Alas good people of the Internet. Today, I'm sounding a warning.

I've long held the suspicion that America might be falling behind the rest of the world. Not in riches, military might or prestige, although arguments could be made for all of the above, but I'm talking about a category less easily defined and, in my book, infinitely more important.

We're falling behind in the critical category of upper class, artistic weirdness.

Sure, we still have Burning Man, Lou Reed and CocoRosie, but I fear that our drive to create true weirdness at the high art level is all but dried up.

This giant marionette doll is the terrible proof that we, as a nation, are no longer world leaders when it comes to the time-honored art of carefully choreographed weirdness.

Where are our puppets? As close as we come here is our army of the shitty air dancers who wave and dip without reason or cadence on our miles of sprawling car lots and outback steakhouse parking lots...

So America, do something about it. Send me videos of Americans doing horrifyingly weird things, and I'll make them Internet Superstars. Send them to martin at revision3 dot com

Thank you.