Challenging Question (be prepared): What would YOU do in this situation?

[danielus]

Imagine this: One day you come home early, eat your dinner, turn on computer and find out that your girlfriend forgot to delete her browsing history. Furthermore, you realize she surfed over 50 hard core adult websites.

What would you do in this situation? Would you confront her? What would you tell her? Would you feel as "under performer"? Please post your thoughts on this...

[patch]

Ask her about it, but not in any confrontational way, or anything that should make her feel ashamed of it.

There is nothing wrong with looking at porn, and there is nothing wrong with masturbation. You can do both and still have a healthy relationship and sex life.

[zenbiont]

#1: This is your girlfriend, not your wife.

#2: It's business time, baby!

http://img.youtube.com/vi/WGOohBytKTU/2.jpg

[ariastar]

What's so difficult about this? Guys browse porn, and so do some women. Are we women underperforming if you guys look at porn? Don't worry about it or make a big deal out of it. Ask if she'd like to watch a porn with you, but don't mention it. It's nearly taboo for women to watch porn, and to bring it up to her may make her defensive.

[danielus]

I guess your suggestions make sense... :)

[deegraww]

I guess your suggestions make sense... :)

#1 rule of thumb always be honest. If this is someone you see yourself with for a long time just talk to her. But like what was said above don't come at her like she is the anti-crist. Well unless you don't like the fact that she was looking at porn...

[rabidbadger]

Maybe she was doing research for your benefit.

[scoobydiesel]

....i dont have a girl friend....**back to surfing**

[ariastar]

#1 rule of thumb always be honest. If this is someone you see yourself with for a long time just talk to her. But like what was said above don't come at her like she is the anti-crist. Well unless you don't like the fact that she was looking at porn...

No, that is NOT always the #1 rule. If a girl means it when she asks if something makes her look fat, are you going to sugar coat it, lie, or tell her she looks like a sausage? In this case, she was doing something already considered taboo, but which there really is no problem. She's not lying about it (as in he asked, she said no), and her internet activities are really none of your business unless she's deceiving you and cheating, and if you suspect that, then you're problems are so much bigger than the fact that she was looking at some porn.

Take it from a girl. Do NOT make an issue out of this, even jokingly. There's nothing to be worried about, and mentioning it may make her self-conscious and close off. At most, ask her if she'd be interested in watching a porn with you. If she says yes, ask later if she likes to watch it on her own, and don't worry if she says no (even though it's a fib).

I swear it to you, making an issue out of a non-issue will embarrass her. And you do NOT want that. So just drop it.

[rabidbadger]

I don't totally agree with Aria here. Things are VERY different these days with porn. Most of my straight couple/married friends watch porn toghether. Porn used to be "totally" male centric, but now it is totally different, if you know where to look, much more "couple-centric." The guys are better looking now, so the women have some fantasy eyecandy, no more Ron Jeremys now. There is a lot of "ameature" straight porn out there where both people wanna share their physical joy with the world.

Porn used to be hookers in high heels and any fat dude with a good sized weenie, doing it for the money.

I say: "accidentally" leave a porn site you like up on the screen when you know she will find it. Maybe one that has some of the same attributes of the ones she was checking out.

This isn't supposed to be a "trick" or "lie," or anything. Just a jumping off point, a conversation starter. You are all grown up, after all.

Basically, take it seriously, because love and sex are serious. But also, have fun with it. Cause love and sex are fun. That's why they exist. (oh, and to make kids, when you're ready for that. but practice makes perfect :) )

[helen]

#1: This is your girlfriend, not your wife.

#2: It's business time, baby!

http://img.youtube.com/vi/WGOohBytKTU/2.jpg

#1. **** yes.
#2. Flight of the Conchords, hell yes.

[ariastar]

I don't totally agree with Aria here. Things are VERY different these days with porn. Most of my straight couple/married friends watch porn toghether. Porn used to be "totally" male centric, but now it is totally different, if you know where to look, much more "couple-centric." The guys are better looking now, so the women have some fantasy eyecandy, no more Ron Jeremys now. There is a lot of "ameature" straight porn out there where both people wanna share their physical joy with the world.

Porn used to be hookers in high heels and any fat dude with a good sized weenie, doing it for the money.

I say: "accidentally" leave a porn site you like up on the screen when you know she will find it. Maybe one that has some of the same attributes of the ones she was checking out.

This isn't supposed to be a "trick" or "lie," or anything. Just a jumping off point, a conversation starter. You are all grown up, after all.

Basically, take it seriously, because love and sex are serious. But also, have fun with it. Cause love and sex are fun. That's why they exist. (oh, and to make kids, when you're ready for that. but practice makes perfect :) )

He sounds like he wants to know how to confront her in some way, like she was doing something wrong, which she wasn't. Which is why he needs to just drop it or invite her to watch some with him.

[rabidbadger]

I just think he may be young and confused, shocked that a young women would be intersted in the whole "sex" thing beyond their little world. But he hasn't come back, so either he got it resolved, or just got tired of us :)

[tokenuser]

I just think he may be young and confused, shocked that a young women would be intersted in the whole "sex" thing beyond their little world. But he hasn't come back, so either he got it resolved, or just got tired of us :)Or he discovered a whole new world of depravitity on line. STOP IT OR YOU WILL GO BLIND.

Usenet - who needs subscription based porn?

[rabidbadger]

was never able to figure out how to join segments of usenet, pron or otherwise.

[danielus]

Yeah, she seems to be more into sex than me. I guess, girls never have enough sex. Not that there is anything wrong with it. Maybe we should not talk about sex too much on these forums, moderator might get mad. Not that there is anything wrong with sex. And yeah, I am open minded to pretty much anything (but not everything), so hehe... life goes on.

[phxfan]

Years ago, I might have gotten upset or felt uneasy about it. Now, I would jump for joy and use it to spice things up.

[danielus]

Years ago, I might have gotten upset or felt uneasy about it. Now, I would jump for joy and use it to spice things up.

Hahaha... that's the way to do it.

[phxfan]

Hahaha... that's the way to do it.

Don't listen to what some other people say either. Rub it in her face. Call her a dirty girl and get crazy. Oh shit do I wish I could bust my wife on something like this.

[rabidbadger]

Danielus:

Dude. glad you re-joined the conversation. I'm assuming you are older that 18 ish, other wise, wont talk to you bout this stuff, but for everyone else out there...

Sexuality is good! experiment, have fun, giggle, enjoy, have fun. Be good and be careful, but have great glorious gobs of fun. Sex should NOt talke over your life, or hers. But Love should. Have fun with sex, but also "make love" once in a while. The pron thing is part of the "fun" thing, but nothing beats "making love"

[_sorrow_]

Hahaha, great response PHX.

And Danielus i'm with the majority on this one: oh, she looks at porn? Thats funny, so do i! While I'm not proud of it, and its not something i'll bring up in everday discussions, but if someone corners me and asks me outright? Sure, i'lll admit it - and i honestly think that a majority of people look at porn on occasion.

And on a similar note, maybe i'm unique in the sense that i used to hang out with a lets say.. radical group of friends when i lived in Canada for a bit, but i know plenty of girls who not only are into porn more than i am, but also love sex toys, talking about kinky sexual things (e.g. good handcuffed positions), etc..

I guess the moral of the story is different strokes for different folks: do what you enjoy and don't question what others do unless it causes you a direct and personal problem - and if its possible, make the most of it as PHXfan mentions! :D

[deegraww]

[COLOR="Magenta"]
No, that is NOT always the #1 rule. If a girl means it when she asks if something makes her look fat, are you going to sugar coat it, lie, or tell her she looks like a sausage?

I'm going to tell the truth.

[danielus]

Danielus:

Dude. glad you re-joined the conversation. I'm assuming you are older that 18 ish, other wise, wont talk to you bout this stuff, but for everyone else out there...

Sexuality is good! experiment, have fun, giggle, enjoy, have fun. Be good and be careful, but have great glorious gobs of fun. Sex should NOt talke over your life, or hers. But Love should. Have fun with sex, but also "make love" once in a while. The pron thing is part of the "fun" thing, but nothing beats "making love"

Of course! Guess my age? I am 27!
Sexuality is healthy to talk about, but these forums are more tech-oriented, and my topic kinda exploded, so I thought moderator might remove it. But, it's still alive, it's stilll good. Did you know that dolphins are only mamals (beside humans) who make sex for pleasure?

Don't listen to what some other people say either. Rub it in her face. Call her a dirty girl and get crazy. Oh shit do I wish I could bust my wife on something like this.

Hey, girls like to be called dirty names... I always wonder why, hehehe... Plus, they "scream" a lot during sex...

Hahaha, great response PHX.

...but also love sex toys, talking about kinky sexual things (e.g. good handcuffed positions), etc..

:D

Why handcuffed? (Just curious)

[rabidbadger]

...
Sexuality is healthy to talk about, but these forums are more tech-oriented, and my topic kinda exploded, so I thought moderator might remove it. But, it's still alive, it's stilll good...

Our Mods are pretty cool about such discussions as long as there is no profane language or explicit content. And keep it in "general" and all will be fine. We have had many discussions here: shave down there, hot girl/guys, and the infamous (but ultimately innocent) orgy thread.

Not to worry as long as it is teen friendly*. (rarely have kids here, and they get bored quick and leave)

*teen friendly My definition): If it can be said on primetime network TV, it is ok on Rev3


(Heck, Diggnation itself has crossed that barrier a couple thousand times! :) )

[rabidbadger]

Back to your original post:

are you sure "your girlfriend forgot to delete her browsing history." forgot being the opperative word. May be she wanted you to find it?

[muffins]

Short version: If you have to watch porn while in a relationship... :\

I can't say its the best thing in the world. If anything porn just raises your mental standards (you always see the best looking males/females in porn [for the most part]) and then it can only be a letdown when you get intimate. Not saying the couple wouldn't love each other as much anymore its just the standards for sex have been raised.

I don't think it means you're under performing necessarily (seriously its hard to be perfect in bed when you can only feel for yourself) it just the natural instincts to look at attractive people.

[danielus]

This is what happened today at my work!

There is one heavy 23 year old woman (employee) sitting just accross my office. We have many small offices, it's a call center. Anyways, on a break, we talked some dirty stuff, and she mentioned something about her friend.

I joked: "Is your friend single?" She said: "Yeah, she's single, but has a low self-esteem." Then I said: "I can raise her self-esteem... in my bed." Then this visually unappealing bag of oil told me: "Why dont' you do that to me? Why don't you raise my self-esteem."

Basicaly, she asked me to bone her.... I was stunned. Hell no! Hell no!

Not to offend her, I replied: "Naaah... I don't do that to my friends."