Splitting Up Sucks.

[popltree2]

My wife and I are splitting up. I can't take time off work to deal with it because I am the only one in my company that is (apparently) capable of doing the stuff I do. We have lost the two people who were doing what I do so I basically have the load of 3 people. I wish I could say the split was sudden and I didn't see it coming, but the truth is that she has been growing more and more distant over the past 6 months. Based off of past relationships, the end result is usually a split.

It sucks to say the least. It is arguably the worst thing I have ever been through. I don't want to lose her but, if she isn't happy, I don't want her to stick around, ya know? I am just look for some kind ears and I figured this was the place to come to. Thanks for listening and thanks for any advice you may be able to give.

[samureye]

Wellm now I want to ask how old you guys are and how long you've been together. I'm sorry it's happening but I think it's great you are approaching it the same way. I was in a situation where if I wasn't happy, leaving wouldn't be easy (and it wasn't) so as hard as it will be, at least it will be mutual. Hopefully things will work out, I wish you all the best.

[popltree2]

Wellm now I want to ask how old you guys are and how long you've been together. I'm sorry it's happening but I think it's great you are approaching it the same way. I was in a situation where if I wasn't happy, leaving wouldn't be easy (and it wasn't) so as hard as it will be, at least it will be mutual. Hopefully things will work out, I wish you all the best.

We are both 24. Been friends for about 12 years. A couple for about 4. Our two your anniversary was going to be on the 24th.

[tehcris]

Dude i feel your pain man....its a long and painful process....dont worry if you guys are meant to be together itll happen weather its now or later on....just stay strong bro.

[popltree2]

Dude i feel your pain man....its a long and painful process....dont worry if you guys are meant to be together itll happen weather its now or later on....just stay strong bro.

Thanks for the support. I am trying to keep that whole "If you love something, let it go" mentality, but it easier said than done. Only time will tell I guess.

[black_magic]

Does the saying It's better to have loved and lost than to never had loved at all hold true here?

[popltree2]

Does the saying It's better to have loved and lost than to never had loved at all hold true here?

At this point, only in the sense that I have kind of learned my lesson about love. It isn't something to jump into. Granted we had been together for 4 years, but still. Apparently we needed more time.

[tokenuser]

I just got back from my cousins wedding. His second. His first wife was a nice enough girl, but it didn't look like a relationship that would last - similar to yoursel, they lasted 2 years. His new wife is 6 years younger than he is, and is a much better match.

My wife and I dated for 5 years (met while we were in college), then lived together for another 5 years before we got married, and have now been married for just over 5 years.

Yo need ot put time into a relationship to make it work. I no longer play video games like I used to. It was a sacrifice (minor) to spend more time with her - even if it is sitting on the couch watching a video rather than siting on a couch killer orcs like aI used to do :)

f it truly is over, then its going to take time to get past the divorce. Don't rush it - but remember that there is only one you. Put work on the back burner if it is getting in the way

[masherscf]

f it truly is over, then its going to take time to get past the divorce. Don't rush it - but remember that there is only one you. Put work on the back burner if it is getting in the way

My wife and I dated for four years, lived together for one and just celebrated our tenth anniversary.

If a marriage is going to fail, your at the time when it will.

If you feel it is sudden, you need to slow the heck down. You're probably too young to be married. But, know that you are take a good long look. If you two don't have a future together, it's better too realize it sooner than to start having kids.

[popltree2]

I just got back from my cousins wedding. His second. His first wife was a nice enough girl, but it didn't look like a relationship that would last - similar to yoursel, they lasted 2 years. His new wife is 6 years younger than he is, and is a much better match.

My wife and I dated for 5 years (met while we were in college), then lived together for another 5 years before we got married, and have now been married for just over 5 years.

Yo need ot put time into a relationship to make it work. I no longer play video games like I used to. It was a sacrifice (minor) to spend more time with her - even if it is sitting on the couch watching a video rather than siting on a couch killer orcs like aI used to do :)

f it truly is over, then its going to take time to get past the divorce. Don't rush it - but remember that there is only one you. Put work on the back burner if it is getting in the way

I would love to put it on the back burner for a week. Haven't had a vacation in 2 years. And it has aged me well beyond my years. I am going to be taking a week off and visiting friends for re-coup time.

[lefrenzy]

go do something together, even for a short weekend. Take her to where you met 12 years ago and reminisce.

[zogbot]

I'm really sorry to hear this. But sorrier still that i haven't had a relationship as yours to trouble myself with. Man be proud of having the relationship to lose in the first place.

[njshadow]

Was it definitely because you were working too much? Because If I were you I would have to take a stand at work and tell them flat out that this is causing some serious problems between me and my wife.

[black_magic]

Was it definitely because you were working too much? Because If I were you I would have to take a stand at work and tell them flat out that this is causing some serious problems between me and my wife.

Easier said than done. Sure, most would LIKE to think that their social life is more important than making money, but is it?

[tokenuser]

Easier said than done. Sure, most would LIKE to think that their social life is more important than making money, but is it?Hmmm.

Popltree is NOT talking about a "relationship" or a "social life". He is talking about his wife. Family. Not a night out on the town with the boys.

... and sometimes you need to put family first. I sacrificed an opportunity to start up the network projects division (interstate location) of what has become a very successful consulting company in Australia, so that I could follow my girlfriend (now wife) half way around the world and support her through her graduate studies.

Sometimes you have to make personal sacrifices for family and loved ones.

[masherscf]

Hmmm.
Sometimes you have to make personal sacrifices for family and loved ones.

Well said.

[njshadow]

Easier said than done. Sure, most would LIKE to think that their social life is more important than making money, but is it?

It's true what Token said. This isn't just his "social life" it's kinda his LIFE.....period. Family comes first. Adversity only makes us stronger in the end.

[popltree2]

Work wasn't the issue. She said she hasn't felt romantically connected to me for the past 6 months or so. And has been questioning the marriage for about a year. I tried suggested counseling but she wouldn't have it. I work about 60 hours a week so I am sure that has something to do with it.

[treeninja]

An old man gave me a tip he said
"Don't waste your time with politics" he said
"Just chase skirts instead"
"Life is too short, and you're almost dead" he said
"I met a woman once, I gave her my best shot"
"But never did I talk and talk and talk"
"If I had her back, I'd be as real as my age"
"I so don't blame them, I wouldn't do the same"

[njshadow]

Try and spice things up or somethin'. Try something like a romantic getaway and, if possible, take a break from work and spend some real time with here.

[ariastar]

*hugs and loves*

Sweetie, you know we're here for you and love you to pieces. A trial separation may help put things into clearer perspective. I'm not going to let you fall.

[rabidbadger]

*hugs and loves*

Sweetie, you know we're here for you and love you to pieces. A trial separation may help put things into clearer perspective. I'm not going to let you fall.

Ditto. Check your PMs Cody.

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