Craigslist, Flirting, Twitter, and Puberty
Sunday, October 25th, 2009 running time 09:39
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on cars, advice, and daytime TV.
Segments
Seven nights a week, RooftopComedy.com records live stand-up comedy all around the world and brings you the best of it. These are our favorite jokes about cars, advice, daytime TV, and a bunch of other hilarious, disgusting, true stuff. I'm sure you have some hilarious jokes about that stuff too, but trust me, this is better. For more jokes that are better than yours, head over to RooftopComedy.com.
My Grandpa's Car Accident
I fought the Germans with my bare hands. Fighting this wall with my Buick should be a piece of cake.
Women Are Like Parking Spaces
They call me the "Incriminator." If you are flirting with me, you are immediately suspect.
Comedians: Mike Brody, Tommy Johnagin, Kevin Camia, Dustin Ybarra, Sammy Obeid, Gary Gulman, Caitlin Gill, Eric Krug, Brian Dunkleman, Bengt Washburn
Highlights
movie theater: 5:04good foods: 7:20
homeland security: 8:12
daytime tv: 2:49
Automatically Generated Transcript
May not be 100% accurate" I'll go to banks there is this really intrusive questions. Now and oh yeah. Doesn't go to -- what are you gonna do this weekend. -- he does sock full of pennies what do you think government ago. I'm gonna is still my -- Internet cry a lot I hope they can't see drills of the government."
" Ghraib prison -- they still drive. An accident recently. -- small accident as a fender Bender. As we'll call -- they hit eighty beauty salon."
" The related to me sometimes."
" Boston apple was you don't cars and mark. -- drive. And we did embrace."
" Videos and about what went numb. Just jammed into the ground whatever that. Everybody goes not just didn't think gas pedal and you like run ensued and building that program. -- and the negative excuses and -- would go all the old driver hello. And believe we'll be there when I started driving. Plus the work. -- come over all the time that he wanted to learn how to. You should -- be up. The war jacked off."
" He had the camera -- vegetarian -- there's other vegetarians -- attacking -- the advice. No one's ever been doing it along instances. When lady I know you don't just they can't you know that mushrooms at the same type of -- team. As animal protein. Who might not again here hopefully that. Harley stressed that -- you know that's like when my gay friends -- like any any. And mountains of mouth. -- Carolina bank PLC to them lessons that's cool."
" ever have to -- basic cable Amanda seven. And channels. It's horrible because I watched TV hearing that name and daytime TV no -- loser. -- every commercials like you need a job."
" Go to college. You have and credit. I know you have and -- but as far as I got great education like you could Graham four years of college in the two weeks. They have really get alcohol poisoning and can play -- and yeah figure out of forty is two weeks. The graduate."
" Everybody yeah. Yeah."
" Yeah. Well it's true. It can't web -- with long term cat godaddy hosting plans that they aren't. And match and -- With many. Retooling part -- support in no way you look -- me. Be sure to check out and -- contracts anything he counts with other Rockwell any deal. UT."
" You. Everybody."
" How has come to accept the fact -- her early shows interest in me there's something wrong whether. It's like the wizard lives it is she has no heart. Where she's missing a brain. Where she's from Kansas it sucks. Why is to yours and yours and mine."
" I watched -- take hit the other night I -- that was on demand so I. Demanded it. And it's -- one moment please sounds like I want it now. And try to get him on -- haven't seen it in. However long assert that the movie theater when it came out and a take what I forgot about the karate kid vehemence in ointment if about about this to. It sockets it was awful it was -- doesn't hold up at all it's just. I don't have any fun watching the pride they can't actually resented the -- it -- here is he just does some old guys chores for a few weeks. -- beat the culprit tie in the all valley. Karate tournament then it's. It just what kind of lesson is that."
" I saw. An add on Craig's list. And the and a red. Bullet team. An exception only any fruit shoot telling police. Great lists nanny. Professional service. Looking for a job this morning -- ratings list. That only happens after a field search through a window was band width handy in game. Parents that's not what Craig's list this sport. Craig is the home of the -- new roommate. -- The anonymous new friend who knows how to be discreet."
" I don't like movie theaters or video rental places. Because I don't think that I should be held responsible for dress codes that are clearly posted. Site is Netflix Netflix has over a 100000 titles and shipping centers across the country -- you get most titles within one business day. Go to www. Netflix.com. Slash RO FL for your no risk two week free trial membership. And you don't have to wear pants."
" worried about money though when it comes like pension pacers with food I hate that when I go grocery shopping now because like all the really good foods are really expensive and stuff even cereals elect really expensive. Sounds like four dollars a box like. Life cereal -- in my favorites now might buy in the store bought generic brands I hate those things. And you read the generic granola -- sucks skull realize serial connection on -- box students taxes. Change slogan. Seven year old girlfriend's in the background known animal versus blue."
" Everything's different -- everybody's. --"
" Analysts and perhaps. It's got work to -- and -- coincidence. I hear -- oh log onto an international aids cases where we are all we're doing every minute. Okay sure Homeland Security has nothing to do with a yeah Nadal showed up and nobody here. Eat your green eagle at -- and dog."
" Asked how it works."
" Bloodshed. To sweethearts."
" I don't know about women -- guys. Puberty is a personal Armageddon is not. Is it just fish and ghost is horrible remember before I also don't want us -- can get baseball cards and and one more -- sort of one night you go to bad you wake up second hole in your hand. Puppy in your hands and used his -- it. Is it good look at her governor you governor governor governor. If it hadn't heard all not look at her she's in song. Second cousin."
" And the truth the truth and truth."
" I'll go to banks there is this really intrusive questions. Now and oh yeah. Doesn't go to -- what are you gonna do this weekend. -- he does sock full of pennies what do you think government ago. I'm gonna is still my -- Internet cry a lot I hope they can't see drills of the government."
" Ghraib prison -- they still drive. An accident recently. -- small accident as a fender Bender. As we'll call -- they hit eighty beauty salon."
" The related to me sometimes."
" Boston apple was you don't cars and mark. -- drive. And we did embrace."
" Videos and about what went numb. Just jammed into the ground whatever that. Everybody goes not just didn't think gas pedal and you like run ensued and building that program. -- and the negative excuses and -- would go all the old driver hello. And believe we'll be there when I started driving. Plus the work. -- come over all the time that he wanted to learn how to. You should -- be up. The war jacked off."
" He had the camera -- vegetarian -- there's other vegetarians -- attacking -- the advice. No one's ever been doing it along instances. When lady I know you don't just they can't you know that mushrooms at the same type of -- team. As animal protein. Who might not again here hopefully that. Harley stressed that -- you know that's like when my gay friends -- like any any. And mountains of mouth. -- Carolina bank PLC to them lessons that's cool."
" ever have to -- basic cable Amanda seven. And channels. It's horrible because I watched TV hearing that name and daytime TV no -- loser. -- every commercials like you need a job."
" Go to college. You have and credit. I know you have and -- but as far as I got great education like you could Graham four years of college in the two weeks. They have really get alcohol poisoning and can play -- and yeah figure out of forty is two weeks. The graduate."
" Everybody yeah. Yeah."
" Yeah. Well it's true. It can't web -- with long term cat godaddy hosting plans that they aren't. And match and -- With many. Retooling part -- support in no way you look -- me. Be sure to check out and -- contracts anything he counts with other Rockwell any deal. UT."
" You. Everybody."
" How has come to accept the fact -- her early shows interest in me there's something wrong whether. It's like the wizard lives it is she has no heart. Where she's missing a brain. Where she's from Kansas it sucks. Why is to yours and yours and mine."
" I watched -- take hit the other night I -- that was on demand so I. Demanded it. And it's -- one moment please sounds like I want it now. And try to get him on -- haven't seen it in. However long assert that the movie theater when it came out and a take what I forgot about the karate kid vehemence in ointment if about about this to. It sockets it was awful it was -- doesn't hold up at all it's just. I don't have any fun watching the pride they can't actually resented the -- it -- here is he just does some old guys chores for a few weeks. -- beat the culprit tie in the all valley. Karate tournament then it's. It just what kind of lesson is that."
" I saw. An add on Craig's list. And the and a red. Bullet team. An exception only any fruit shoot telling police. Great lists nanny. Professional service. Looking for a job this morning -- ratings list. That only happens after a field search through a window was band width handy in game. Parents that's not what Craig's list this sport. Craig is the home of the -- new roommate. -- The anonymous new friend who knows how to be discreet."
" I don't like movie theaters or video rental places. Because I don't think that I should be held responsible for dress codes that are clearly posted. Site is Netflix Netflix has over a 100000 titles and shipping centers across the country -- you get most titles within one business day. Go to www. Netflix.com. Slash RO FL for your no risk two week free trial membership. And you don't have to wear pants."
" worried about money though when it comes like pension pacers with food I hate that when I go grocery shopping now because like all the really good foods are really expensive and stuff even cereals elect really expensive. Sounds like four dollars a box like. Life cereal -- in my favorites now might buy in the store bought generic brands I hate those things. And you read the generic granola -- sucks skull realize serial connection on -- box students taxes. Change slogan. Seven year old girlfriend's in the background known animal versus blue."
" Everything's different -- everybody's. --"
" Analysts and perhaps. It's got work to -- and -- coincidence. I hear -- oh log onto an international aids cases where we are all we're doing every minute. Okay sure Homeland Security has nothing to do with a yeah Nadal showed up and nobody here. Eat your green eagle at -- and dog."
" Asked how it works."
" Bloodshed. To sweethearts."
" I don't know about women -- guys. Puberty is a personal Armageddon is not. Is it just fish and ghost is horrible remember before I also don't want us -- can get baseball cards and and one more -- sort of one night you go to bad you wake up second hole in your hand. Puppy in your hands and used his -- it. Is it good look at her governor you governor governor governor. If it hadn't heard all not look at her she's in song. Second cousin."
" And the truth the truth and truth."
mari1ee
Started discussion: October 26, 2009 @ 9:37am GMT
Episode 25: Craigslist, Flirting, Twitter, and Puberty [Discussion]
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on cars, advice, and daytime TV.
Watch or download this episode now!
Nobody has commented on this episode yet. Be the first!













