Forcing animals to do human things can achieve dramatic results in your day-to-day life.

Take it from Martin Sargent, a seasoned television veteran, that animals doing human things drives huge ratings.

That's why this YouTube video of Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey has gotten so many views, and since then a sponsorship deal with the Taco John chain of restaurants.

But now, thanks to Internet, the popularity boost you get when you force animals to do human things against their will need not be limited to the entertainment world. In fact, I've begun to tap its power in my everyday life.

For example, you have no idea how much tail I've started getting ever since I invested in a few kitty wigs from KittyWigs.com. These things are amazing! Every girl on the street comes up to me to and can't help but start to pet that pink pussy hair.

And it's not just good for getting chicks, either. I've made a lot of tight homies, and even was invited to join a cool street gang, after I started dressing my dog in armor from pitbullarmory.com. Kind of makes me wish Michael Vick wasn't in prison because my dog could fight his, and mine would win, because my dog wears armor.

Obviously we're running low, so if you have a nomination for an Internet Superstar, send it to martin at revision3 dot com.

 

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