One after the other, Martin Sargent's shows-on television, on cell phones, and online-have been brutally cancelled. When his most recent effort, Infected by Martin Sargent, was axed by Revision3 CEO Jim Louderback, Martin finally cracked. At the show's final taping, Martin doused himself in... Read More
A creepy gnome is terrorizing a small town in Argentina. But it's nothing compared to the horror of Martin's childhood clown friend, Mr. Tim.
According to Internet, a town in South America is living in fear after several sightings of a 'creepy gnome' that locals claim stalks the streets at night.
The midget - which wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk - was caught on video last week by a terrified group of youngsters.
Teenager Jose Alvarez - who filmed the gnome - yesterday told national newspaper El Tribuno that they caught the creature while hanging around in their hometown of General Guemes in the province of Salta, Argentina.
Well Jose, that gnome is a little creepy, I'll give you that, but it's nowhere near as creepy as the clown friend I had as a child who used to terrorize me.
My parents used to say he was imaginary... but I got this video of him:
His name was Mr. Tim and, no, he didn't wear a pointy hat or only come out at night. I wasn't that lucky. Mr. Tim was my near constant companion, and usually didn't wear anything at all. He mostly walked around naked. And he didn't limp either. Mr. Tim was actually intensely fast. Fast enough to catch up with a bike or car moving at full speed. There was no outrunning Mr. Tim.
And he was nimble... there was no lock that could keep him out and no window he couldn't open. And he told me things... things to do. Terrible things. He told me that my neighbor's cat was evil and had to "go away" and that I needed to put sugar in the tank of my dad's new Buick Regal and that I should pour scalding hot water on all my mom's house plants and put my sister's hamsters in the disposal... too many things to count. Mr. Tim made me a bad boy.
And here's a secret... he still speaks to me... I can't tell you what he says, but I can say it's going to be big. Soon the whole world will know about Mr. Tim and Martin Sargent!
So... the next time you people down in South America get scared at your pointy hat midget gnome, think about something really terrifying, my gnome, Mr. Tim. But, for the sake of making people aware of the dangers of gnomes... this gnome in Argentina is today's Internet Superstar.
Have a nomination for an Internet Superstar? Send it to martin at revision3 dot com.