There are times, friends, when Martin Sargent dreams of making a change in life, a change that would allow me to live to the ripe age of senior citizenship. In this dream I stop eating Carl's Jr. and Hot Pockets for breakfast lunch and dinner, and I throw off the scourge of brown liquor and fast women, allowing me to live deep into my 90s. And in this dream, when I become all withered and decrepit and old, I have all the spunk and go gettem' attitude of this elderly lady I found on Internet.

Here she is singing the Bob Marley song "Buffalo Soldier."

Oh, and in that dream I have a Rascal Scooter that I use to cruise around the nursing home causing mischief. I think it could be a good reality show.

If you have a nomination for an Internet Superstar send it to martin at revision 3 dot com.