A looner is somebody with a balloon fetish. That's right, someone who derives sexual gratification from balloons.

But here's the important thing: Internet is lousy with looners!

And believe it or not, there are actually two competing camps of looners. Those who get off by seeing the balloons popped, and those who think a busted balloon is about as big of a sexual turn for the worse as a busted condom.

But those two mainstream groups of looners are too pedestrian for this show. That's right, Internet Superstar likes to really slum it, spelunking the darkest, grimiest caverns of Internet smut.

And therefore I unveil for you today the smoking looners! Yes, these are people who get all frothed up by watching girls and balloons (http://www.balloonfetishvideos.com/balloon-videos/cig-pop-revenge.htm), who also want to see the girls engaging in a filthy, deadly, but oh so pleasurable habit.

And the bitch of it is, though a dark sub-group of the shockingly popular looner fetish, smoking looners aren't even that underground. I'm serious! Go for it, hot shot! Do a Google or YouTube search on balloons and smoking, and prepare to be shocked by how many results you get. So many results that you have to believe that at least one of your close friends, co-workers, family members or fellow parishioners is secretly sickly deep into smoking and balloons.

And that's why smoking looners, and very likely your good friend Rick, are today's Internet Superstars.

Have a nomination for an Internet Superstar? Send it to martin at revision3 dot com