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Nudity, Health Care, Smoking, and Lady Parts

Sunday, September 27th, 2009 – running time 11:27
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on racism, nudity, healthcare, and ghosts.

Segments

Seven nights a week, RooftopComedy.com records live stand-up comedy all around the world and brings you the best of it. These are our favorite jokes about racism, nudity, healthcare, ghosts, and a bunch of other hilarious, disgusting, true stuff. I'm sure you have some hilarious jokes about that stuff too, but trust me, this is better. For more jokes that are better than yours, head over to RooftopComedy.com.

Rascist Haircut

Can you take little off the black... BACK! I MEANT BACK!

00:37

Play

Locker Room Nudity

Actually, I would prefer if you snapped me with a wet towel.

02:10

Play

The Making of Foam Soap

Foam soap instructions: Lather, rinse, repulse.

03:25

Play

American Healthcare

Sir, could you please stop coughing up blood and finish this paperwork?

06:06

Play

Mysterious Basement

Dungeons and Chambers are different yall, knowwhatImsayin?

06:50

Play

Smoke Breaks

Hey pervert! You know you have to do that at least five feet from the building, right?

08:39

Play

Old People at the Deli Counter

Lady, you were probably around when they invented meat.

09:36

Play

Amazing BBQ Ideas

Can I get a cock ring and a side of coleslaw?

10:29

Play

Comedians: Kevin Camia, David Huntsberger, Wali Collis, Ales Nussbaum, Eric Nigg, Mike Vecchione, TJ Miller, James Moore, Tom E, Tom Rhodes

Highlights

michael campbell: 9:30
stanley cup: 4:27
barbecue pork: 10:42
potato salad: 10:13

Automatically Generated Transcript

May not be 100% accurate

" A lot of fun things to do for free out being go to protest. Yeah protests out here are fun. Other countries when they protest they can furnish it in and flip over cars so we'll probably. Not out here in -- what would send more troops."

" Handing my stilts."

" Of their parents -- had a weird and it stays alive really vain he should get a bad haircut and it obviously isn't pretty sweet."

" I got my haircut an all black barber shop for the last time hacker and I know it sounds extraordinarily racist unless you're black dude and you know I'm not normal client he's the only black barbershop. Every Geithner knew that when I want didn't literally every -- shop just like really. Yeah you don't want mimic him as a -- a little -- people coming -- to you later."

" You plug in that guns don't like people to get out."

" That's what should happen. Was wrong spot and neither side is he dating. Embraces. And -- it is awkward standoff we're both just like. Get a job. Terrible -- an anti hate crime. -- I got on the Obama raises it I have."

" Can pretend like look at the prices. Tatum had a game experience and I'll share with people because recruit right now a clear out of that of the that yeah."

" Of the that did very well you you decide how -- they would happen. In the genre and hating gay and -- to show oriented. Jim and the -- to the -- you know so while the -- and make it do next in my pocket. -- they can do someone walking around a syndicate the -- you know I don't hang around nick nick do you exercise this in the do McCain plans to appears to a number -- fast to -- government waste. -- A -- hands down -- but it. I start to cry and how's McCain there's no place like home there's no. And I'll look at him because sounding like -- whatever way to look at it he's he's trying to look I wanna go -- Okay."

" The first came out I was like how are making this stuff him. Yeah individually go warehouse on the outskirts of town. The team. Greek men manufacturing ladder. Then harvesting into a bucket."

" But it's okay now. But you know they."

" Because I would say. In this case the Italian accent we're. Remote. And bothered. That's Ellen Megan that judges saying you know next time you that stuff just Jefferson. Small course appears that closes. What's that garlic and lemon juice. That could be race."

" I don't know about you but I'm a huge hockey fan and so -- my friend Allison we're gonna start a blog about the Stanley Cup so we went to godaddy.com. And tried to register. Two girls one cup dot com. It was taken. But if you wanna keep your personal information away from spammers hackers and your crazy extreme eight. There's private domain registration from godaddy.com and protects your privacy by keeping your address phone number and more out of the public database. Also be sure to check out revision3.com. Slash godaddy for all the -- well godaddy deals and cuts and please. Please do not two girls one cup dot com it's not about hockey."

" Do you guys that I remember -- here in kindergarten. And they give us those markers that -- like -- I -- on in the day and adjourned and I thought to myself you know what a good idea let's encourage young children to sniff -- case. Jesus Christ on a bicycle. Take care. So much about other -- now do they forgot didn't make -- work you know -- your dry inside it's slowly fades out but it still smells like lemons. And then -- we move on to first grade. Where they replaced America's it's -- like fruits. To those funds that it is not among them like five seconds. You can see fruits and I'm giant. -- people in purple treason might not -- saying created but I thought that."

" Here for so we don't get -- over here we have no health care -- health care -- so we're hearing healthcare is the worst you could be on fire and walking to a hospital it will not help you. They I'm sorry sir you're on fire that's a pre existing condition we can't do anything or you gonna but. We're all about medication over here it's like we give you an anti depressant to make you feel better about being on fire that I -- up. But aside it back is a burning sensation which you'll be you know so it's almost like you're on fire. And how -- happens and everybody feel that I did with that joke. Took it in -- Buchan circle then took it in the circle. You talk about other things. But don't you hate it when you go to the basement of your -- house do investigators down with your candelabra."

" Not to weed out there isn't. Let's that we economic -- You're gathering -- down here. Now don't. Shut your cell. Phone. While it's just the black how to keep the days in my bonnet house. Periodically forget about it."

" Commencement team needs your face is that's."

" Current job but like yeah I don't --"

" And -- of the shenanigans too many movies and."

" Movie so really what you think always. Yeah -- it is very Bain Capital report. Garnett saw all the -- happened just want."

" Plus ditto and isn't resume peace and I think planned separate Barney."

" He had. Taking out and -- yeah that likes that comes flat."

" Rob you take and that is -- getting getting this tightening your browser and it shows -- I don't know what the Internet is how all -- is now."

" Okay."

" I don't smoke so I'll put out organ corporate America it would as the -- that's smokers basically you just get up to smoke whenever they wanted. -- immediately gave me an extra thirty minutes of break every single today announced that that's ridiculous. Why can't my vice have a break you know -- sorry guys -- gotta go Jack golf all the back. Argues is vital squeeze one out every two hours. You do not on any air around me. That is about -- what you guys like standing on the building entrants like. Kind of really this extra trading is just ridiculous you know it's like. Next week when it really didn't just block hours -- pocket Anthony Michael Campbell all -- a wee bit well I guess not all right."

" You forget step behind on these old people like at the -- Their order and -- by the slice. Now what -- man in my daily guys like the biggest pot had ever man he's old -- like."

" Eight -- two slices Alabama. A slide this way like -- we're gonna make a plug in sandwich right here what -- you win."

" I -- what can pass up so I'll never make it what do you do about. Tonight's giant spoon full of data Stanley. It's your 87 you know potato salad days like -- and there."

" Really. Just what -- you know. He's like potatoes and many names."

" That may."

" I implore you didn't -- He is a barbecue pork ribs the other day and is also was so good. The thought occurred may have noticed that come out with a barbecue sauce flavored lubricants. That people in this country that game is okay."

" The truth the truth and truth."

" A lot of fun things to do for free out being go to protest. Yeah protests out here are fun. Other countries when they protest they can furnish it in and flip over cars so we'll probably. Not out here in -- what would send more troops."

" Handing my stilts."

" Of their parents -- had a weird and it stays alive really vain he should get a bad haircut and it obviously isn't pretty sweet."

" I got my haircut an all black barber shop for the last time hacker and I know it sounds extraordinarily racist unless you're black dude and you know I'm not normal client he's the only black barbershop. Every Geithner knew that when I want didn't literally every -- shop just like really. Yeah you don't want mimic him as a -- a little -- people coming -- to you later."

" You plug in that guns don't like people to get out."

" That's what should happen. Was wrong spot and neither side is he dating. Embraces. And -- it is awkward standoff we're both just like. Get a job. Terrible -- an anti hate crime. -- I got on the Obama raises it I have."

" Can pretend like look at the prices. Tatum had a game experience and I'll share with people because recruit right now a clear out of that of the that yeah."

" Of the that did very well you you decide how -- they would happen. In the genre and hating gay and -- to show oriented. Jim and the -- to the -- you know so while the -- and make it do next in my pocket. -- they can do someone walking around a syndicate the -- you know I don't hang around nick nick do you exercise this in the do McCain plans to appears to a number -- fast to -- government waste. -- A -- hands down -- but it. I start to cry and how's McCain there's no place like home there's no. And I'll look at him because sounding like -- whatever way to look at it he's he's trying to look I wanna go -- Okay."

" The first came out I was like how are making this stuff him. Yeah individually go warehouse on the outskirts of town. The team. Greek men manufacturing ladder. Then harvesting into a bucket."

" But it's okay now. But you know they."

" Because I would say. In this case the Italian accent we're. Remote. And bothered. That's Ellen Megan that judges saying you know next time you that stuff just Jefferson. Small course appears that closes. What's that garlic and lemon juice. That could be race."

" I don't know about you but I'm a huge hockey fan and so -- my friend Allison we're gonna start a blog about the Stanley Cup so we went to godaddy.com. And tried to register. Two girls one cup dot com. It was taken. But if you wanna keep your personal information away from spammers hackers and your crazy extreme eight. There's private domain registration from godaddy.com and protects your privacy by keeping your address phone number and more out of the public database. Also be sure to check out revision3.com. Slash godaddy for all the -- well godaddy deals and cuts and please. Please do not two girls one cup dot com it's not about hockey."

" Do you guys that I remember -- here in kindergarten. And they give us those markers that -- like -- I -- on in the day and adjourned and I thought to myself you know what a good idea let's encourage young children to sniff -- case. Jesus Christ on a bicycle. Take care. So much about other -- now do they forgot didn't make -- work you know -- your dry inside it's slowly fades out but it still smells like lemons. And then -- we move on to first grade. Where they replaced America's it's -- like fruits. To those funds that it is not among them like five seconds. You can see fruits and I'm giant. -- people in purple treason might not -- saying created but I thought that."

" Here for so we don't get -- over here we have no health care -- health care -- so we're hearing healthcare is the worst you could be on fire and walking to a hospital it will not help you. They I'm sorry sir you're on fire that's a pre existing condition we can't do anything or you gonna but. We're all about medication over here it's like we give you an anti depressant to make you feel better about being on fire that I -- up. But aside it back is a burning sensation which you'll be you know so it's almost like you're on fire. And how -- happens and everybody feel that I did with that joke. Took it in -- Buchan circle then took it in the circle. You talk about other things. But don't you hate it when you go to the basement of your -- house do investigators down with your candelabra."

" Not to weed out there isn't. Let's that we economic -- You're gathering -- down here. Now don't. Shut your cell. Phone. While it's just the black how to keep the days in my bonnet house. Periodically forget about it."

" Commencement team needs your face is that's."

" Current job but like yeah I don't --"

" And -- of the shenanigans too many movies and."

" Movie so really what you think always. Yeah -- it is very Bain Capital report. Garnett saw all the -- happened just want."

" Plus ditto and isn't resume peace and I think planned separate Barney."

" He had. Taking out and -- yeah that likes that comes flat."

" Rob you take and that is -- getting getting this tightening your browser and it shows -- I don't know what the Internet is how all -- is now."

" Okay."

" I don't smoke so I'll put out organ corporate America it would as the -- that's smokers basically you just get up to smoke whenever they wanted. -- immediately gave me an extra thirty minutes of break every single today announced that that's ridiculous. Why can't my vice have a break you know -- sorry guys -- gotta go Jack golf all the back. Argues is vital squeeze one out every two hours. You do not on any air around me. That is about -- what you guys like standing on the building entrants like. Kind of really this extra trading is just ridiculous you know it's like. Next week when it really didn't just block hours -- pocket Anthony Michael Campbell all -- a wee bit well I guess not all right."

" You forget step behind on these old people like at the -- Their order and -- by the slice. Now what -- man in my daily guys like the biggest pot had ever man he's old -- like."

" Eight -- two slices Alabama. A slide this way like -- we're gonna make a plug in sandwich right here what -- you win."

" I -- what can pass up so I'll never make it what do you do about. Tonight's giant spoon full of data Stanley. It's your 87 you know potato salad days like -- and there."

" Really. Just what -- you know. He's like potatoes and many names."

" That may."

" I implore you didn't -- He is a barbecue pork ribs the other day and is also was so good. The thought occurred may have noticed that come out with a barbecue sauce flavored lubricants. That people in this country that game is okay."

" The truth the truth and truth."

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Started discussion: September 28, 2009 @ 1:40am GMT

Episode 21 - Nudity, Health Care, Smoking, and Lady Parts [Discussion]

The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on racism, nudity, healthcare, and ghosts.

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