Boobs, Girlfriends and Condoms
Sunday, June 14th, 2009 running time 12:02
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on boobs, girlfriends, ringtones, spiders, and being really bad in bed.
Seven nights a week, RooftopComedy.com records live stand-up comedy all around the world and brings you the best of it. These are our favorite jokes about boobs, girlfriends, ringtones, spiders, being really bad in bed, and a bunch of other hilarious, disgusting, true stuff. I'm sure you have some hilarious jokes about that stuff too, but trust me, this is better. For more jokes that are better than yours, head over to RooftopComedy.com.
Comedians
Eddie Gossling, Matt Fugate, Tommy Ryman, John Evans, Pete Lee, Mike Lukas, John Ramsey, Tim Harmston, Pat Dixon, Dave Waite
Highlights
kanye west
(
5:38, 5:38
)
high school graduation
(
1:46, 1:46
)
wow hunter
(
6:54, 6:54
)
netflix
(
8:16, 8:36, 8:38, 8:45, 8:52, 8:16, 8:36, 8:38, 8:45, 8:52
)
kanye west
(
5:38, 5:38
)
high school graduation
(
1:46, 1:46
)
wow hunter
(
6:54, 6:54
)
netflix
(
8:16, 8:36, 8:38, 8:45, 8:52, 8:16, 8:36, 8:38, 8:45, 8:52
)
Automatically Generated Transcript(may not be 100% accurate) ( more )
" my favorite restaurant the other day you guessed it hooters and I. With the -- load another quarter minds up bright flash. That covers two teenage kids they're taking a picture of a waitress then another round. Beyond. -- Amateurs that are -- we've got to turn off that land. -- But imam business cards that he matches and that's yeah. Super street."
" We'll see nothing I thought machine from my house in Firefox machine the second time for my wife and baby when I want to be alone."
" Cost a lot of money to renovate fog machine ninety bucks problems solved. Now it looks bigger. I don't know why but totally by Atlanta and coming up the stairs."
" And saying. -- the back. Can match. -- It's not so. --"
" Fellow buddy let me start off what most. Frightening things they could ever hurt. There are parents dedicating their teenage daughter's high school graduation gift breast implants. Which -- That's just mom and dads and their daughter down don't know. We've -- in your report card in hand. It's stripper for you know I. Yeah -- name of the rainbow that's the kind of thing we're talking about."
" I had the worst thing here today. I. I'm just gonna tell you do it this what you I hurt. I. I heard the average person swallows seven fighters a beer. -- Final list of things I don't like number one. Swallowing spiders without knowing it. So I went up today I just got to go through it. That was weighing on me. Sundown until April 2013. -- long day. Apparently -- swallows spiders and nicely so I'm done with that. The sticking out like a third in my day as it was half when I'm -- But that's just an average seven that's just an average sound more some less. I mean some people go their whole lucky lies about stalling a single spider and that -- mean there's a guy in the jungles somewhere where it cannot be like I. I am myself loaded."
" I'm really bad and bad. Okay."
" Audio there's a light blue shocker now. Yeah the Stanley and more like a pony and my girlfriends Obama boredom that some viewers are iPod. It works surrounding towns and I think I'm doing good in my -- I know why the tiger. And anybody gone."
" The non happened -- is kind of like being an alarm growing contest -- hear them here in the union and amusing. There is let. Amazon -- bad you know them later eagle and what I. Link but if your guy your quick combat don't hang that on your own hard numbers up on her -- it is. Microwave its like being."
" Done."
" and he has what you need. Dot com names as low as a dollar 99 plus world class hosting. Fast and easy web site builders and much more also be sure to check out revision3.com. Forward slash GoDaddy. For all of brothel godaddy deals and knows. --"
" So cards are cool I like cellphones I have one. And I can't you can't -- actual songs on yourself bombing Kanye West -- the beastie -- homes the latest on. I had its new phone just came is on it's really good you know I guess knowing you can sing on the here for its like ago it's like. And I can renew the leader is so fast in the hands. -- to stand still but I did. The -- I bring it. Are you just this morning who. You got the joke in everything."
" And I as soon as we move did we stop being nice to each other which is funny like what we were dating we were all nice and we moved in and that we started saying exactly what we want to say that we don't like. But really the house wants to get dressed up I think that's obvious. Upper right. Well I once we -- did like this girl stop trying like you -- the -- got her hair and a pony -- he'll make up the hooded sweatshirt on and said. And -- night wow hunter you're gonna go out dress like that. The you know let -- I can't look beautiful for you every day. Michael if you put a couple of days and road again. You don't have to -- cal Ripken junior -- again. But it is degree together. -- have to go to the Hall of Fame that make the team. And we're here way out. Here. And really hit him. Kyra. Talk -- that alcohol if we get ripped. Give a pass out drunk and then leave something on all night is that there have Zeus again. The gas like a condom. You have no -- the dad just fills up like a water balloon and it carries to -- titillated bad and of the ten minutes tuna. Not tied to soften its news. To do this every night I hate yeah. Does my new way to sleep place."
" I'm glad that Netflix doesn't wasn't around when they had. VHS because I think it would have added to the shipping costs. And public would it take longer can view it had to go to the post office. We'll wrap it up in the bubble wrap and now you can just put in the mailbox nefarious take it to the net Netflix and back. With Netflix you can rent over a 100000 titles online including lots of Blu-ray titles with free shipping both -- your home. The Netflix plans start from 499 and as a new member you can get in no risk two week free trial membership. Check it out at netflix.com. Slash -- theories -- from an elaborate. Dance -- to the home."
" Yesterday got together before before -- got married -- my wife and I did you have people busted are also -- like -- commitment living together on the (%expletive). When you put together its commitment man you got to work on all your problems we got to move out all your stuff. Got a lot of stuff that's commitment. The hassle to get out of their meta like when -- day -- one phone call away from freedom you know yeah Utah and put. Him. -- Delivered together manage your stock you get big by a."
" Like this isn't my -- individually in my neck and some boxes and all by himself when it gets them gives him. Mail PO box. We distributions -- she's from the book to help us. Forwarding address -- I don't even know what the bucket is well get it. To -- you -- happen there are very good U haul for the god himself about what do you mind. -- look."
" it's like you know. That -- our commitments to cross stuff yet. The on the fourth floor and isn't afraid of it almost off. I'm not saying shouldn't let together I think it's a great idea -- a careful man first floor wicker furniture that's on the thing. -- workout for the panel on the bug me now bug you have to move."
" There's -- I love animals sometimes animals grew up then it's inconvenient to human beings okay like those. It's those plastic rings that whole six packs of beer together you're supposed to cut those be free if wrong not because one time. But one Byrd hung himself and and it's five kids you know it's like. Is what they chopped us up a little pieces but then here all night worrying that are really smart at all is gonna figure out how to put it all back together you know. And another thing ego and your garage and he got an old who lived there his -- the cut doesn't have because he's overweight bears. Has been getting stuck in an event that don't open ended up on YouTube videos and backlogs my inbox right."
" Yeah. --"
" my favorite restaurant the other day you guessed it hooters and I. With the -- load another quarter minds up bright flash. That covers two teenage kids they're taking a picture of a waitress then another round. Beyond. -- Amateurs that are -- we've got to turn off that land. -- But imam business cards that he matches and that's yeah. Super street."
" We'll see nothing I thought machine from my house in Firefox machine the second time for my wife and baby when I want to be alone."
" Cost a lot of money to renovate fog machine ninety bucks problems solved. Now it looks bigger. I don't know why but totally by Atlanta and coming up the stairs."
" And saying. -- the back. Can match. -- It's not so. --"
" Fellow buddy let me start off what most. Frightening things they could ever hurt. There are parents dedicating their teenage daughter's high school graduation gift breast implants. Which -- That's just mom and dads and their daughter down don't know. We've -- in your report card in hand. It's stripper for you know I. Yeah -- name of the rainbow that's the kind of thing we're talking about."
" I had the worst thing here today. I. I'm just gonna tell you do it this what you I hurt. I. I heard the average person swallows seven fighters a beer. -- Final list of things I don't like number one. Swallowing spiders without knowing it. So I went up today I just got to go through it. That was weighing on me. Sundown until April 2013. -- long day. Apparently -- swallows spiders and nicely so I'm done with that. The sticking out like a third in my day as it was half when I'm -- But that's just an average seven that's just an average sound more some less. I mean some people go their whole lucky lies about stalling a single spider and that -- mean there's a guy in the jungles somewhere where it cannot be like I. I am myself loaded."
" I'm really bad and bad. Okay."
" Audio there's a light blue shocker now. Yeah the Stanley and more like a pony and my girlfriends Obama boredom that some viewers are iPod. It works surrounding towns and I think I'm doing good in my -- I know why the tiger. And anybody gone."
" The non happened -- is kind of like being an alarm growing contest -- hear them here in the union and amusing. There is let. Amazon -- bad you know them later eagle and what I. Link but if your guy your quick combat don't hang that on your own hard numbers up on her -- it is. Microwave its like being."
" Done."
" and he has what you need. Dot com names as low as a dollar 99 plus world class hosting. Fast and easy web site builders and much more also be sure to check out revision3.com. Forward slash GoDaddy. For all of brothel godaddy deals and knows. --"
" So cards are cool I like cellphones I have one. And I can't you can't -- actual songs on yourself bombing Kanye West -- the beastie -- homes the latest on. I had its new phone just came is on it's really good you know I guess knowing you can sing on the here for its like ago it's like. And I can renew the leader is so fast in the hands. -- to stand still but I did. The -- I bring it. Are you just this morning who. You got the joke in everything."
" And I as soon as we move did we stop being nice to each other which is funny like what we were dating we were all nice and we moved in and that we started saying exactly what we want to say that we don't like. But really the house wants to get dressed up I think that's obvious. Upper right. Well I once we -- did like this girl stop trying like you -- the -- got her hair and a pony -- he'll make up the hooded sweatshirt on and said. And -- night wow hunter you're gonna go out dress like that. The you know let -- I can't look beautiful for you every day. Michael if you put a couple of days and road again. You don't have to -- cal Ripken junior -- again. But it is degree together. -- have to go to the Hall of Fame that make the team. And we're here way out. Here. And really hit him. Kyra. Talk -- that alcohol if we get ripped. Give a pass out drunk and then leave something on all night is that there have Zeus again. The gas like a condom. You have no -- the dad just fills up like a water balloon and it carries to -- titillated bad and of the ten minutes tuna. Not tied to soften its news. To do this every night I hate yeah. Does my new way to sleep place."
" I'm glad that Netflix doesn't wasn't around when they had. VHS because I think it would have added to the shipping costs. And public would it take longer can view it had to go to the post office. We'll wrap it up in the bubble wrap and now you can just put in the mailbox nefarious take it to the net Netflix and back. With Netflix you can rent over a 100000 titles online including lots of Blu-ray titles with free shipping both -- your home. The Netflix plans start from 499 and as a new member you can get in no risk two week free trial membership. Check it out at netflix.com. Slash -- theories -- from an elaborate. Dance -- to the home."
" Yesterday got together before before -- got married -- my wife and I did you have people busted are also -- like -- commitment living together on the (%expletive). When you put together its commitment man you got to work on all your problems we got to move out all your stuff. Got a lot of stuff that's commitment. The hassle to get out of their meta like when -- day -- one phone call away from freedom you know yeah Utah and put. Him. -- Delivered together manage your stock you get big by a."
" Like this isn't my -- individually in my neck and some boxes and all by himself when it gets them gives him. Mail PO box. We distributions -- she's from the book to help us. Forwarding address -- I don't even know what the bucket is well get it. To -- you -- happen there are very good U haul for the god himself about what do you mind. -- look."
" it's like you know. That -- our commitments to cross stuff yet. The on the fourth floor and isn't afraid of it almost off. I'm not saying shouldn't let together I think it's a great idea -- a careful man first floor wicker furniture that's on the thing. -- workout for the panel on the bug me now bug you have to move."
" There's -- I love animals sometimes animals grew up then it's inconvenient to human beings okay like those. It's those plastic rings that whole six packs of beer together you're supposed to cut those be free if wrong not because one time. But one Byrd hung himself and and it's five kids you know it's like. Is what they chopped us up a little pieces but then here all night worrying that are really smart at all is gonna figure out how to put it all back together you know. And another thing ego and your garage and he got an old who lived there his -- the cut doesn't have because he's overweight bears. Has been getting stuck in an event that don't open ended up on YouTube videos and backlogs my inbox right."
" Yeah. --"
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mari1ee
Started discussion: June 15, 2009 @ 9:35am GMT
Episode 6: Boobs, Girlfriends and Condoms [Discussion]
The funniest stand-up comics from across the country take on boobs, girlfriends, ringtones, spiders, and being really bad in bed.
Watch or download this episode now!
MinutNudler
5 months ago
Ringtone guy was awesome xD














