Vegan Girls, Creepy Guys, Cargo Vans, Pizza, and Break Up Passwords
Sunday, May 24th, 2009 running time 10:58
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on dating, gay pride, Obama, creepy guys, pizza, doctors, and that tasty food you eat at Thanksgiving.
Seven nights a week, RooftopComedy.com records live stand-up comedy all around the world and brings you the best of it. These are our favorite jokes about dating, gay pride, Obama, creepy guys, pizza, doctors, and a bunch of other hilarious, disgusting, true stuff. I'm sure you have some hilarious jokes about that stuff too, but trust me, this is better. For more jokes that are better than yours, head over to RooftopComedy.com.
Highlights
cooked food
(
8:16, 8:16
)
eat pizza
(
4:55, 5:23, 5:28, 4:55, 5:23, 5:28
)
Reverend Wright
(
3:13, 3:14, 3:13, 3:14
)
password
(
0:08, 0:36, 0:55, 1:04, 0:08, 0:36, 0:55, 1:04
)
cooked food
(
8:16, 8:16
)
eat pizza
(
4:55, 5:23, 5:28, 4:55, 5:23, 5:28
)
Reverend Wright
(
3:13, 3:14, 3:13, 3:14
)
password
(
0:08, 0:36, 0:55, 1:04, 0:08, 0:36, 0:55, 1:04
)
Automatically Generated Transcript(may not be 100% accurate) ( more )
" I did break out they go a little while ago and restated pretty good contact after we broke up. Stated pretty good contact in that I header email password in would check her account from time to time."
" that use have you given him your email password. You have. Would you that. Did -- it's still nice right that's what it happens it happens -- that -- is they have their relationship you know you just like David. Are you going -- king goes that you print something out for me not password is Garfield. Things -- I'll go up to that so reviewed you don't look you so much. But there's a little less they're in the back of his brain because I got my password. And he holds onto it and I felt perhaps like it more with a prize just waiting. Just waiting. You don't know that you remember the past where that's the thing you don't realize you remember it until she hooks up with someone else and then a little boys seems to whisperer Garfield."
" And -- it's time we gave gay couples the same rights everybody else -- and it may be the equivalent of parades. You know I can't take it seriously -- your winter -- through leather thing."
" Good."
" Gay pride only exist because they've been persecuted treated unfairly -- baker people who are right of them -- that translated that. A brilliant -- him. Who are you."
" This a lot of big news and on it and then about Barack like during the election also lady from Ohio and seems like."
" Is black becomes president. -- blacks just gonna take over."
" Why does the -- like you'll be given a speech I want to say to. All of the American people. Matt I am your mobile welcome president. Then -- the best of live -- what else that's okay. Yeah yeah yeah you can move to Mexico. Look at some -- the -- the Reverend Wright went with a big Reverend Wright went from people -- So Mia looked nervous -- gone."
" Yeah so I didn't do I guess resulting creepy thing sometimes. Like kid starts alienated this. That's ever not creating. However -- that much anything you say that just makes totally creepy it's like. Three is doing later. -- It could -- like forty bucks in your car. So here I see your pregnant. Maybe write songs --"
" And he's under our greatest always want to -- pizza bella pizza. It's fantastic but only eating pizza what other people because there is it's messed up you know I like it -- just meat and pizza. So -- down. Sometimes someone like Taylor to repeat some like sweet smell like hey how -- and my daughter really don't want opinions now Michael you can just pick them off. Thought you. Turns I wanted to eat pizza not perform GDP to surgery so we're not gonna. If you want to he's going to pizza we can also get some sharp glass on and you can work -- that stuff."
" I would my girlfriend. And I've noticed something no longer than I've dated this girl bit dumber this it is that we fight about. Like seriously we got into an argument about the way I eat pizza. Is that ridiculous. And it's only because I eat pizza I take the napkins and I presses down on top of the pizza to soak up all the degrees. Right but then I eat the napkins at that but I. And is hitting you guys and I. I don't have a girlfriend. That is surely the way --"
" Democratic it actually is in medical school. And well there again about it in our -- about how smart he is not much money's going to make. Elected not from -- time or spots along. You know what we -- in we that all that you. Let's get the ball well squeezed there -- What you do every day of prostate exams something. That your day your good name colony -- middle school of opium professional. I. We're just a couple days. Don't have some Beers and I want you to route around not. But for a lot. Doctor yeah download. In my --"
" We're having kids -- young guy had kids coming on this we're having kids and people -- white. Because of all why it's always creepy no matter what -- just did surprise you -- all like Skype Clark are each. Thank you insane when. Don't blame you so let it out right now you know it's true. What's courses I have the creepy guns. Sly smile it's just picture of me. At 10 o'clock in the morning a pair of sweatpants teacher and a cup of coffee and I'm always minds of -- perfect government data is obviously are not like any other here. Every bomb advantage apart quickly go let's -- to -- Some of the guys they line let's. Though."
" For a."
" Thank you get red and -- it."
" Bootlegs they're gonna give and go home cooked food and all that stuff up tying. You got that went -- And that he can't high and that sweep that tomatoes. Turkey. Turkey is the -- blunt. In my family we make a lot of people make a traditional interview email -- out again they get there. Yes. What -- if you haven't heard there where it is TJ game chicken and you put it inside but doctor. And you put it ducked inside of -- Turkey. Anything you put that Turkey inside alive grizzly bear. Yeah he rapid grizzly bear with the agent. All that shape the rare -- Okay. -- hardest part that is rewarding because nobody. Nobody enjoys bear hair and there are. --"
" I -- a girl she was my apartment -- she's also -- begins that's. Look him over before it started."
" I must talk to -- me in about you know hey stop Brian trying to eat."
" You know begins here god bless you don't learn and we don't need me that's fall. Mature -- don't want to be like I'll update we were here first. They're really in its forty years ago. You know why they all died in December that's. That try to keep you pitches -- winter's night there. Cotton -- over."
" Which areas and -- keep you warm that's fine you don't want to wear animal god bless you when we -- stay."
" Don't boom -- hits it's really not the only species and eats meat. Easy tigers attacked gazelle you don't see about to hit me tigers opted exotic prayer. Cutlery about a week. This means the latest soccer wanted to it's delicious eating. Any more fastballs -- I think came out of the ground."
" Truth the truth."
" I did break out they go a little while ago and restated pretty good contact after we broke up. Stated pretty good contact in that I header email password in would check her account from time to time."
" that use have you given him your email password. You have. Would you that. Did -- it's still nice right that's what it happens it happens -- that -- is they have their relationship you know you just like David. Are you going -- king goes that you print something out for me not password is Garfield. Things -- I'll go up to that so reviewed you don't look you so much. But there's a little less they're in the back of his brain because I got my password. And he holds onto it and I felt perhaps like it more with a prize just waiting. Just waiting. You don't know that you remember the past where that's the thing you don't realize you remember it until she hooks up with someone else and then a little boys seems to whisperer Garfield."
" And -- it's time we gave gay couples the same rights everybody else -- and it may be the equivalent of parades. You know I can't take it seriously -- your winter -- through leather thing."
" Good."
" Gay pride only exist because they've been persecuted treated unfairly -- baker people who are right of them -- that translated that. A brilliant -- him. Who are you."
" This a lot of big news and on it and then about Barack like during the election also lady from Ohio and seems like."
" Is black becomes president. -- blacks just gonna take over."
" Why does the -- like you'll be given a speech I want to say to. All of the American people. Matt I am your mobile welcome president. Then -- the best of live -- what else that's okay. Yeah yeah yeah you can move to Mexico. Look at some -- the -- the Reverend Wright went with a big Reverend Wright went from people -- So Mia looked nervous -- gone."
" Yeah so I didn't do I guess resulting creepy thing sometimes. Like kid starts alienated this. That's ever not creating. However -- that much anything you say that just makes totally creepy it's like. Three is doing later. -- It could -- like forty bucks in your car. So here I see your pregnant. Maybe write songs --"
" And he's under our greatest always want to -- pizza bella pizza. It's fantastic but only eating pizza what other people because there is it's messed up you know I like it -- just meat and pizza. So -- down. Sometimes someone like Taylor to repeat some like sweet smell like hey how -- and my daughter really don't want opinions now Michael you can just pick them off. Thought you. Turns I wanted to eat pizza not perform GDP to surgery so we're not gonna. If you want to he's going to pizza we can also get some sharp glass on and you can work -- that stuff."
" I would my girlfriend. And I've noticed something no longer than I've dated this girl bit dumber this it is that we fight about. Like seriously we got into an argument about the way I eat pizza. Is that ridiculous. And it's only because I eat pizza I take the napkins and I presses down on top of the pizza to soak up all the degrees. Right but then I eat the napkins at that but I. And is hitting you guys and I. I don't have a girlfriend. That is surely the way --"
" Democratic it actually is in medical school. And well there again about it in our -- about how smart he is not much money's going to make. Elected not from -- time or spots along. You know what we -- in we that all that you. Let's get the ball well squeezed there -- What you do every day of prostate exams something. That your day your good name colony -- middle school of opium professional. I. We're just a couple days. Don't have some Beers and I want you to route around not. But for a lot. Doctor yeah download. In my --"
" We're having kids -- young guy had kids coming on this we're having kids and people -- white. Because of all why it's always creepy no matter what -- just did surprise you -- all like Skype Clark are each. Thank you insane when. Don't blame you so let it out right now you know it's true. What's courses I have the creepy guns. Sly smile it's just picture of me. At 10 o'clock in the morning a pair of sweatpants teacher and a cup of coffee and I'm always minds of -- perfect government data is obviously are not like any other here. Every bomb advantage apart quickly go let's -- to -- Some of the guys they line let's. Though."
" For a."
" Thank you get red and -- it."
" Bootlegs they're gonna give and go home cooked food and all that stuff up tying. You got that went -- And that he can't high and that sweep that tomatoes. Turkey. Turkey is the -- blunt. In my family we make a lot of people make a traditional interview email -- out again they get there. Yes. What -- if you haven't heard there where it is TJ game chicken and you put it inside but doctor. And you put it ducked inside of -- Turkey. Anything you put that Turkey inside alive grizzly bear. Yeah he rapid grizzly bear with the agent. All that shape the rare -- Okay. -- hardest part that is rewarding because nobody. Nobody enjoys bear hair and there are. --"
" I -- a girl she was my apartment -- she's also -- begins that's. Look him over before it started."
" I must talk to -- me in about you know hey stop Brian trying to eat."
" You know begins here god bless you don't learn and we don't need me that's fall. Mature -- don't want to be like I'll update we were here first. They're really in its forty years ago. You know why they all died in December that's. That try to keep you pitches -- winter's night there. Cotton -- over."
" Which areas and -- keep you warm that's fine you don't want to wear animal god bless you when we -- stay."
" Don't boom -- hits it's really not the only species and eats meat. Easy tigers attacked gazelle you don't see about to hit me tigers opted exotic prayer. Cutlery about a week. This means the latest soccer wanted to it's delicious eating. Any more fastballs -- I think came out of the ground."
" Truth the truth."











