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Old 04-29-2012, 12:10 PM
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Default Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13 and PS3: A Marriage Made in Hell

I just had a virtual root canal, in the form of putting my face in the new Tiger Woods game, that I'd like to share so others may go into the process psychologically prepared and don't end up retreating into a fantasy world like that guy in the movie Brazil (Spoiler and run-on sentence alert!).

I started by having the usual troubles navigating with the Move. Nothing I haven't gone through before and I'm still smiling. I go to create my character and the Game Face option reminds me that I had uploaded pictures for a TW game a few of years ago. My friend's turned out perfect, while mine looked like my offspring if I had somehow been able to impregnate Sloth from The Goonies. I figured the technology must have improved and I still had the pics on my computer, so I'd give it another go. First, they had me install the Unity Engine. No problem. I go back in and they want to install an EA plugin. No prob... wait. I have to close my web browser to install. OK... So, I upload the pics and do all the tweaking they ask and it says it could take 10 minutes to render depending on my computer. It takes less than 4. Score! My 3D avatar looks just like me. I go back to the Game Face menu (which isn't compatible with the Move, so I used my Sony DVD Remote) and the remote isn't responding. Wait.. it is, but only the PS button and a couple others, but not the X or O buttons I so desperately need. While I'm pushing buttons that aren't working, I hit the eject button and it does work. I put the disc in and try again. I go into Game Face and it says I have no pictures uploaded. I log out of the account on my computer. No change. I figure maybe I have to put in my online pass code (ah, progress) in order to use the online functions. The code is entered with Sony's brilliant method of breaking each set of numbers up so they are entered separately. Again nothing. I go back into game face and find that the face I completed was only for my avatar on easports.com, and there was a separate upload for face pics for EA Games. What!? Ok, I upload them again and come out to find that the DVD remote isn't working again. I try a controller both plugged in and wireless. Exit..reload. I go back in to create my character, which I have had to re-enter my name for at least the fifth time because I didn't save my incomplete character each time (both first and last - required) . My pics are finally in there. Joy! I choose my front facing pic and... I have to set the pointers all over again. Missing my mouse like never before, I'm pressing the directional pad and the pointer is moving slower than the plot to The Killing (Spoiler!). I look to the instructions at the bottom and don't see a Turbo Button. I try the left stick and the pointer moves like I would expect. I could blame this one on myself, but I'm going to call it a temporary side effect of the involuntary twitching that's started in my right eye only minutes ago. So, I go through the process again and it says it could take 15 minutes to render. I started writing this and it just finished. I'd say closer to 30, but who's counting at this point? It certainly looks better than last time, but nowhere near as good as the one on the website avatar. Why not just make all the games import the avatar face? Now I look like I impregnated Sonny from I, Robot. This must be what Tara Reid feels like whenever she looks at her breasts in the mirror.

In closing, I believe the combined counter-intuitive tendencies of both EA and PSN constitute cruel and unusual punishment, and combined, violate the 8th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. My mind keeps returning to the latest Mel Gibson recording and in my mind's eye I see Mel pointing a Move controller at Eszterhas and his girlfriend as he's screaming. I feel your pain Mel, I feel your pain.
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Old 04-29-2012, 03:31 PM
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I was very, very tempted to buy that game, but I really, really don't want to support EA anymore than I already have. I think BF3 was the last thing I'll be buying from them. I do have the 2011 TW game and I recall having all sorts of problems just getting that to work with Move 2 years ago at Christmas when I got it. Haven't touched Move since. :/

Sucks you suffered so much just to get to play a relaxing game of golf in the comfort of your own living room, but hey... technology's a helluva drug, ain't it?
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Old 04-29-2012, 07:13 PM
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I was very, very tempted to buy that game, but I really, really don't want to support EA anymore than I already have. I think BF3 was the last thing I'll be buying from them. I do have the 2011 TW game and I recall having all sorts of problems just getting that to work with Move 2 years ago at Christmas when I got it. Haven't touched Move since. :/
BF3 was the last EA game I bought before this one as well. I bought last years TW and brought it to a friends house. The problem all 4 of us had was that on the back-swing, the golfer would hitch when the eye lost sight of the lighted ball behind our arms. I played an hour or so of the new game and that hasn't been the case so far. After losing my first versus match in 2 holes, I went to the Legacy Challenge mode where you play through his career from his first TV appearance as a child. One challenge has you chipping 3 balls into a kiddie pool in the backyard. Once I found the right swing, I tried the exact swing 2 more times and they all went in. I was never able to replicate swings like that in the Wii or previous PS3 games. So, I do have hope that the game itself will be worthwhile. Although between each challenge I had to choose Motion Controls and Left-Handedness from a menu that would come up. The swing stopped working all together at the start of one challenge. I thought that maybe the controller had to be recalibrated, but I couldn't find a way to do it in-game. Only by exiting the game to the PS3 settings. I must have missed something, because not having a way to do it from within the game when you could in Sports Champions (a Move launch title) would be too incompetent even for EA.... I hope.
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Old 04-30-2012, 12:01 AM
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Despite your post basically being you crying out in torment - it's fucking hilarious ! Thumbs up and respect for cracking me up Punk0. Sorry I can't help you technically, I'm ps3-less, but please write-up your next technical difficulty with the same approach, solely to entertain me of course.
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Old 04-30-2012, 07:14 PM
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Despite your post basically being you crying out in torment - it's fucking hilarious ! Thumbs up and respect for cracking me up Punk0. Sorry I can't help you technically, I'm ps3-less, but please write-up your next technical difficulty with the same approach, solely to entertain me of course.
Thanks. They say the best comedy comes from pain. I probably won't be playing again until the weekend, but I'll be getting a couple of friends involved. They drink, so I'm guessing some violence and/or destruction will ensue. TW games are more alcohol friendly than.. say.. Super Meat Boy, but I've read complaints about the putting having no meter, and intoxication mixed with 5 putting (with the obligatory pointing and laughing) could end up in another Fight Club. Actually, it will probably be more like Sumotori Dreams.
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Old 04-30-2012, 07:56 PM
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Thanks. They say the best comedy comes from pain. I probably won't be playing again until the weekend, but I'll be getting a couple of friends involved. They drink, so I'm guessing some violence and/or destruction will ensue. TW games are more alcohol friendly than.. say.. Super Meat Boy, but I've read complaints about the putting having no meter, and intoxication mixed with 5 putting (with the obligatory pointing and laughing) could end up in another Fight Club. Actually, it will probably be more like Sumotori Dreams.
I used to play TW online for PS2 so I feel a relation of your pain. I also played Fight Night hardcore...... and I mean HARDCORE - my record was a grand total of 10'000+ fight for fight night 3 and about 5000 for fight nights 1 & 2. EA destroyed that game. Fight Night 1 was the best and then each iteration got worse. It went from sim to arcade and online became an exploitation of the game design's faults. But, about drinking and gamerage -I found I could box for 3 hours and at the end of it find a pile of beercans on the coffee table and realise I wasn't feeling any of them, because I was spending the drunken energy on cognitive process. I was burning the alcohol effects planning boxing strategies and flying on quicktwitch reaction times faster than I could put it in my body. Actually, I never drink as fast as when I used to play fight night online, and never felt less buzzed. Luckily I had online homies who I knew didn't cheat and were quite a mental challenge and I enjoyed the gamerage. I don't drink much when I'm drinking either, so it was always a shock to see how much I drank while gaming online.
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Old 05-03-2012, 11:51 PM
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The code is entered with Sony's brilliant method of breaking each set of numbers up so they are entered separately.
I do love that they do that.

I tried the facemaker in 12, using the PSEye...it does not work well with a beard.
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Old 05-05-2012, 02:15 AM
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@heyseuss
I never owned an original Xbox, so I never tried FN 1 or 2. I think 4 was actually the only one I tried. Did you give FN Champion a try? I remember it getting pretty good reviews when it came out.

@damnedeyez
I never had the guts to try it with the Eye. I took pics with a digital camera with nothing but a bare white wall behind me and uploaded them to the EA Sports site.

Well, I just gave it another shot. I calibrated the Move before I put the game in and everything worked great for the first challenge, other than the fact that I failed miserably. I restarted and the Move didn't want to work. I picked up the PS3 controller that I had plugged in and it wouldn't do anything. It worked once I unplugged it from the PS3. I plugged it in because I have the controller set to power off after not being used for a certain amount of time. The problem, which I remember from last years TW, is that once the controller powers down, the game pauses and makes you turn it back on. EA treats me so badly that if it were a woman I'd probably fall in love with her against my better judgement. Anyway, I go into the menu and there IS a calibrate option. I calibrated it and went back to the game. The Move still didn't want to work. I started pushing random buttons, and somewhere around Start/Select the controller started working again. I tried the challenge again and did even worse. After my 5th putt on the second hole, I decided to restart again. This time the swing wouldn't work right. I recalibrate and it doesn't help. I'm wondering now that I'm typing this if it reverted to right-handed since it didn't ask me like it did every time I waited to actually fail the challenge. The TW engine has always been a glitchy mess and I think they've just tried to build on that mess when they should have built an entirely new engine. It's also always been the best golf sim out there. So, I keep coming back when I know shouldn't. I keep lying to my family and saying that my black eye came from someone opening a door into it when they know I'm in an abusive relationship. This game should come with the number to a battered gamer hotline. I should be playing with friends tomorrow night. If you don't hear from me again, tell the authorities that I took pictures and hid them on the EA servers.
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Old 05-09-2012, 09:08 PM
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Well... It went about as expected. After 3 holes on the Par 3 course, I was 4 over, one friend was around ten over, and the other was 19 over. Positioning the target with the Move is difficult to get the hang of and even harder to explain to someone who's been drinking. My friend wielded the Move with all the grace of Rodney Dangerfield dancing in Caddyshack. I did realize why EA made the decision to ask if you want to use motion controls between every match or challenge: They realized many people will be dropping their Move controllers into the garbage disposal in frustration.

I just finished playing solo, and with more time spent putting I've come to the conclusion that the motion controls are NOT as precise as they should be. I swallowed my pride (which conveniently is currently the size of a Claritin tab) and dropped the difficulty to Novice. Still no luck getting any kind of consistent putting range down. I want to love motion controls, but they just don't work as advertised. Not the Move, not Wii Motion Plus, and certainly not Kinect. Although I do think there is potential for the Kinect to revolutionize the point and click adventure - which they will never bother to do. The key is using a combination of controller and hand motions to grab and manipulate objects.

I digress. I've decided that TW 13 is only worth playing with the Move in a party setting - and only with non-violent types. I went to the regular controller, and on Novice it's still not easy. The computer opponent in my first training excercise in a VS match was dropping in at either Par or Birdie. There's a ton of content though, and if I have the time I'm going to try and get into it. I've put in too much effort to just give up at this point. Hope I was able to give some insight into the game for anyone on the fence about it.
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