Calling all Flash fans...

[davegraham]

Can someone help a Marvel Zombie out? I remember a plot line from (I think) the late 90's where there was a replacement Flash for Wally. The replacement had the traditional costume design except his usually gold belt and ear-wings were silver. I remember his identity was kept a secret from the Justice League, but Superman knew who was under the mask. Did it ever get revealed to readers? I have been looking through wikipedia for about an hour and can't find anything on this guy.

[ronxo]

Can someone help a Marvel Zombie out? I remember a plot line from (I think) the late 90's where there was a replacement Flash for Wally. The replacement had the traditional costume design except his usually gold belt and ear-wings were silver. I remember his identity was kept a secret from the Justice League, but Superman knew who was under the mask. Did it ever get revealed to readers? I have been looking through wikipedia for about an hour and can't find anything on this guy.

Alternate timeline Wally West
more info:
http://www.hyperborea.org/flash/walter.html

[darron]

So that's the deal with that. One of the few issues of the Flash I own is number 150....'cause at the time, I just really liked that costume. I still do.


DC just can't stay away from alternate timelines/parallel universes, can they?

[davegraham]

Thanks, that was getting on my nerves. Alternate Wally? Lame. I always thought it was Barry Allen sent to the future to fill in for some time, only to be sent back in time to meet his fate, which is Jenkins/The Reurn-level lame. Ah well. Thanks again.

[fred]

If anyone hasn't been to the store yet and they're on the fence about the Flash, buy it. It was awesome.

[xyzzy]

Since the question has already been answered, I thought I'd take this opportunity to post my favorite Flash fan rant ever. Be warned, it's a bit vulgar.


Now, I don’t know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say “your taste in wine is atrocious”. He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red sun radiation from his ass. He’s that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.

Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fun master of not much, but instead he’s the hottest shit to ever shit on a plate. You got a power? He’ll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He’ll light you on fire when you’re sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of “**** you, Batman!” That’s Batman.

But the ****ing Flash, my god, my ****ING GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman’s powers are being sucked off by twin super-models and Batman’s are coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to ‘get in on’ then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that ****ing hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else’s job.

Ok first off, he can travel at lightspeed. Mother ****! Not only does he travel at lightspeed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he’s having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he’s already gotten to Arizona. That’s ****ing fast. But wait! The ability to move at Lightspeed just isn’t ****ing enough!

I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you’ve been hit five times in the cock and two times everywhere else. You think you’re about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he’s beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there’s more!

The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain’t no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at lightspeed would run into shit but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, ****er) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be “okay” afterwards or ****ING EXPLODE. That’s right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transfering kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. It’s bad enough you can’t hit this guy, but he doesn’t even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you’re thinking you’re about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He’s the ****ing Flash.

Now imagine that somehow there’s someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it’s going slow and then he’s like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it’s going at lightspeed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your nads with seven million rocks one after the other.

But wait! There’s more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don’t even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED = REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let’s say Flash is fighting Superman and shit he’s going to lose and **** how is Superman THIS ****ing strong? I don’t know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.
How do you beat this dude? You’re thinking you’re hashing him good, laying down the beatdown, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there’s a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn’t fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! **** you Flash! You moved the stairs to Soviet ****ing Russia! RUSH-A! *****.

Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn’t fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You’d think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his penis is moving at lightspeed but NOOOO he’s even good in bed.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak greasefire.

[masherscf]

Hey, I have no real comment about the flash. But, "xyzzy" is an awesome nickname. Welcome to Revision 3!

[iSteve]

If anyone hasn't been to the store yet and they're on the fence about the Flash, buy it. It was awesome.

Awesome? How about improved.

[jaflanagan]

Awesome? How about improved.

Nope, I think it was awesome.

[fred]

Nope, I think it was awesome.

I've got to stand with Josh on this one and against a Herald of Fred that's tough to do. I don't know what the book was before. Honestly, I'll probably never go back to any of the other stuff. That being said, Guggenheim's got me for as long as he does it.

[iSteve]

I've got to stand with Josh on this one and against a Herald of Fred that's tough to do. I don't know what the book was before. Honestly, I'll probably never go back to any of the other stuff. That being said, Guggenheim's got me for as long as he does it.

I'll look forward to what you, Josh and other have to say about it after the reviews come out. I'm anxious to know why you both thought it was awesome. It's not that I didn't like The Flash - I did. I thought it was much better than the last few issues. Guggenheim's definitely got a better grasp of the character. But I was still hoping for something a little bit better - something to get my blood racing. While it's not only my subscription list, I'll definitely pick up the next issue.

[watsonglenn]

Since the question has already been answered, I thought I'd take this opportunity to post my favorite Flash fan rant ever. Be warned, it's a bit vulgar.

Its also a bit hysterical, more than a bit.

[fred]

that was awesome

[xyzzy]

Hey, I have no real comment about the flash. But, "xyzzy" is an awesome nickname. Welcome to Revision 3!

Thanks! Moderately obscure video game references are my forte.

[masherscf]

Thanks! Moderately obscure video game references are my forte.

Not that obscure to anyone over the age of 30... I hope.


I never did finish that stupid game. It must be available online.

[xyzzy]

Not that obscure to anyone over the age of 30... I hope.

You'd be surprised how few people have played the classics.


I never did finish that stupid game. It must be available online.

It is. There are a bunch of links to different versions at the end of this article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colossal_Cave_Adventure).

[mikegraham6]

If anyone hasn't been to the store yet and they're on the fence about the Flash, buy it. It was awesome.

Great news, thats exactly why i wait until thursday to buy my books! its good to hear that the character is back on track

[lindseyd]

Oh my god, xyzzy, that was both hilarious and unrelenting.

I think I am fangirling you right now.

[darron]

Yea, Flash rocked. Exactly what I wanted it to be. Guggenheim even dropped a Young Justice reference! I'm hooked, at least for as long as he's the writer.

[xyzzy]

Oh my god, xyzzy, that was both hilarious and unrelenting.

I think I am fangirling you right now.

Wish I could take credit, but it's someone else's rant that I just saved because I thought it was a laugh riot.