View Full Version : Ask Tony
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:21 PM
Tony Stark, director of S.H.I.E.L.D. here.
I've been lurking these boards for the past few days and couldn't help but notice all of the misconceptions you people have about me and my new Initiative.
Let's dispell some myths and epic fantasies. I have some free time, and it's getting increasingly difficult sneaking girls onto the helicarrier. So, I'm opening myself up to you. Like a book. A very sexy adventure book. The kind that gets your sister all *H&B.
So, ask away. Ask me what it's like to be a superhero. Or rich. Or virile. Or an Avenger. Or your hero. Because I'm all of those things. Ask me about registration. Ask me about that list we made. Anything your little heart desires.
Just ask Tony.
*hot and bothered
mikegraham6
03-04-2007, 11:24 PM
Just how much red meat do you eat in a day????
Who had the biggest impact on making you the 'man' you are today?
Judas Iscariot, Adolf Hitler, or Dudley Moore's Arthur?
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:32 PM
Just how much red meat do you eat in a day????
I eat a great deal of "game hen."
My medical advisors regularly warn me of things like cardiovascular disease (lots of charts). If my heart does come into risk, I intend to build an additional armor suit over the current one.
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:32 PM
Who had the biggest impact on making you the 'man' you are today?
Judas Iscariot, Adolf Hitler, or Dudley Moore's Arthur?
Easy. Hitler.
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:34 PM
I've always wanted to fight him. Reed is working on a thing for that.
When I fight villains like, say, Kang or the Mandarin or Steve Rogers, I think of Hitler.
Would you consider yourself a fascist, a pragmatist, or just a selfish evil ****er?
mikegraham6
03-04-2007, 11:38 PM
This has been nagging at me.... what did you do to spidey to make him wear his black costume??? and was it something that is illegal in 13 of the 50 states???
mikegraham6
03-04-2007, 11:39 PM
Aunt May. Would you or wouldn't you?
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:39 PM
Would you consider yourself a fascist, a pragmatist, or just a selfish evil ****er?
Reed says "pragmatist" is the best way to go here.
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:41 PM
This has been nagging at me.... what did you do to spidey to make him wear his black costume??? and was it something that is illegal in 13 of the 50 states???
Villains generally wear black, don't they?
Reed says "pragmatist" is the best way to go here.
considering that this would be a stretch I'm not surprised to hear it came from Reed
yes I'm ashamed of that
mikegraham6
03-04-2007, 11:42 PM
this thread is just gonna be a mess, isn't it :rolleyes:
Mr. Stark, is it true that you bathe in the blood of children?
Is it also true that you get stray dogs drunk just to drink their urine and recycle the booze?
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:45 PM
Aunt May. Would you or wouldn't you?
Charming woman. Calls me Mr. Gable.
..how many do I have in me, and does Red get to join in?
tony-stark-hero
03-04-2007, 11:47 PM
Mr. Stark, is it true that you bathe in the blood of children?
Is it also true that you get stray dogs drunk just to drink their urine and recycle the booze?
You're a rabble-rouser aren't you. What would you say to an internship? I can build you Fred armor.
mikegraham6
03-04-2007, 11:50 PM
S.H.E.I.l.D= Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division
As a Canadian, Mr. Stark, im interested in what you plans are for the great white north??
You're a rabble-rouser aren't you. What would you say to an internship? I can build you Fred armor.
It doesn't take a hippie to see evil Mr. Stark. No it does not
mikegraham6
03-04-2007, 11:52 PM
It doesn't take a hippie to see evil Mr. Stark. No it does not
i go for the fred armour though.... you could have Notorious B.I.G. blasting in the helmet!
i go for the fred armour though.... you could have Notorious B.I.G. blasting in the helmet!
that would be cool, until he uses it against me
tony-stark-hero
03-05-2007, 12:00 AM
S.H.E.I.l.D= Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division
As a Canadian, Mr. Stark, im interested in what you plans are for the great white north??
I before E, Mr. Graham.
Please refer any questions about the Canadian problem to Omega Flight. Frankly, I don't know where the place is. Reed says it's indeed "up north", but as I'm currently in a helicarrier, that would make Canada somewhere in outer space.
Alright. A serious answer to a serious question. Canada is very important to S.H.I.E.L.D. Which is why we put Beta Ray Bill on the OF team.
watsonglenn
03-05-2007, 12:00 AM
Just ask Tony.
How long will it be until someone takes over your armor AGAIN, and kills someone? Its seems SO easy lately someone could do it with one of those Airhog remote controls.
mikegraham6
03-05-2007, 12:02 AM
I before E, Mr. Graham.
Please refer any questions about the Canadian problem to Omega Flight. Frankly, I don't know where the place is. Reed says it's indeed "up north", but as I'm currently in a helicarrier, that would make Canada somewhere in outer space.
Alright. A serious answer to a serious question. Canada is very important to S.H.I.E.L.D. Which is why we put Beta Ray Bill on the OF team.
We get all the REAL heroes in Canada dont we:rolleyes:
tony-stark-hero
03-05-2007, 12:03 AM
How long will it be until someone takes over your armor AGAIN, and kills someone? Its seems SO easy lately someone could do it with one of those Airhog remote controls.
Stark Industries is taking advantage of Windows Vista and it's advanced firewall software. Nothing from Reboot is getting in this armor.
tony-stark-hero
03-05-2007, 12:06 AM
We get all the REAL heroes in Canada dont we:rolleyes:
Heroes of comedy, Mike G. Heroes of comedy.
Has anyone seen the Saturday Night Live Best of Mike Meyers dvd?
I ripped it to .wmv for my suit. I'm watching it during most of the fights in the first arc of New Avengers.
watsonglenn
03-05-2007, 12:07 AM
Stark Industries is taking advantage of Windows Vista and it's advanced firewall software. Nothing from Reboot is getting in this armor.
So you are a Microsoft Iron Man. That explains the evil.
paper
03-05-2007, 12:14 AM
Wonder Woman? Or is she too tall for you?
tony-stark-hero
03-05-2007, 12:18 AM
Wonder Woman? Or is she too tall for you?
Never heard of her.
Now, Wasp. That was an interesting night.
You know that party game where you put the keys to your armor in a punch bowl...the thing from The Ice Storm? Avengers Mansion in the 80s.
Kidding, Hank. Cripes.
My wife wanted me to ask - gosh, this is embarassing - who's the, uh, you know, "biggest hero" in the Avengers locker room?
This is one is for me - Pepper Potts: does the carpet match the drapes? At least, you know, from what Happy told ya?
I'll hang up and listen for my answers.
k-dizzle
03-05-2007, 12:33 AM
this whole 'ask tony' thing is a bad idea.
tony-stark-hero
03-05-2007, 12:35 AM
My wife wanted me to ask - gosh, this is embarassing - who's the, uh, you know, "biggest hero" in the Avengers locker room?
This is one is for me - Pepper Potts: does the carpet match the drapes? At least, you know, from what Happy told ya?
I'll hang up and listen for my answers.
Well, between me and your wife...
I can only surmise the answer to the first question from reading Rogers' diary. I had my own changing room.
Pym, but he's cheating.
As for Ms. Potts, salt and pepper is probably more accurate. That's what Hogan always said.
I have no idea what he meant.
tony-stark-hero
03-05-2007, 12:36 AM
this whole 'ask tony' thing is a bad idea.
Consider it ended. No desire to offend.
six-gun
03-05-2007, 12:48 AM
If you were transported to The Ultimate Universe, would you like yourself there?
watsonglenn
03-05-2007, 01:37 AM
Consider it ended. No desire to offend.
Dang you fold easily, just like you did when Cap ***** slapped you.
We get all the REAL heroes in Canada dont we:rolleyes:
Hey we have Captain Canuck!!
mikegraham6
03-05-2007, 05:47 PM
Hey we have Captain Canuck!!
Dont forget major mapleleaf! now theres a hero!
drwally
03-05-2007, 06:41 PM
Hey we have Captain Canuck!!
I obtained two issues of Captain Canuck in California, circa 1982-3 or thereabouts... Loved it, still have them.
That was before Tony became a big sodding alchoholic. Mr. Stark, are you still on the line, or has your suit's Vista system crashed already?
That was before Tony became a big sodding alchoholic. Mr. Stark, are you still on the line, or has your suit's Vista system crashed already?
They were actually DRM issues with his favorite Vodka
tony-stark-hero
03-05-2007, 07:16 PM
They were actually DRM issues with his favorite Vodka
That doesn't even make sense. Believe me, if I could download liquid courage, I--
Reed, stop working on the lame-ass time machine and start working on what the rabble-rouser said!
I admit I swung and missed there
mikegraham6
03-06-2007, 04:56 AM
since your the "iron man" and luke cage has skin like iron, doesn't that just make you redundant?
mikegraham6
03-06-2007, 04:56 AM
oh wait... are we done with this thread then? i was really enjoying it :(
drwally
03-06-2007, 01:44 PM
oh wait... are we done with this thread then? i was really enjoying it :(
Me too. I just read Tony being quoted as being "A Futurist," and I was going to ask, "didn't that go out of fashion before the Charleston did in 1926?"
I think the thread was either shut down by the N.S.A. or S.H.I.E.L.D....
Hey, what's that clicking noise I hear on my telephone???
tony-stark-hero
03-06-2007, 10:05 PM
since your the "iron man" and luke cage has skin like iron, doesn't that just make you redundant?
It makes Cage redundant. He's not an original Avenger and he's much less rich than me.
mikegraham6
03-06-2007, 10:29 PM
It makes Cage redundant. He's not an original Avenger and he's much less rich than me.
ya but HE doesn't need a pesky suit with a buncha doo dads on it
tony-stark-hero
03-07-2007, 12:18 AM
ya but HE doesn't need a pesky suit with a buncha doo dads on it
Neither do I. Well, I do. But I'd be willing to go without the suit. Sometimes I do. Did you read that New Avengers Illuminati where I was all naked? I owned. Cage wasn't even there. Has Cage ever even been in outer space? Probably not. Paupers don't go to space because they're too busy being poor. I've seen Pursuit of Happyness .
big-doze
03-07-2007, 12:33 AM
Neither do I. Well, I do. But I'd be willing to go without the suit. Sometimes I do. Did you read that New Avengers Illuminati where I was all naked? I owned. Cage wasn't even there. Has Cage ever even been in outer space? Probably not. Paupers don't go to space because they're too busy being poor. I've seen Pursuit of Happyness .
This is officially my favorite thread ever.
Mr. Stark, do you know what myspace is?
mikegraham6
03-07-2007, 12:36 AM
Mr. Stark (can i call you tony), britney spears with her shaved head. Would you still?
tony-stark-hero
03-07-2007, 01:16 AM
This is officially my favorite thread ever.
Mr. Stark, do you know what myspace is?
Consider it a public service, Mr. Doze.
MySpace (or Tony's Girl-o-dex) is essential. If you're American.
I don't actually update mine. That's what Deputy Director Hill is for. Sorry if there's any lame smileys or anything...
mikegraham6
03-07-2007, 01:20 AM
This is officially my favorite thread ever.
Mr. Stark, do you know what myspace is?
i agree, this IS the best thread ever! :D
tony-stark-hero
03-07-2007, 01:21 AM
Mr. Stark (can i call you tony), britney spears with her shaved head. Would you still?
Unlikely. There was a time where I'd be all over that. But working so closely with Charles Xavier in the Illuminati, our top secret brain trust/awesome force, I don't think I could be sensually intimate with a cueball ever again.
I've seen CX as a baby too (when Reed got that Power Rangers glove with the Lucky Charms in it). I was all, "Check please!"
mikegraham6
03-07-2007, 01:34 AM
Tony, who was the best TV dad and why?
Bob Saget, Alan Thicke, or Michael Gross?
tony-stark-hero
03-07-2007, 01:46 AM
Tony, who was the best TV dad and why?
Bob Saget, Alan Thicke, or Michael Gross?
This is....
While these clods are shuffling around at the starting gate, Tom Bosley is accepting the olive leaves at the finish line.
I'd also nominate the dads from My Two Dads because I feel like that is important.
Would anyone like to ask some policy questions?
mikegraham6
03-07-2007, 01:48 AM
Would anyone like to ask some policy questions?
Sorry, not important :D
watsonglenn
03-07-2007, 01:59 AM
Would anyone like to ask some policy questions?
Whats your policy on hiring communist agents to attack the capital?
tony-stark-hero
03-07-2007, 02:23 AM
Whats your policy on hiring communist agents to attack the capital?
Ho Ho! I don't think you need to worry about that happening. The Berlin Wall went down ages ago.
Conspiracy theories can be fun, but they're better left on the racks at the checkout line. I don't wear the big iron helmet to keep out "radio waves" from planet Hoffa. It's for protecting my brain and handsomeness.
Haha..."racks"