consideration to moving out here. Well, Santa Barbara. We'll be there. Or come to San Francisco. Emeryville is very close, and you can put your skills to great use there.

You need a change from where you are and to break away from what you are going through. Staying there is only going to get harder and harder.

[gonzooo]

*Hugs*

[kzap]

Honey, you've got to find a solution to her being there and invading your space. Sell your stake in the house and move somewhere else. I can't imagine anyone being happy in your position, instead feeling trapped and suffocated. What you are feeling right now is 100% completely understandable. If my own mom moved in with us and I had no say...I'd kill someone. I mean it. Either her or myself. And you're having to live this nightmare.

Please give consideration to moving out here. Well, Santa Barbara. We'll be there. Or come to San Francisco. Emeryville is very close, and you can put your skills to great use there.

You need a change from where you are and to break away from what you are going through. Staying there is only going to get harder and harder.
Ah, so there's back story to this.
Well I live with my family (at least 60% of the time) but I think I'm a tad younger than you.
I'm sure you can set-up boundaries.
I know I'm not helping I think I'll stop typing now,

[phatlip]

Ah, so there's back story to this.
Well I live with my family (at least 60% of the time) but I think I'm a tad younger than you.
I'm sure you can set-up boundaries.
I know I'm not helping I think I'll stop typing now,

He's a grown man dude. Old enough to be our father.

;)

[a_r_h]

He's a grown man dude. Old enough to be our father.

;)

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r44/ktshep/DarthVaderbeckoning.jpg?t=1244573035

[kzap]

He's a grown man dude. Old enough to be our father.

;)
That can't be fair, at that age you need your own space.

[kzap]

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r44/ktshep/DarthVaderbeckoning.jpg?t=1244573035

Exactly Vader would not be living with his mama and papa.

[ariastar]

kzap, Joel's not old enough to be my father, but at my age (28) space is definitely needed. Hell, I can't even be around Cody 24/7 every day without going nuts at some point.

Joel's not going to live with his mom. His mom's moving into the house, and he has no legal backing to tell her no. It's a frustrating situation when living with a mom who treats you like a kid. I can personally tolerate my mom for about three hours, max, because her own "I know more than you because I'm your mother" mentality drives me up the wall. (Being the mother doesn't mean one knows more, and believe me, my mom doesn't know more.)

So now Joel's going to be stifled, and I feel horrible because it's a tough spot to be in. I'm hoping he looks into work out here and moves closer to us.

[kzap]

kzap, Joel's not old enough to be my father, but at my age (28) space is definitely needed. Hell, I can't even be around Cody 24/7 every day without going nuts at some point.

Joel's not going to live with his mom. His mom's moving into the house, and he has no legal backing to tell her no. It's a frustrating situation when living with a mom who treats you like a kid. I can personally tolerate my mom for about three hours, max, because her own "I know more than you because I'm your mother" mentality drives me up the wall. (Being the mother doesn't mean one knows more, and believe me, my mom doesn't know more.).
Arg! All I can do is sympathize, I'm sure there can be some kind of legal action you can take.
I wouldn't be able to take it. Why can't he tell her no, even if he's not legally stopping her, I'm sure she would want to live in a house with someone who doesn't want her there.
Also trying to look at it from the other perceptive here, why is his mum moving back in with him, if she has no where else to go an it's only temporary, as much as I would hate it I wouldn't kick her out.

[tokenuser]

@kzap - let the adults vent.

Times are tough, and sometimes you need to make personal sacrifices. I couldn't live with my mother (and my stepfather would drive me mad within a week), and my in-laws are out as well. Love em all, but couldn't live with them.

Well, OK ... I might be able to live with my mother for a couple of days ... provided we got a roast leg of lamb every night. Is it bad that I miss food from home more than family?

Not that anyone cares, but two trips to the chiro and everythng is slipping back in place. Doesn't hurt to breath anymore. My headaches are just beginning. Our house still hasn't sold - despite lots of interest - which means we have no money to buy new house for when we move in a months time. So, this weekend we are driving 750miles to Urbana to look at apartments, and moving from a 3200sqft house with 2 car garage, and a nice screened porch, to a 1100-1400 sqft 2-3bd apartment, with no garage. I work from home, and the thought of being cooped up with all our furniture (plus what we have to put in storage) in an apartment is depressing. Carrying a mortgage (only 4.5years to go) plus utilities on our current home, while renting plus the utilities in another place, is going to stretch our finances to breaking point ... and lets just say that its not exactly leading to marital bliss.

[rabidbadger]

Aria. You*know I love you. But please keep what we talk about privately on chat private.

But it's out now, so I'll talk a bit about it.

Both Mom and Me got laid off recently, We both can't afford to live independently, and she is closing in on retirement age. (kzap, for your info, I'm 45 yo). There is no other family except a brother in Missouri. (I'm in NY)

I hate this happening, and it adds to other "first world" issues I got going on. I just got diagnosed with a lesser form of bipolar/depression combo, and though I love my local friends, and they love me, they are young couples with new kids, and I don't wanna bug them with my issues any more than I have to.

On top of all that, I'm broke, my harddrive just died, and I'm using a 12 year old laptop that can't even load xtube vids.

also. Been suicidal. Luckily, I got a great shrink. And some friggen amazing online friends who have saved me more than a few times. Which is why the dead computer hurts more than a phyisical dead box of silicon should.

Oh, and severe imobilizing back pain from an old incurable injury don't help either.

[rabidbadger]

Er, I meant YOUTUBE, I swear. YOUTUBE, not xtube. I don't even know what xtube IS!








(yeah, still trying to keep my sense of humor) ;)

[gta_bmx]

@kzap - let the adults vent.

Times are tough, and sometimes you need to make personal sacrifices. I couldn't live with my mother (and my stepfather would drive me mad within a week), and my in-laws are out as well. Love em all, but couldn't live with them.

Well, OK ... I might be able to live with my mother for a couple of days ... provided we got a roast leg of lamb every night. Is it bad that I miss food from home more than family?

Not that anyone cares, but two trips to the chiro and everythng is slipping back in place. Doesn't hurt to breath anymore. My headaches are just beginning. Our house still hasn't sold - despite lots of interest - which means we have no money to buy new house for when we move in a months time. So, this weekend we are driving 750miles to Urbana to look at apartments, and moving from a 3200sqft house with 2 car garage, and a nice screened porch, to a 1100-1400 sqft 2-3bd apartment, with no garage. I work from home, and the thought of being cooped up with all our furniture (plus what we have to put in storage) in an apartment is depressing. Carrying a mortgage (only 4.5years to go) plus utilities on our current home, while renting plus the utilities in another place, is going to stretch our finances to breaking point ... and lets just say that its not exactly leading to marital bliss.

Can you rent your old place out for a while to someone? Even if you don't get in rent what it's worth (down market), at least something will be better than nothing. Can always do like a 6 month lease in case they turn out to be a__holes. Might be able to find a renter who's a professional type. And then carry a ton of insurance on the house in case they decide to throw bowling balls into the walls. There's gotta be a some Web 2.0 website for finding quality people to rent to.

[gta_bmx]

Which is why the dead computer hurts more than a phyisical dead box of silicon should.

That sucks. No PC?!? That's a tough one, and I'm not trying to be facetious. I'd go on Craigslist and find a $30 PC of sorts -- even a circa 2003 AMD Athlon 1.5 gigahertz single core based system with like a 40 gig HD & 512 mb RAM and then put Win 7 Ultimate RC on it or Ubuntu 9.04 aka "Jaunty Jackalope".

We need to set-up a PC fund for Rabidbadger. Get him geared up.

[rabidbadger]

@kzap - let the adults vent.

Times are tough, and sometimes you need to make personal sacrifices. I couldn't live with my mother (and my stepfather would drive me mad within a week), and my in-laws are out as well. Love em all, but couldn't live with them.

Well, OK ... I might be able to live with my mother for a couple of days ... provided we got a roast leg of lamb every night. Is it bad that I miss food from home more than family?

Not that anyone cares, but two trips to the chiro and everythng is slipping back in place. Doesn't hurt to breath anymore. My headaches are just beginning. Our house still hasn't sold - despite lots of interest - which means we have no money to buy new house for when we move in a months time. So, this weekend we are driving 750miles to Urbana to look at apartments, and moving from a 3200sqft house with 2 car garage, and a nice screened porch, to a 1100-1400 sqft 2-3bd apartment, with no garage. I work from home, and the thought of being cooped up with all our furniture (plus what we have to put in storage) in an apartment is depressing. Carrying a mortgage (only 4.5years to go) plus utilities on our current home, while renting plus the utilities in another place, is going to stretch our finances to breaking point ... and lets just say that its not exactly leading to marital bliss.

damn, dude.

Maybe mods should just rename this thread "old fart rant, and advice for the yunguns" or something.

[rabidbadger]

That sucks. No PC?!? That's a tough one, and I'm not trying to be facetious. I'd go on Craigslist and find a $30 PC of sorts -- even a circa 2003 AMD Athlon 1.5 gigahertz single core based system with like a 40 gig HD & 512 mb RAM and then put Win 7 Ultimate RC on it or Ubuntu 9.04 aka "Jaunty Jackalope".

We need to set-up a PC fund for Rabidbadger. Get him geared up.

Very thoughtful of ya, but this ancient ibook is a friggen workhorse as far as forums/chat/twitter, etc.

I just talked to a friend about a job, so I'll get my iMac fixed soonish. But really, nice sentiment man. Thanks. That's why I come to these forums Hell or High Water. Met the BEST people ever here.

[ariastar]

You mentioned your mom here a couple times, about moving in. I wasn't going to say anything more about the why or anything because I don't remember you saying that.

[heyseuss]

I have a Russian ex-model coming on Sat to check the place out to move in. I've not paid my gas bill since September !!! Phone company won't let me go 4 days past due. Gas company rocks.

[rabidbadger]

no prob. Love you babe. I most prob have shoulda mentioned that myself, anyway, because that is my real issue. Has been for a year. Beyond my control, And too late to change it now. BUT I might have a job or two now, so things can change. I'm trying to be opimistic. Heavy sigh.

[heyseuss]

Can you rent your old place out for a while to someone?

Exactly. 4.5 years Token ? Rent it out. The pain in the ass of doing so will probbly be worth it, especially for the next year or 2 before recovery and values start to rise.

[rabidbadger]

I have a Russian ex-model coming on Sat to check the place out to move in. I've not paid my gas bill since September !!! Phone company won't let me go 4 days past due. Gas company rocks.

Money sucks. Russian ex models don't. :D

Unless they do, which also doesn't suck, unless they do, ... /infinite loop, if that's possible. :o

/geeksex humor.

[ariastar]

@kzap - let the adults vent.

Times are tough, and sometimes you need to make personal sacrifices. I couldn't live with my mother (and my stepfather would drive me mad within a week), and my in-laws are out as well. Love em all, but couldn't live with them.

Well, OK ... I might be able to live with my mother for a couple of days ... provided we got a roast leg of lamb every night. Is it bad that I miss food from home more than family?

Not that anyone cares, but two trips to the chiro and everythng is slipping back in place. Doesn't hurt to breath anymore. My headaches are just beginning. Our house still hasn't sold - despite lots of interest - which means we have no money to buy new house for when we move in a months time. So, this weekend we are driving 750miles to Urbana to look at apartments, and moving from a 3200sqft house with 2 car garage, and a nice screened porch, to a 1100-1400 sqft 2-3bd apartment, with no garage. I work from home, and the thought of being cooped up with all our furniture (plus what we have to put in storage) in an apartment is depressing. Carrying a mortgage (only 4.5years to go) plus utilities on our current home, while renting plus the utilities in another place, is going to stretch our finances to breaking point ... and lets just say that its not exactly leading to marital bliss.

Ain't sacrificing the truth. After I got laid off last year, it was hell. There was a lot we had to do without, and times where pretty much all our meals were ramen. To get back to a state of financial independence meant moving into a tiny apartment with about 3/4 of our stuff still unpacked. At least we do have a garage (shared, but still) to store stuff in. It makes sewing very hard as there isn't space (yet it's my money-maker). The closet is storage for what can't be downstairs, and that leaves the dresser, which isn't enough space to store our clothes. It's hard to keep a place clean when there isn't a place for everything. In our other apartment, much larger, there was adequate space, more than. Not here. It is VERY depressing to feel cooped up. This is the position I'm in, and it's been very hard on me, and yeah, bliss it ain't. I know we're lucky to have a home, but that doesn't make it much easier. Things may finally look up in a bit for us.

But that doesn't mean there are more jobs. Lay-offs and job losses slowing is only a small positive. As long as there are far more workers than jobs, even those who are employed are less likely to see raises while costs of everything else goes up. Our sales tax was just hiked another full percent, and there's talk about raising the state income tax, among other things. We're not likely to see tax refunds for this year at all. It's not even on the table. We've overpaid, and won't get it back. Instead it's more we have to pay.

It's sad that Cody and I are considered to be doing very well. We're living the modern American Dream of at least being paycheck to paycheck.

These days, you gotta do what you gotta do to get by.

[heyseuss]

Money sucks. Russian ex models don't. :D

Unless they do, which also doesn't suck, unless they do, ... /infinite loop, if that's possible. :o

/geeksex humor.

Funny irony - she fixes ppl's credit for a living. Was a model, but wanted more stability and has owned her own credit management company for 8 years.

Wouldn't, ..well.. most likely wouldn't fool around with a roommate, besides, my neighbour sucks. Her accent is hot though. A year younger than me, so, too young.

[ariastar]

A year younger than me, so, too young.

A year younger is too young? Oops. Cody is 1 year 364 days younger than me. :)

[rabidbadger]

A year younger is too young? Oops. Cody is 1 year 364 days younger than me. :)


Cradle robber!

[tokenuser]

Can you rent your old place out for a while to someone? Even if you don't get in rent what it's worth (down market), at least something will be better than nothing. Can always do like a 6 month lease in case they turn out to be a__holes. Might be able to find a renter who's a professional type. And then carry a ton of insurance on the house in case they decide to throw bowling balls into the walls. There's gotta be a some Web 2.0 website for finding quality people to rent to.(Sorry for threadjack Badger)

Problem is we need the money from the house to buy or build a new one. Pretty much all our money is tied up in the house - as foreigners, it is the only retirement investment we can make that allows us some flexability if we move home (Australia). And, given the stock/investment market, that has been a very good call ... we have been lucky in realestate, and managed to trade up, but it is pretty much everything we own.

If we are renting, we cant sell. It *should* sell over the summer, but that is too late for us to do a smooth transition from one house to another, and we will need to rent for an interim period of 6 months to a year.

We are better off than most people, and apart from the house carry no debt (even our credit cards are paid off monthly) - but maintaining dual residences is going to stretch us very thin ... and I am not a fan of Ramen.

[tokenuser]

Oh, and severe imobilizing back pain from an old incurable injury don't help either.Have you tried a chiropractor? Is there a good sports medicine chiro in town you might be able to visit?

I screwed my back up severely in my parachuting accident, and the long term effects keep hitting me. The only relief I get is from the chiro. I'll be seeing him again on Thursday to finish getting my popped rib taken care of. Without those treatments ($65 initial visit, $36 for subsequent ... cash, not claiming on insurance since their copay on these visits is $40) I'd still be lying on the floor in the fetal position whimpering like a baby.

[rabidbadger]

(you can forgive the thread hijack by sending me the Aussie Music CD you promised, what? HALF A YEAR AGO??) Don't make me listen to Barenaked Ladies any more!

As far as my back pain is concerned, it's neither spinal nor muscular. It's a ripped tendon. All I gotta do is turn oddly in my sleep and I'm almost paralyzed. Bones can be re-aligned or re-fused, muscle grows back together. Tendon rips are forever. :(

All I can do is do some stretches, alternate sitting and walking for a few days, then it goes back normal. Muscle relaxants don't hurt, but only kinda help me sleep.

[heyseuss]

A year younger is too young? Oops. Cody is 1 year 364 days younger than me. :)


My current is 47. Whom which, I will be with in 5 mins - I only came hme to et my tootchbrush.

[rabidbadger]

My current is 47. Whom which, I will be with in 5 mins - I only came hme to et my tootchbrush.

And obvioulsy to finish your rum and coke. And to calibrate your spell checker. :D

[klitzy]

This thread makes me sad. All these troubles. Stressful to just read, can't imagine living it. Very glad to be a young lad in school right now.

[rabidbadger]

Ye Lucky bastroid. And I said "ye" and I meant it. /ancient-white-site-call-back.

[guytheninja]

Aria. You*know I love you. But please keep what we talk about privately on chat private.

But it's out now, so I'll talk a bit about it.

Both Mom and Me got laid off recently, We both can't afford to live independently, and she is closing in on retirement age. (kzap, for your info, I'm 45 yo). There is no other family except a brother in Missouri. (I'm in NY)

I hate this happening, and it adds to other "first world" issues I got going on. I just got diagnosed with a lesser form of bipolar/depression combo, and though I love my local friends, and they love me, they are young couples with new kids, and I don't wanna bug them with my issues any more than I have to.

On top of all that, I'm broke, my harddrive just died, and I'm using a 12 year old laptop that can't even load xtube vids.

also. Been suicidal. Luckily, I got a great shrink. And some friggen amazing online friends who have saved me more than a few times. Which is why the dead computer hurts more than a phyisical dead box of silicon should.

Oh, and severe imobilizing back pain from an old incurable injury don't help either.

We need to hook you up with a lucrative career in blues music right now! No one can argue with your street cred.
(just trying to lighten the mood man, lighten the mood!) :D

On a more serious note, don't worry about it. Good times may be just around the corner!

[rabidbadger]

We need to hook you up with a lucrative career in blues music right now! No one can argue with your street cred.
(just trying to lighten the mood man, lighten the mood!) :D

On a more serious note, don't worry about it. Good times may be just around the corner!

Yeah, gotta drag out my harmonica from a box in the flooded basement first, though.

[ryudo]

I'm 85 in a 26 year old dudes body who looks 16.

I had no childhood really,been aching physically and mentally every day of my life and so much shit happen to me.

I got lucky finding mentors along the way but it was just last year I set out after losing my job (spent all of 2008 unemployed....was not easy..barely survived) now with a job still struggling but I did something in 2008,I went and mended bridges where my dad or the past me burned.

I opened up to oppurtunities that went against my very nature by trying things I never would have. Meeting people in places i would never have gone and I made so many new friends and surrounded myself with support.

So now while I struggle with money and my boss just out of the blue started treating me like shit and giving me almost no hours to work..somehow where I used to panic and freak out...I can keep a level head and work this out thanks to the support and things I learned in that personal year.

This is what I feel Rabid needs to do is set out.
So while maybe many of your problems will still be around,you can still stay level headed and even in a good mood in rough times and get through them easier esp if you surround yourself with more helpful people.

[frankiethewaffle]

wanna die. Yeah, a cry for help, but where else I gonna go?

You can come here badger. I get it all. I have been down, jobless. It was my fault though, I took chances on a career I have since abandoned. I understand the pain stuff too. My back, Knees, Hips, Shoulders and Neck ache every day. BELIEVE ME, I know how that can work on your patience and tolerance. It will break you down.

But I was lucky enough to land a job. It is not prestigious. It hurts to be honest. But, I am in the heaviest lifting area. Maybe too stubborn to give it up, I keep pushing myself. I hurt everyday again. But I am gaining back some muscle that I had when I felt great about myself.

That leads me to your injury. Those tendons. They may never totally heal, but work for a way to build the muscle around them. It helps a bunch, believe me. Ask me. I will help you find way.

As far as you and your Mother working lesser jobs and living together? That is not a weakness, that is strong Family. Nothing better Rabid. This is a hard time for too many people. Too hard to judge anyone for it.

Don't be weak and cut out. Be the man I think you are and surpass that hard time. I did, and I am a loser.