Facebook, Rectums, Farting and Fatness
Sunday, July 19th, 2009 running time 11:41
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on Facebook, public farting, racism, rudeness, and Catholic Schools.
Seven nights a week, RooftopComedy.com records live stand-up comedy all around the world and brings you the best of it. These are our favorite jokes about Facebook, public farting, racism, rudeness, Catholic Schools, and a bunch of other hilarious, disgusting, true stuff. I'm sure you have some hilarious jokes about that stuff too, but trust me, this is better. For more jokes that are better than yours, head over to RooftopComedy.com.
Comedians
Paul LaKamp, Lachlan Patterson, Ryan Padilla, Caitlin Gill, Kevin Camia, Dan Cummins, Andy Ritchie, Reid Faylor, Kermet Apio, Lisa Landry
Highlights
high school
(
11:08
)
jodie foster
(
9:10
)
side effects
(
7:13
)
netflix
(
7:54
)
Automatically Generated Transcript(may not be 100% accurate) ( more )
" I added that doctor about three months ago waiting outside to get my car look fast. -- I got the exam you know that they stand resorts ask me is no question that any political stormy discomfort -- that and it does. You never exerted any foreign objects into your rectum. They know barrel American objects. And does that matter all of."
" This episode. In my grades. They -- Got from my mom. Still got like wood paneling on the side I -- She's doing it. -- My my quick hits fifty buttons on it okay fifty beat that. One of the buttons. Plate of food that's an actual button. For the conquer all those other buttons floor. I got a plate of food. Why is there potato. I don't even use the plate of food but I do it every human being does that this 100 start. Meg gonna put my finger in the food and it's still quote a slam the bush had -- when there's there's start again. Right."
" But. You can."
" I don't know why but I still can't wait the whole second minute I get way -- hungry. It's like two days and -- and isn't pump. The -- pocket let's go."
" I've had about enough of FaceBook and why you guys. I need an update my status anymore. Killing my friends to a formula consciously taken pictures and I'm wasted right. So they got a picture and antagonize you drunk at a bar. Further gonna tell get a picture of the time you held open a door for Clinton elderly people get up a -- time. Three you pass out on the floor with your hand on -- fans if you got your share. Of friends -- for. Obviously -- FaceBook look at some of these pictures thinking to myself you know. But as for the same outfit same T shirt and jeans. Going to take me as many pictures as he wants to know -- god had one really crazy enough interface. And how to get Ryan in this picture of the clean shaven face. In this picture of the huge beard thing outfit though."
" This is only drinking really early that day."
" So I will spend a few odd days a week and a coffee shop got to write Ziggy recovered. And that's kind of nice I like it but we're gonna talk to show up which means like constantly. Greek like copy. Does anyone else suffered this anybody spent their time in recent -- nobody else you'll have careers great thanks kind of virus. Rather then looking don't know you stink like coffee all the time if you're gonna copy shop and you drink way to much company. So I'm also -- all of the time. As a result of working. In a coffee shop -- I have mastered the art of public fired. We really felt. A lot like mastering the art of not caring what people around me here personnel. It's okay."
" green idea for a website. Yeah and go and your avatar would be a space in land and you can trade with other members of the web site using virtual currency. I was gonna college Starbucks stock come. So I went to godaddy. And it was taken. But you can reliable secure web hosting without the long term contract godaddy hosting plans are bigger and better than ever with 99% up time. Free 24 sevenths support and no annual commitment. He hit that Starbucks dot com you can back out at any time. Be sure to check out revision3.com. Slash godaddy for all of -- godaddy deals in coats. And do not check out Starbucks dot com. If you're looking for a place to pretend to be an alien with some money."
" Let me. -- California. The home life whenever Anderson racism and Elena man. Never earnest and I want -- little boy this could chase me home school loses yelling at me. His IA. Lets go home make sure ice. Because I had a summit -- There. Have you know I was hungry man that's amazing you -- He's I saw you -- that -- small penis. -- and who else yes I think yeah. You know because -- seven -- And I think we I'll do okay. It be weird if we didn't. -- there's a seven year old lug around legal -- away at. Maybe their car. Without this change to see you."
" I got the job tough jobs I worked in an ad agency for this next up for work. And we've. -- We're developing anti cavity commercials for children and I got fired for digital concept of the two Kremlin. Just don't believe. I don't like has depleted the juice they've put under their pillow had a cavity. They don't get rewarded. For that horse yet. When the team -- that garbage doesn't give money she calls to Gramm went in and he comes over resolve the rest -- he kills her parents. Buster got their teeth."
" The program. I don't know what I did to deserve this this thing going out lately and I I don't know for some reason people seem to think that it's OK to not respond to me when I talk to them. All the time and -- there ask a question I just don't say anything in return is completely side effects were you when you heard me. Think like what I'm saying you television shoppers they don't like what I'm saying but at least acknowledged that I'm talking. You know especially if it's just -- do."
" There's an awkward situation it is only as I speak you don't say anything but just in general my big. Like Jesus Christ -- answer my question."
" Does -- Get -- weird yeah."
" You like my shirt. -- we'll tell -- words from. And I've been going movie by movie on Netflix trying to figure out what movie it's from. Netflix has over 100000 titles and shipping centers across the country saying you get most titles within one business day. Go to netflix.com slash brothel for -- no risk two week free trial membership. I'm wasn't breaking new."
" Here's another fun fact for you things they're adorable stop being adorable when they haven't done."
" I -- toddler that toddler a gun."
" You know before the all adorable new squeeze then implement trousers or something put the gun."
" Here he's looked kinda thing is that there's no Santa and you're gonna -- there's no tomorrow."
" her -- and you look at me kinda cute they're big bushy beard and round science. Keep putting -- gun in my hand and selling this be it starts looking creepy. Those pictures I have the Jodie Foster on the wall they ticket turned the sinister look out Reagan. I think I think the only exception to this -- opium poppy you know. He put it if you put a gun and a -- is upon us look at it it thinks it's people."
" It just shot me."
" In the heart."
" Because of the department store could give -- your different quite right but I liked it so I necessarily give anything a little bigger than this. And you exit Biggio is. Oh you need big and tall store. Okay thank you -- motivational speaker. I'm gonna go ahead and watch a lot of your story that. Sorry about the knuckle marks on your carpet there. I thought you clothing giant penguins that is my bad. I just get an area -- in some duct tape thank you for a wonderful day who. You know how disheartening it is a find out you were the department stores draw that line even. We will close human beings. Until that walks in right there. Please just make a door I can't fit in it would be easier."
" It -- a lot because I was raised Catholic. Yeah. Does that reputation like all they -- think about is saying you know while everything has to Catholic high schools that's with a rumor starts. Visited girls' school this -- young ladies again it's respectable. And then this let's let girls' school on the other side of the that's an hour -- Tuition is cheaper. Public archbishop blank all girls Catholic high school we had 300 girls in my high school and one virgin that's all we head. Wine is due out on the front lawn."
" The -- different yeah."
" I added that doctor about three months ago waiting outside to get my car look fast. -- I got the exam you know that they stand resorts ask me is no question that any political stormy discomfort -- that and it does. You never exerted any foreign objects into your rectum. They know barrel American objects. And does that matter all of."
" This episode. In my grades. They -- Got from my mom. Still got like wood paneling on the side I -- She's doing it. -- My my quick hits fifty buttons on it okay fifty beat that. One of the buttons. Plate of food that's an actual button. For the conquer all those other buttons floor. I got a plate of food. Why is there potato. I don't even use the plate of food but I do it every human being does that this 100 start. Meg gonna put my finger in the food and it's still quote a slam the bush had -- when there's there's start again. Right."
" But. You can."
" I don't know why but I still can't wait the whole second minute I get way -- hungry. It's like two days and -- and isn't pump. The -- pocket let's go."
" I've had about enough of FaceBook and why you guys. I need an update my status anymore. Killing my friends to a formula consciously taken pictures and I'm wasted right. So they got a picture and antagonize you drunk at a bar. Further gonna tell get a picture of the time you held open a door for Clinton elderly people get up a -- time. Three you pass out on the floor with your hand on -- fans if you got your share. Of friends -- for. Obviously -- FaceBook look at some of these pictures thinking to myself you know. But as for the same outfit same T shirt and jeans. Going to take me as many pictures as he wants to know -- god had one really crazy enough interface. And how to get Ryan in this picture of the clean shaven face. In this picture of the huge beard thing outfit though."
" This is only drinking really early that day."
" So I will spend a few odd days a week and a coffee shop got to write Ziggy recovered. And that's kind of nice I like it but we're gonna talk to show up which means like constantly. Greek like copy. Does anyone else suffered this anybody spent their time in recent -- nobody else you'll have careers great thanks kind of virus. Rather then looking don't know you stink like coffee all the time if you're gonna copy shop and you drink way to much company. So I'm also -- all of the time. As a result of working. In a coffee shop -- I have mastered the art of public fired. We really felt. A lot like mastering the art of not caring what people around me here personnel. It's okay."
" green idea for a website. Yeah and go and your avatar would be a space in land and you can trade with other members of the web site using virtual currency. I was gonna college Starbucks stock come. So I went to godaddy. And it was taken. But you can reliable secure web hosting without the long term contract godaddy hosting plans are bigger and better than ever with 99% up time. Free 24 sevenths support and no annual commitment. He hit that Starbucks dot com you can back out at any time. Be sure to check out revision3.com. Slash godaddy for all of -- godaddy deals in coats. And do not check out Starbucks dot com. If you're looking for a place to pretend to be an alien with some money."
" Let me. -- California. The home life whenever Anderson racism and Elena man. Never earnest and I want -- little boy this could chase me home school loses yelling at me. His IA. Lets go home make sure ice. Because I had a summit -- There. Have you know I was hungry man that's amazing you -- He's I saw you -- that -- small penis. -- and who else yes I think yeah. You know because -- seven -- And I think we I'll do okay. It be weird if we didn't. -- there's a seven year old lug around legal -- away at. Maybe their car. Without this change to see you."
" I got the job tough jobs I worked in an ad agency for this next up for work. And we've. -- We're developing anti cavity commercials for children and I got fired for digital concept of the two Kremlin. Just don't believe. I don't like has depleted the juice they've put under their pillow had a cavity. They don't get rewarded. For that horse yet. When the team -- that garbage doesn't give money she calls to Gramm went in and he comes over resolve the rest -- he kills her parents. Buster got their teeth."
" The program. I don't know what I did to deserve this this thing going out lately and I I don't know for some reason people seem to think that it's OK to not respond to me when I talk to them. All the time and -- there ask a question I just don't say anything in return is completely side effects were you when you heard me. Think like what I'm saying you television shoppers they don't like what I'm saying but at least acknowledged that I'm talking. You know especially if it's just -- do."
" There's an awkward situation it is only as I speak you don't say anything but just in general my big. Like Jesus Christ -- answer my question."
" Does -- Get -- weird yeah."
" You like my shirt. -- we'll tell -- words from. And I've been going movie by movie on Netflix trying to figure out what movie it's from. Netflix has over 100000 titles and shipping centers across the country saying you get most titles within one business day. Go to netflix.com slash brothel for -- no risk two week free trial membership. I'm wasn't breaking new."
" Here's another fun fact for you things they're adorable stop being adorable when they haven't done."
" I -- toddler that toddler a gun."
" You know before the all adorable new squeeze then implement trousers or something put the gun."
" Here he's looked kinda thing is that there's no Santa and you're gonna -- there's no tomorrow."
" her -- and you look at me kinda cute they're big bushy beard and round science. Keep putting -- gun in my hand and selling this be it starts looking creepy. Those pictures I have the Jodie Foster on the wall they ticket turned the sinister look out Reagan. I think I think the only exception to this -- opium poppy you know. He put it if you put a gun and a -- is upon us look at it it thinks it's people."
" It just shot me."
" In the heart."
" Because of the department store could give -- your different quite right but I liked it so I necessarily give anything a little bigger than this. And you exit Biggio is. Oh you need big and tall store. Okay thank you -- motivational speaker. I'm gonna go ahead and watch a lot of your story that. Sorry about the knuckle marks on your carpet there. I thought you clothing giant penguins that is my bad. I just get an area -- in some duct tape thank you for a wonderful day who. You know how disheartening it is a find out you were the department stores draw that line even. We will close human beings. Until that walks in right there. Please just make a door I can't fit in it would be easier."
" It -- a lot because I was raised Catholic. Yeah. Does that reputation like all they -- think about is saying you know while everything has to Catholic high schools that's with a rumor starts. Visited girls' school this -- young ladies again it's respectable. And then this let's let girls' school on the other side of the that's an hour -- Tuition is cheaper. Public archbishop blank all girls Catholic high school we had 300 girls in my high school and one virgin that's all we head. Wine is due out on the front lawn."
" The -- different yeah."
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mari1ee
Started discussion: July 20, 2009 @ 9:45am GMT
Episode 11: Facebook, Rectums, Farting and Fatness [Discussion]
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on Facebook, public farting, racism, rudeness, and Catholic Schools.
Watch or download this episode now!














I don't comment on this show often, it reminds me of CC's "Premium Blend". Not my favorite either. I like full acts by stand ups. Helps you find the better ones right off the bat.
For anyone that has been featured, the best acts, (Something I still struggle to write), make a great joke that gets great laughs, then refer back to it near or at the end. For some reason, that works every time.
I look forward to more.