"Dear Martin,"

[samureye]

So you've watched him on TV, watch the shows on Revision3 and realise that he is the epitome of awesome. You envy him and want him to impart the wisdom to you personally that you hear drunkly spewed out of his mouth and into your ears each and *every week. No? Oh...well, hypothetically speaking, if you were interested in asking Martin Sargent a question, you could do that in this thread and possibly have it answered on the show, if you were interested I mean, but if not it's totally cool...

Feel free to ask questions for Joey and The Gator to potentially answer on the show in here as well.










*Okay, so the podcast doesn't come out weekly, but we're working on it.

[nation]

Hey gator wheres your truck?

[royalwcheese]

Why no full video podcast? Come on its the two thousands man.

[g33k0ft3ch]

Why won't you get a real set and do video, and make it feel more like Unscrewed, but unfiltered and more adult, if thats even possible for you?

[chuck-nasty]

Martin,

Do you do the GoTV, "Why Today Sucked" show, everyday? Do you record a bunch in a day? Like Jeporady or Wheel of Fortune.

Thanks,

chuck!

[sugarsickness]

Dear Martin,


I have two questions. First, it appears that your first episode was released on November 11th, which is my birthday. So when you are celebrating your first full year of Infected, I'll be celebrating my twentieth year on the planet. Since you are a huge celebrity and are unanimously loved and admired by pretty much everyone on earth I was wondering if you could give me a lil 'happy birthday shout out' around my birthday. Obviously this will only have positive effects on my sex life as everyone will now think I have a lot of big hollywood hook ups and when it does pick up you can expect a picture of me in an Infected t-shirt mounting a hot babe. This leads me to question two.

With the recent news that Screech of Saved By The Bell fame now jumping on the sex tape band wagon what do you say about either you, Joey, or the Gator doing one? It would not be something I would pirate - Oh, no - I would pay good, hard earned cash for something like that as would millions of women. So, dirty sanchez anyone?

[argyle]

Is Martin going to the Gwar concert in November?

[non-servatum]

Hi,

Can we have more porn in the peepshow version ? Any kind is cool with me becasue I am open minded. Seal on horse, ass to mouth, whatever.

thanks a million.

[nation]

Explain to me Seal on horse

[terby]

Hey Martin,

I know just the thing that this podcast needs. What you do is go full-force with video by having a one-on-one no holds barred cage match between Joey and Gator. You film it and air it. Maybe you could get one of those loser friends of yours (one of those interwebs "celebrities") to commentate on the match with you.

I'd also like to ask about the house you guys broadcast from, whose is it?

[nation]

Mine!...I wish

[rowlodge]

whens that show with you and the rest of the diggnation gang comin?...you know the one your gonna host?...message ends...stop

[tommyfullington]

Hey Martin,

I know just the thing that this podcast needs. What you do is go full-force with video by having a one-on-one no holds barred cage match between Joey and Gator. You film it and air it. Maybe you could get one of those loser friends of yours (one of those interwebs "celebrities") to commentate on the match with you.

I'd also like to ask about the house you guys broadcast from, whose is it?

I believe the house is in santa monica CA. I think they said that when they were talking to BikerFox about filming his movie.

[nation]

Wait whats goin on here?

[drmumbo]

to make the question why do you guys kick so much ****ing ass. i mean seriously everything that you guys do is well awsome. I used to watch Unscrewed and i actually ahve all them recorded. i was wicked pissed when i found out that it was cancled. now all G4 has is those gay racing shows. i think i speak for everyone when i say BRING BACK TECH TV!! or hey maybe revision3 can have its own channel some day... i hope. I would be willing to help martin get back on tv. that would be a great day in american history.

[branwenism]

to make the question why do you guys kick so much ****ing ass. i mean seriously everything that you guys do is well awsome. I used to watch Unscrewed and i actually ahve all them recorded. i was wicked pissed when i found out that it was cancled. now all G4 has is those gay racing shows. i think i speak for everyone when i say BRING BACK TECH TV!! or hey maybe revision3 can have its own channel some day... i hope. I would be willing to help martin get back on tv. that would be a great day in american history.


I so agree with you on this I Miss Tech TV. I learned so much there. Leo Leporte mia. I am ever so happy to see Kevin and Martin though. Can't wait for this podcast. Oh and Martin thanks For the turn on to the Suicide Girls its always a pleasure. I Cant waste my time on G4 not even for X play.

[dromeonyourchest]

Martin,

Why do my balls itch after getting a ten dollar hand job from Joey?

[nation]

Martin is joey growing his hair back..

[rowlodge]

tell us what you or gator and joey sites you visit a lot...porn or just plain looked up something on google. what sites did you visit today, besides here?

also what are you obsessed with,i mean food or activities, sports?

[kickliquid]

Martin, I hear joey likes to suck cockgoblins to see how many lick it really takes to get to the gooey center can you confirm or deny this? I expect an answer by tommorow or I'll take your silence as an confirmation of this horrid act of humanity. Oh by the way, I ****ing fell over laughing when you guys had bikerfox on, the best was the uneasy silence of asking about Bikerfox's sexuality.

[black-fox]

I ****ing fell over laughing when you guys had bikerfox on, the best was the uneasy silence of asking about Bikerfox's sexuality.

that was funny as hell

"so..biker fox whats your sexuality?"

"Um....
...
...
...
well then i rode my bike down the street and i thought that was kinda cool"

[jay]

Dear Martin,

I'm sorry Kevin, Alex, Prager and I didn't show up for your Olde Tyme Christmas Party. We were stuck when Kevin's VW Gulf dropped a rod on it's way back from Lala's and Alex was busy shooting Ctrl-Alt-Dickhead.

Prager ran out of the car screaming something about his immediate "Need for an Orange Julius," and we had to chase him through the mall parking lot. We found him hiding behind the hot dog on a stick counter. Poor guy.

Will you ever forgive us?

-Jay

P.S... Thanks for the cheese. It will feed us for a long long time.

[larin]

hey uh... Joey? What kind of shampoo you use?

[nation]

I would have came martin if i was invited..

Joey obviously dosnt wash his hair..

[jjallday]

Is Gator anorexic or just "pull the trigger" bulimic?

[mattenno]

hey marty

its pretty funny how i got kicked from teh infected chat room for saying that kevin rose had a thing with bikerfox...and then you go on infected and call him a ****ot rofl. JOEY JOEY JOEY JOEY JOEY

[nation]

Wheres This Chat Room!?

[alterberith]

yea i just have one question,

Martin, what kind of cereal do you eat in the morning? (seriously fruity pebbles is the best)

[shadowbird712]

Hey Martin,

Can we suggest "commercials" to use on Infected?

If so, there's one commercial that I think you could have a lot of fun with. Dannon makes this yogurt called Activia (http://www.activia.com/) which is supposed to "keep you regular". It contains a bacteria called bifidus regularis, and basically, it's yogurt that makes you poo.

In fact, every time I see the commercials for it, I automatically think of you in your commercial voice saying, "Activia...the yogurt that makes you shit."

[nation]

Activeon APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!

[black-fox]

Ill apply directly to your forehead.

Anyway martin, Thanks for the mention on the new infected video addition. I thought it was pretty cool seeing you and gator on the screen.

Im thinking you should go with the lizard boy as the new messaiah.

[nation]

my vote is for bullet in head kid

[darklighter]

Hey Martin,

This isn't so much a question as much as it is a way to impart some valuable knowledge upon your fine readership. This pearl of wisdom comes from a friend of mine who's discovered a way to get that big screen TV by taking craps at work. He's a strange one but I think he's on to something. Someone who thinks this big should be on Larry King, or at least on Infected.

You can find the worthy article titled, "To Crap or Not to Crap" here:
http://blog.myspace.com/t_mann27

While you're there, look me up: Darklighter's MySpace Page (http://www.myspace.com/vssalazar)

p.s. I vote for the galaxy boy. He sounds like he knows his crap.

[orggladiator]

Anyone, What's your favorite beer?

Martin, Have you heard the controversy behind eBaums World? If yes, do you think USA will pick it up or not? Could the Porn Mom, from Unscrewed, and/or ever make a guest appearance on Infected?

Will you consider doing a Webdrifter episode on New Orleans Voodoo?

Gator, have you ever thought of getting contacts? What prescription are you?

Joey, What’s the weirdest thing you have heard Martin or Gator say?

[black-fox]

Controversy behinds eBaums world? well i guess it sucks ass either way. but what is this controversy?

[firestonex]

I would first like to say that all you guys in revision are great, even those that I don't recognize from Tech TV. I am a huge fan of Martin Sargent, as well as Diggnation, and all the other wonderful podcast that you have available. I am new to this site, so I haven't seen everything that there is to see. But it is great that TechTV Lives!!!!!!!

I haven't read every single forum post so if I have asked the same question, I'm sorry.

I was wondering why Laura Swisher isn't on Infected. I would would like to know more about what everyone thinks about G4 now. Perhaps an entire episodes talking about your Tech TV's past memories, and facts about G4 and how much you hate them now. Maybe some info on X-play. That would be a great show to watch. Thanks for reading me. I know I'm still a noob to this site, But I am watching as much as I can. Perhaps Morgan or Adam could guest star on one of revisions podcasts.


P.S. If anyone has any old Tech TV episodes, please consider putting then in Torrent form for everyone to download. Thanks.


also.. I don't know if you have added this in your later episode but you should !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BRING BACK THE DARK TIPPER!!!!!!!!!!!

[black-fox]

Welcome to the bowels of the internet firestoneX your questions go unhead. this is the red headed stepchild that is beaten by the revision 3 fathers. you are now infected, and you can never be un-infected so you just better enjoy being infected, and infecting as many people, and creating more infected.

anywho good question i would like to see some other shows, but it might be better to email revision 3 or one of the head honchos.

[wmesser58]

Martin,

Unscrewed was excellent and G4 were idiots for letting "The Screen Savers" and all the tech stuff go.

But some one said it already. This is the twenty-first century. We need real video not freakin slide shows.

It is not funny. I could not watch or even listen. You can do way better than that.

I hope you at least consider it.

Wayne

[samureye]

Um...Infected does video now...

[wmesser58]

Slide Shows that look like home movies I would not call video.

Perhaps I did not go far enough since I could not watch the trip to the grand canyon.

Yep that did not happen but it was just as BORING.

[zombie999]

I hate fat idiots that are so pretentious that they cant give anything a chance without going to forums and posting multiple times about how much they hate it. Why don't you take a look at yourself and realize that you are something of a lost cause to begin with and for you to be judgmental on others maybe you should take that ice-cream covered hot dog out of your mouth and ride a ****ing bike.

[beercan]

Dear Maritn,

As I sit hear enjoying the latset show (sipping on my favortie Whisky, Ezra Brooks) I wondered what you prefer. Do you drink the chaep s)*t , best for the value, or "DAMN this is good sh(#!" outragousley expensive.

As Drunk as I am, and in all contradiction to my handle,
Beercan

[martinsargent]

First of all, why are you called Beercan if you are a whiskey drinker? I guess I drink pretty much everything too. I have The Thirst.

As for whiskey, I mainly drink bourbon whiskey. I like Wild Turkey (usually 80 proof, unless I only have time for one or two, then 101 proof, though I see less reason these days to drink something I can make a Molotov Cocktail out of). I really like Maker's Mark. I really really like Woodford Reserve. I will drink pretty much any bourbon or American sour mash whiskey. I also like most Canadian whiskey.

I don't like Scotch or Irish whiskey. This pains me because I'm of Scottish origin, and even though I sampled all of the best the region has to offer, I still prefer American concoctions. USA!!! Love it or leave it, *****. Or at least get drunk on it.

[comhcinc]

I don't like Scotch or Irish whiskey. This pains me because I'm of Scottish origin, and even though I sampled all of the best the region has to offer, I still prefer American concoctions. USA!!! Love it or leave it, *****. Or at least get drunk on it.

you are dead to me now....do you hear me? DEAD!!!

[beercan]

Martin,

Being of Scottish heritage also, I feel your pain, though there are some great Scotch Whiskeys around, they take too long to taste great. As to the handle Beercan Well I consumed vast quantities in my schooling daze and a friend mistook my last name with Beercan. So the name has stuck but now I prefer that Amber colored liquor concocted around the formation of this Wonderful Great Messed up Country of ours. Keep up the good fight!

[annamariah]

Dear Martin,

I hope you're enjoying San Francisco again. Unfortunately with your new "set" I'm missing checking out your bookshelf. I could make out Murakami's The Elephant Vanishes, Under the Banner of Heaven, Devil in the White City and some of those old beige Penguin classics. What else have you got on your shelf? Are these some of your favorites or just some stuff you're holding on to?

[shanmac]

Maybe on the next episode you can give a tour of your loft. It would also give you an incentive to clean up your bedroom.:)

[kuhnaydeein]

I just want to say Congrats on Moving, too bad you didn't keep moving all the way up to Oregon, it's awesome here. And congrats on the new shows and other projects you're working on.

Will you keep doing 'infected' even after you become famous? Or will you become drunk on said fame, and forget about all those people you infected.

Yours truly

Brian, aka Kuhnaydeein

PS
It's pronounced "Canadian"

PPS
Do you play XBox Live, and if so, can I get your GamerTag to add to my friends list?

[kaine]

Hello Martin. I wanted to ask you about 'Real dolls' Well as you can see from the documentary Guys and Dolls (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3710987618964917848) this seems right up The Gators alley.

Now if you can stand watching for more then ten minutes you will see this guy named Gordon who has a few dolls of his own. If i did not know better I would think Gordon and Gator were brothers.

Here is gordons Real Doll Page (http://www.geocities.com/gordongriggs/GingerBrookesRealdollPage.html). What a prize.... I think he would make for an amazing interview then maybe him and the gator could go out and cruise in their ancient trucks.


Well any way I love the show. Keep it up!

PS: Here is some youtube footage about gordon: http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=gordon+real+doll&hl=en

[pauljr]

Hi Martin,

That short sketch on Unscrewed where you showed the picture of the fat guy and said something like "That's me before I ordered by phentermine" was really funny. Did you ever meet Morgan Webb? If so I'd like to say wow you're lucky: check out what I use for my desktop wallpaper http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebs/morganwebb/morgan_webb_3.jpg I found out on a site about her she uses Red Hat Linux and you said on Infected you use Linux and I was wondering what distro?


What kind of music you listen to and if you've been to any good concerts out west? Myself having only been to concerts on the east coast, liked rock, classic rock, jam bands, techno, and metal while in HS; shows I attended were NIN with Perfect Circle, Radiohead, Medeski Martin & Wood and The Gypsy Kings. Then in College (while you were on tv) I got into techno and jam bands more and played guitar and bass in a few bands and made some techno. Then being out of college I got more into traditional music (Bluegrass, Irish) and saw Bill Monroe (famous blind player) once and Del McCoury twice.

You and The Gator put on an awesome show. Yours and The Gator's stories are excellent. My only comment about your show is you should drink more on it cause that's a good thing about being on the internet versus cable tv. To me Irish and Scottish whiskey is excellent, I think you must have not ever had any 19 year whiskey from Scotland (which my Uncle and his girlfriend brought over from his UK distillery club) which I just looked into and found this site: http://www.singlemaltsdirect.com where I encourage you to sample the real stuff from your homeland!

Paul J. R.

[pauljr]

Bill Monroe (famous blind player)

Whoops! I confused him with someone else. I meant Doc Watson; Bill Monroe isn't blind though he's famous and Doc covers his songs.

Paul J. R.

[yssman]

Dear Martin,

I hand you a semi-automatic weapon and allow you to go ape-shit (ala Ted Nugent) on stage: Who do you go after in the name of "FREEDOM!!!" and why?

[martinsargent]

Joey. I would go after Joey.

[qubeh]

Who after Joey? What if Joey doesn't die? :>

[firestonex]

Dear Martin,
Where have the user summited photo requests gone to.. I am in the mood to make some more Joey-Bird Photoshop Pics.

[atom12]

Dear Martin,

Besides finding the strangest and most unusual web sights to share with us (which enriches are meager lives) and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, what else do you do with your time?

Love the show and we need more Martin,

Atom12:eek:

[deathblossom]

Just an idea i figure i would throw out into the wild blue yonder, what if...

Joey died his hair pink ?
or
Martin and joey had a taser contest to see who could take the pain longer ?

[firestonex]

Joey hasn't been running the camera lately. Is he on vacation or out of town. Just curious.



Dustin Forrester
Firestone X

[thepierre]

Question,

Have any of the books on the bookshelf behind Martin ever been read?
And if they have, what is your favorite book?
And if not, who's office did you steal them from?

[thepierre]

I have another question.

When you guys are out in public, do you get recognized by celebrities? Like any musicians, or actors that come up and say, Aren't you Martin and the Gator?

[lurch1987]

Dear Martian,

I used to watch Unscrewed all the time. I still remember the first episode. And when it was cancelled, I was filled with sadness and woe. Then I found my stash, and was just slightly depressed. But i was curious, do you fantasize about running into the G4TV studio with a chainsaw and a Picachu cosplay mask and murdering the new hosts? Specifically Kevin Pereira, the biggest tool since Carson Daily? Even if you don't, do you think you could do that? Thanks.

Your [adjective] fan,
Lurch1987

[rightclique]

Martin,

Do you ever remember, while at Unscrewed, receiving any emails containing a photoshopped picture of yourself and a sheep on a cliff? Just curious. I really want to find that picture, if you even know what the hell I'm talking about. Otherwise, great ****ing show. I've been a fan since the zdtv days.

[brlee2003]

Dear Martin,

You should put Glenn behind the camera so Joey can be a personality on the show. He was great on earlier episodes of Infected, such as the family episode when Mr. Rabier was on. JOEY JOEY JOEY!

[thepierre]

Dear Martin,

You should put Glenn behind the camera so Joey can be a personality on the show. He was great on earlier episodes of Infected, such as the family episode when Mr. Rabier was on. JOEY JOEY JOEY!

I agree.. I miss seeing/hearing I guess... Joey when it was in slideshow format...

[mcswagger]

Dear Martin,

You are the phat shit bombdiggity (yes, that's a compliment). I was madly in love with your show, and with TechTV in general. We spawned many illegitimate love children together back in the day, before it was desecrated and banished to the annals of tv hell. Unscrewed with Martin Sargent, along with Call for Help were only a couple of TechTV's many quality programs that brought me much visual and aural pleasure. The iridescent glow emitted by the tv screen and the perverse foul mouthed rantings that gently caressed my ear when your show was on was the light that brightened my once damp, dark world. I was truly happy and at peace, knowing I could come home and bask in TechTV's comforting glow. But when the station was pillaged and raped like a native at the first thanksgiving by the godless heathens at G4...well...a part of my eternal soul died a little that day. I felt like I had lost a member of my family, a couple members really. Specifically, I felt as if I lost a distant uncle in Leo, an uncle that would drop by everyday to teach me handy little tips n' tricks about computers and other gadgetry. But more importantly, in you Marty, it was as if I lost a drunken and mildly psychotic 12th cousin twice removed, a mildly psychotic cousin, that like a flask of good port, could make me laugh and bring me cheer, no matter how bleak my day had seemed. Yes those were the good ol' days... and for the past few years I had pined for those days to return to me. I had given up hope in finding a replacement that could bring me the same joy... Until one glorious day, when I was stumbling around on Internet, searching for steamy leather bound girl on goat Malaysian midget porn, i happened upon a little web show...called Web Drifter. It was only recently that I had discovered your new show...and realized that my messiah, had finally returned, and to my great surprise in the form of Infected as well. Two shows which, like a junkie who scored and booted a hit of primo black tar heroine, I quickly became addicted to. Yes you Martin Sargent, are my own personal messiah and my heroine, enriching my life and knowledge with interesting factoids and information about the obscure and perverse world around us, all while slowly defiling and desanctifying my soul, condemning it to a small dirty one bedroom apartment with poor plumping in the fiery pits of hell. Yes, if Jesus had a moderate drinking problem and an affinity for cheap hookers, well, I'm sure he'd be just like you Marty. You're Internet's own perverted drunken Jesus, and for that Internet and I are grateful. Kneeways...to sum this long, slightly obsessive and disturbing rant up, I thank you Martin Sargent, for the hours of ranting insanity that has kept a pain in my side and a tear in my eye in laughter. Keep up the excellent work, cause I'll keep watching.

-McSwagger-

Evading the riptide since 1987

[mcoulton]

Dear martin:

Is the cancellation due to patrick norton getting revenge on you for trying to take his position on tekzilla.

[brlee2003]

Martin,

I'm disappointed that there will be no Christmas episode this year. Last year's Olde World Christmas was great. The one 2 years ago was really good as well.

Also, get Joey to fix Sargeworld. Joey Joey Joey!!!

[neutrino15]

It contains a bacteria called bifidus regularis, and basically, it's yogurt that makes you poo.



Haha man.. My friend made me eat that shit.. My favorite part about the whole experience was that it contains "Bifidus Regularis." I just threw out some expired containers of the stuff.


P.S. Martin: Stop saying everything you do fails. You have a nice set now on a cushy network. You fill a niche in internet, and you are appreciated for it. Nobody pities you.