What is there not to get? ... It wasn't the best joke but it was simple.
Bras, Being Drunk and Wizzing
Sunday, August 16th, 2009 running time 14:15
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on cars, technology, kids, and cats.
Segments
Seven nights a week, RooftopComedy.com records live stand-up comedy all around the world and brings you the best of it. These are our favorite jokes about cars, technology, kids, cats, and a bunch of other hilarious, disgusting, true stuff. I'm sure you have some hilarious jokes about that stuff too, but trust me, this is better.
Comedians
Eric Nigg, Tommy Johnagin, Jeremy Essig, Alex Koll, TJ Miller, John Conroy, Isaac Witty, Alex Nussbaum, Chris Porter, Erik Allen
Mini Emergency Tool Kit
Tommy Johnagin is covered with his miniature emergency tool kit in case his car breaks down... and then shrinks.
President in 2038
Jeremy Essig shares his idea about how technology in 2038 is going to screw the President that year.
Chipotle Shenanigans
Erik Allen witnesses an epic brawl between a three-year-old and his mom over the undying love of Chipotle.
Old Childhood Toys
Alex Nussbaum never had a Nintendo, but his old Matryoshka dolls don't even compare.
Don't miss next week's episode of ROFL right here on Revision3!
For more jokes that are better than yours, head over to RooftopComedy.com
Highlights
colin white
(
2:14
)
chuck berry
(
3:21
)
netflix
(
3:56
)
intercom system
(
9:25
)
Automatically Generated Transcript(may not be 100% accurate) ( more )
" This summer I've been putting missing campus is up my neighborhood. Not because I think -- they went missing. I just want someone to deliver it free cash to my doing. That fits my exact specifications. You know why should I be out looking for miles. When my name is conducive for."
" I'll get a miniature emergency toolkit for my car miniature. Emergency tool kit in case my car breaks down and then shrinks. I'm greatly. And let the streets with my car in the ratio stays the same. I'm not sure how magic work they do -- gift receipt work so. That's probably the best thing in that box. But even had to use the minister told -- take -- pick me up a broken down but don't worry about hacking your tiny socket Rich's John Higgins got its own. Authorities started working on the car got the radio out and -- tighten the framed the my glasses. Please carry this tiny Blake if that's keeping me warm."
" It's completely -- president by the way. I'm not the current one. My guess is ever present when he thirty days giving completely -- biotechnology. He's our president 2038 right now is likely either ice or college if you do math. Which means they have a FaceBook page."
" Every media thing may use someone you don't have the maturity there forever."
" Yeah we're trying to get some of the Internet (%expletive) impossible and mustard statements should be there. -- campaign -- the don't before you just your rumors -- you like -- the president did Colin White creating your -- a picture of it. You're the director's name -- does not that's my screen saver."
" Coaching it is athletic as my father I'm clearly not things. It's 36 think. Sources have ever gotten is I want freshwater snorkeling with some rented equipment and I got a nasty case of graphics face which is disgusting. Yeah I don't wish that anybody but I also roommate this kind of hippie. She's an organic revenue she told me the very best way to treat athlete's foot I don't know if you know this. He is to urinate on your own thing. Yeah I didn't like which was implying even -- I went to a doctor. And keep you know my face forming."
" Because that's all my health care coverage."
" My health -- are killing --"
" Logically and if you love you plug it up. That's what you want sitting -- that's what you're running. -- disgusting joke if you're older though it's Chuck Berry and if you're older. If your older than that has been Franklin thank you know that fits you know that Ben Franklin did that no I didn't there's no proof of that whatsoever."
" Are you fans of the Ronald."
" Yeah."
" Netflix has over 100000 titles and shipping centers across the country's leading get most titles than one business day. Go to netflix.com slash problem for -- no risk two week free trial membership. Yeah I bet dominoes I god."
" I -- not because I parts of poetry books fantastic book I was there getting Jennifer brigades and I was there -- actually saw mom and an argument with her three year old which blew my mind you know because it's almost like we have to go and Israel kids like oh. And mostly Chlumsky constantly do this -- Yeah and then a monster and negotiating with the three year old it was like no it's gonna smear machine to have to detract from the food groceries. Material she was like stay. I liked his kids were just pummel me that's -- We'll play -- plan that and then what happens is the mom sat down. Yeah because she lost an argument to Israel. Here -- target. If you're ever in an argument -- somebody and you can pick them up you should always went. -- percent of the time. That's all the times. And that's what sponsors and bars is a big guys to sponsor comes up to me is like yeah. My hope he's gonna do one -- these -- big numbers engine like your -- right I'm sorry. Ouch yeah. I think that parents need to sort of went sponsors and treating their children -- should -- that they are right."
" Yeah. You drink on planes and of the guys like drink on plants. It's himself clapping from the back -- appreciated. Yeah you know whenever they land there as -- interference -- to be the first to welcome you to Dallas Texas -- you nineteen. These we are now arriving in Dallas and we appreciate your business here. We hope you'll fly with us again."
" What I do is right owner just about to land you know -- we're just not this time I go well yeah. I think yeah."
" His -- to get out of."
" I can't say because he sent."
" That I could steer away. United Airlines would be sent it to welcome you to Dallas Texas. Pinkston passenger -- Committed fifteen -- senators and -- sleep in the bathroom to restore it illustrates the concern."
" But I'm not gonna comedy -- and worked out at the mall America. And work get out Bubba Gump shrimp company. As a sir yeah. -- certain -- later tonight. At a locking down the side of the road and hearing your car feel free to hit me at a -- outlook instantly kill me. That's what it's like to work there. Passive aggressively trying to get myself fired at this point they might -- things. Does that -- up exactly fifteen minutes late to work every day. I just to show them that I can get somewhere at an exact time every day yeah. I just used to be late for their city job. Judy is that driver of that joke I got -- and."
" Yeah how. Do you. And what she can't be funny in. You and you haven't I. Haven't used it. He and many members cannot and no time because as free and there's -- pull out any. And you don't have to commit to it like it's stupid bullet. And you can check out Revision 3 that comes let's go to any bid comes with just aren't -- if you want to save. And auditor Rockwell godaddy deal isn't and discounts and -- did and I pretty. What I want you. As you mean. Today."
" I don't suggested they didn't -- that this guy likes to go grocery job thing. -- Mel and I think that's the best -- having a rags like the -- night date they totally do away with the intercom system to -- thing and now. Tell your knowledge is smart -- they -- flight service three observers Syria and that means something to the employees of homeland. Mind you other than all night they say exactly what they want said and they -- two times and yeah like. Yeah but I did I'm Bob I'll bring. The way it."
" Nine native -- down mob wanna file there it but the hype --"
" Okay that in my original carry on and tired -- season. We'll do that but yeah meant -- have fun the -- of the mob. Game."
" No I can't find. Yeah and -- But Bobby document into -- bottom there. Come -- and does -- trigger higher. Yeah you -- Clapp went home. And I think that's gonna get on the war. Okay. I'm not a problem at all. And and it -- I don't know war."
" You look employees we grew up with the new era but. Perfectly good choice. Don't bother looking for Nintendo and our home but there was always what bush did all right there have been you. You know the wooden -- you crack it open in the same useless all the smaller inside. Let's rushes give the little world. Children of that. As a lump those go to -- and we didn't. I imagine a guy like walking into Mattel you know like some but ambitious Russian salesman of the game. And I get into a body of oh my goodness is down and enjoy his movement today yeah girl. Well it works watch. Men -- red -- The only culprit is. The -- don't go anywhere and slap me because his body just get things done. -- and again. We're doing okay. And involvement smaller development of smaller up in smaller opens and get company. Disappointment. Good lesson for the children. And Asia Latin. -- No surprise ultimately let down. Like -- line. Yeah. I have hello listen this."
" I think bras or get out of hand -- just --"
" Appreciate us. Samir learned. --"
" I'm not saying we should get rid of the garment is all I'm just saying. It's get a little -- away -- itself perhaps trying to take -- brawl -- of groups just went with 800 pound. I can't add all I can't walk in here are the thirteen exhaust coming down a pain. Colonels like polish check out the -- torment you. Let me take me home I just let out throw it behind me. That that's its first war. Now. Final at thirteen inch sausage down my hand. Answer my back kills a bank standard even now. It's -- changed."
" And the truth the truth."
" This summer I've been putting missing campus is up my neighborhood. Not because I think -- they went missing. I just want someone to deliver it free cash to my doing. That fits my exact specifications. You know why should I be out looking for miles. When my name is conducive for."
" I'll get a miniature emergency toolkit for my car miniature. Emergency tool kit in case my car breaks down and then shrinks. I'm greatly. And let the streets with my car in the ratio stays the same. I'm not sure how magic work they do -- gift receipt work so. That's probably the best thing in that box. But even had to use the minister told -- take -- pick me up a broken down but don't worry about hacking your tiny socket Rich's John Higgins got its own. Authorities started working on the car got the radio out and -- tighten the framed the my glasses. Please carry this tiny Blake if that's keeping me warm."
" It's completely -- president by the way. I'm not the current one. My guess is ever present when he thirty days giving completely -- biotechnology. He's our president 2038 right now is likely either ice or college if you do math. Which means they have a FaceBook page."
" Every media thing may use someone you don't have the maturity there forever."
" Yeah we're trying to get some of the Internet (%expletive) impossible and mustard statements should be there. -- campaign -- the don't before you just your rumors -- you like -- the president did Colin White creating your -- a picture of it. You're the director's name -- does not that's my screen saver."
" Coaching it is athletic as my father I'm clearly not things. It's 36 think. Sources have ever gotten is I want freshwater snorkeling with some rented equipment and I got a nasty case of graphics face which is disgusting. Yeah I don't wish that anybody but I also roommate this kind of hippie. She's an organic revenue she told me the very best way to treat athlete's foot I don't know if you know this. He is to urinate on your own thing. Yeah I didn't like which was implying even -- I went to a doctor. And keep you know my face forming."
" Because that's all my health care coverage."
" My health -- are killing --"
" Logically and if you love you plug it up. That's what you want sitting -- that's what you're running. -- disgusting joke if you're older though it's Chuck Berry and if you're older. If your older than that has been Franklin thank you know that fits you know that Ben Franklin did that no I didn't there's no proof of that whatsoever."
" Are you fans of the Ronald."
" Yeah."
" Netflix has over 100000 titles and shipping centers across the country's leading get most titles than one business day. Go to netflix.com slash problem for -- no risk two week free trial membership. Yeah I bet dominoes I god."
" I -- not because I parts of poetry books fantastic book I was there getting Jennifer brigades and I was there -- actually saw mom and an argument with her three year old which blew my mind you know because it's almost like we have to go and Israel kids like oh. And mostly Chlumsky constantly do this -- Yeah and then a monster and negotiating with the three year old it was like no it's gonna smear machine to have to detract from the food groceries. Material she was like stay. I liked his kids were just pummel me that's -- We'll play -- plan that and then what happens is the mom sat down. Yeah because she lost an argument to Israel. Here -- target. If you're ever in an argument -- somebody and you can pick them up you should always went. -- percent of the time. That's all the times. And that's what sponsors and bars is a big guys to sponsor comes up to me is like yeah. My hope he's gonna do one -- these -- big numbers engine like your -- right I'm sorry. Ouch yeah. I think that parents need to sort of went sponsors and treating their children -- should -- that they are right."
" Yeah. You drink on planes and of the guys like drink on plants. It's himself clapping from the back -- appreciated. Yeah you know whenever they land there as -- interference -- to be the first to welcome you to Dallas Texas -- you nineteen. These we are now arriving in Dallas and we appreciate your business here. We hope you'll fly with us again."
" What I do is right owner just about to land you know -- we're just not this time I go well yeah. I think yeah."
" His -- to get out of."
" I can't say because he sent."
" That I could steer away. United Airlines would be sent it to welcome you to Dallas Texas. Pinkston passenger -- Committed fifteen -- senators and -- sleep in the bathroom to restore it illustrates the concern."
" But I'm not gonna comedy -- and worked out at the mall America. And work get out Bubba Gump shrimp company. As a sir yeah. -- certain -- later tonight. At a locking down the side of the road and hearing your car feel free to hit me at a -- outlook instantly kill me. That's what it's like to work there. Passive aggressively trying to get myself fired at this point they might -- things. Does that -- up exactly fifteen minutes late to work every day. I just to show them that I can get somewhere at an exact time every day yeah. I just used to be late for their city job. Judy is that driver of that joke I got -- and."
" Yeah how. Do you. And what she can't be funny in. You and you haven't I. Haven't used it. He and many members cannot and no time because as free and there's -- pull out any. And you don't have to commit to it like it's stupid bullet. And you can check out Revision 3 that comes let's go to any bid comes with just aren't -- if you want to save. And auditor Rockwell godaddy deal isn't and discounts and -- did and I pretty. What I want you. As you mean. Today."
" I don't suggested they didn't -- that this guy likes to go grocery job thing. -- Mel and I think that's the best -- having a rags like the -- night date they totally do away with the intercom system to -- thing and now. Tell your knowledge is smart -- they -- flight service three observers Syria and that means something to the employees of homeland. Mind you other than all night they say exactly what they want said and they -- two times and yeah like. Yeah but I did I'm Bob I'll bring. The way it."
" Nine native -- down mob wanna file there it but the hype --"
" Okay that in my original carry on and tired -- season. We'll do that but yeah meant -- have fun the -- of the mob. Game."
" No I can't find. Yeah and -- But Bobby document into -- bottom there. Come -- and does -- trigger higher. Yeah you -- Clapp went home. And I think that's gonna get on the war. Okay. I'm not a problem at all. And and it -- I don't know war."
" You look employees we grew up with the new era but. Perfectly good choice. Don't bother looking for Nintendo and our home but there was always what bush did all right there have been you. You know the wooden -- you crack it open in the same useless all the smaller inside. Let's rushes give the little world. Children of that. As a lump those go to -- and we didn't. I imagine a guy like walking into Mattel you know like some but ambitious Russian salesman of the game. And I get into a body of oh my goodness is down and enjoy his movement today yeah girl. Well it works watch. Men -- red -- The only culprit is. The -- don't go anywhere and slap me because his body just get things done. -- and again. We're doing okay. And involvement smaller development of smaller up in smaller opens and get company. Disappointment. Good lesson for the children. And Asia Latin. -- No surprise ultimately let down. Like -- line. Yeah. I have hello listen this."
" I think bras or get out of hand -- just --"
" Appreciate us. Samir learned. --"
" I'm not saying we should get rid of the garment is all I'm just saying. It's get a little -- away -- itself perhaps trying to take -- brawl -- of groups just went with 800 pound. I can't add all I can't walk in here are the thirteen exhaust coming down a pain. Colonels like polish check out the -- torment you. Let me take me home I just let out throw it behind me. That that's its first war. Now. Final at thirteen inch sausage down my hand. Answer my back kills a bank standard even now. It's -- changed."
" And the truth the truth."
mari1ee
Started discussion: August 16, 2009 @ 10:42pm GMT
Episode 15 - Bras, Being Drunk and Wizzing [Discussion]
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on cars, technology, kids, and cats.
Watch or download this episode now!
EnPe
3 months ago
In reply to oldarney:
What a weird ending, i didn't get his sausage 13 inch cock joke. Overall it was fantastic, without that crashlanding it may have been the funniest episode yet.
What is there not to get? ... It wasn't the best joke but it was simple.
xfuuey
3 months ago
yeah, another kickass episode. i'd like to see some more tj miller. he seems like a really funny comedian. :D
duckyboy1975
3 months ago
In reply to xfuuey:
yeah, another kickass episode. i'd like to see some more tj miller. he seems like a really funny comedian. :D
Yeah, TJ should really get more on-air time, dude is hilarious.
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Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. - Arthur Miller
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beyond that, i just finished my new website which leaves me with some time in my hands... i could make a script that replaces part of Mari1ee's job. ie, a script that copies the info from the videos page everytime something arrives on the rss feeds.