A Day in the Eternal Life of Alex Chiu
Hey Web Drifters. Martin Sargent here. My skin is very dry. I look like a Reptoid. That's because all last week, I was web drifting in the deserts of Arizona. And Jesus and Baby Jesus, what an adventure it was.
We met guys who think the earth is hollow and plan on moving down there by entering a hole in the North Pole, and an old man who doesn't eat or drink yet can lift 900 pounds, and some mystics who took me to a powerful vortex in Sedona with promises that it would heal my horrific injuries. We also went hunting extra-terrestrials and hung out with a real life superhero.
And because of last week's jam-packed web drifting schedule, we've decided to re-release the episode that started it all: A Day in the Eternal Life of Alex Chiu.
Those of you who have watched Infected have gotten to know Alex Chiu. He was on that dearly departed show all the time. You learned about all of his wondrous inventions, from The Machine That Heals The Handicaps and The GorgeousPil to Super Chi Flush and Spell Casting. But the invention that started it all was the Immortality Device: two cheaply made plastic rings with magnets on them that promise to give their wearer eternal life.
This is, in my mind, our greatest episode ever. But maybe that's just because Alex Chiu is my favorite living American. And after you watch this lost episode of Web Drifter, I can pretty much guarantee you'll hold him in as high esteem as I do. Not that I'd want to live with him in eternity...
Highlights
Einstein
(
1:04, 1:04
)
real estate
(
5:20, 5:20
)
Frankenstein
(
3:53, 3:53
)
human body
(
2:03, 2:03
)
Einstein
(
1:04, 1:04
)
real estate
(
5:20, 5:20
)
Frankenstein
(
3:53, 3:53
)
human body
(
2:03, 2:03
)
Automatically Generated Transcript(may not be 100% accurate) ( more )
" to build a website about aliens or your time machine for me to drift. Use the promo code drifter walking when registering your domain name and godaddy.com. Received 10% off your order. Okay that season in the underground bunker we're hiding from the -- people. Thanks godaddy.com."
" If I'm going to devote my life to going behind billions of the most intriguing. Outrageous. That in many cases terrifying web sites I'm going to need to be very long time. Perhaps forever. That's why one of my first -- is Alex cute dot com. The site of a man who claims to be a greater adventures that Einstein. As -- or Edison. Abandon claims to have invented -- there will be. We're given its love deeply who was with the nervous anticipation. And I climbed the stairs to meet this Internet giant. -- males who feel queasy because this house flew. --"
" Alex thank you so much for inviting me home. -- had yet been a fan of yours maybe your web page for many many years. Forgive me if I'm a little nervous. It kind of an imposing figure. Supposedly eureka moment that moment when you said my god these things work I am going to live forever."
" If you like post it on my website. Talking about salsa all mangled statement when you say okay I'll magnets yeah I think all the cells are magnets in the these big become instantly stick together. If the body test that the human body that's -- flowing through -- the whole body Alex what kind of scientific background via. I don't have any calls the shots. Alex if I wear these rings that give me eternal life. And I go outside -- probable and I get hit by a bus like -- of course. Which showed that. Would have liked it cancer. It's probably not. Why do you want to live forever."
" Because I'm afraid of death I don't want to. What do you think is on the inside. All I don't know what's on the other side but it's it's it doesn't make any difference I mean. Eight based on Christian Bible states that if you die you're gonna go to heaven -- whoever. What ever sleep wherever. So what's the difference is like movies from here to services -- absolutely you know just went rich and and I saw the same -- give -- I think myself that I. And I don't they just -- if ever you know I like here. Like earth Flesch -- yeah nobody. Well they might have been index or form of -- there -- yeah past attempts. None of them when you spend a lot of times the club's archives."
" And likewise although well. Oh. They're. Click the okay. I don't like this -- different updates. I don't know if she's I was literally like me ghostly. Figures that with such a loser I mean you said yourself that you're the greatest and and that -- and history of the world you say that this is the greatest invention of all -- you still stand by that time. I put it doesn't help -- about speaking your Frankenstein because here you know you think you can make it look whether. -- I personally would live and any one of these mausoleum of lightly than it should add that -- yeah -- hope the cold it gets them sleepers -- out there and corps' elite the paper please. Live -- at the karaoke body yeah."
" Yeah they have much talent you guys really loving god."
" And that's an end. -- can't name literally watching this. I mean plugin that's been expecting to lettuce and machine -- and and yeah. We don't have the probability that there is aimed iTunes. An end to abandon my position I'm in -- and resentment."
" Alex cute. Is he nuts yes it's not just filling up really divide over three million dollars worth of real estate San Francisco. Alex will be she uses them it probably. Right -- personally I think moving through -- I love Alex. Because no matter how long I do live. Even my darkest moment."
" Directors if you like this you know you'll love geek entertainment TV star and I've read this --"
" Morning here are few good reasons why he never leave the house."
" I eat. Tonight as greatly. And let the I. Alex this is the shock Greg's run that I heard a rumor. Are heard that you're getting a few good reasons why you shouldn't play video games but man -- coming about the man cannon. The man cannon. Did you make this -- A few good reasons why -- go to conferences. How quickly they added thirty and ten. I wouldn't advise it. So have you hermit Alec Richard Stallman Tony -- state Stuart. When it hardly understand how thinking -- stack."
" A few reasons -- teach in -- line. Different 500 -- that."
" There is feet my friend why are you wearing that -- eagles' very."
" Because an evil you mean it is famous deep entertainment TV cannot be held liable for adverse reactions of -- don't what Joe did you scratching -- rashes swelling and they're dental appointments."
" Entertainment dot TV."
" to build a website about aliens or your time machine for me to drift. Use the promo code drifter walking when registering your domain name and godaddy.com. Received 10% off your order. Okay that season in the underground bunker we're hiding from the -- people. Thanks godaddy.com."
" If I'm going to devote my life to going behind billions of the most intriguing. Outrageous. That in many cases terrifying web sites I'm going to need to be very long time. Perhaps forever. That's why one of my first -- is Alex cute dot com. The site of a man who claims to be a greater adventures that Einstein. As -- or Edison. Abandon claims to have invented -- there will be. We're given its love deeply who was with the nervous anticipation. And I climbed the stairs to meet this Internet giant. -- males who feel queasy because this house flew. --"
" Alex thank you so much for inviting me home. -- had yet been a fan of yours maybe your web page for many many years. Forgive me if I'm a little nervous. It kind of an imposing figure. Supposedly eureka moment that moment when you said my god these things work I am going to live forever."
" If you like post it on my website. Talking about salsa all mangled statement when you say okay I'll magnets yeah I think all the cells are magnets in the these big become instantly stick together. If the body test that the human body that's -- flowing through -- the whole body Alex what kind of scientific background via. I don't have any calls the shots. Alex if I wear these rings that give me eternal life. And I go outside -- probable and I get hit by a bus like -- of course. Which showed that. Would have liked it cancer. It's probably not. Why do you want to live forever."
" Because I'm afraid of death I don't want to. What do you think is on the inside. All I don't know what's on the other side but it's it's it doesn't make any difference I mean. Eight based on Christian Bible states that if you die you're gonna go to heaven -- whoever. What ever sleep wherever. So what's the difference is like movies from here to services -- absolutely you know just went rich and and I saw the same -- give -- I think myself that I. And I don't they just -- if ever you know I like here. Like earth Flesch -- yeah nobody. Well they might have been index or form of -- there -- yeah past attempts. None of them when you spend a lot of times the club's archives."
" And likewise although well. Oh. They're. Click the okay. I don't like this -- different updates. I don't know if she's I was literally like me ghostly. Figures that with such a loser I mean you said yourself that you're the greatest and and that -- and history of the world you say that this is the greatest invention of all -- you still stand by that time. I put it doesn't help -- about speaking your Frankenstein because here you know you think you can make it look whether. -- I personally would live and any one of these mausoleum of lightly than it should add that -- yeah -- hope the cold it gets them sleepers -- out there and corps' elite the paper please. Live -- at the karaoke body yeah."
" Yeah they have much talent you guys really loving god."
" And that's an end. -- can't name literally watching this. I mean plugin that's been expecting to lettuce and machine -- and and yeah. We don't have the probability that there is aimed iTunes. An end to abandon my position I'm in -- and resentment."
" Alex cute. Is he nuts yes it's not just filling up really divide over three million dollars worth of real estate San Francisco. Alex will be she uses them it probably. Right -- personally I think moving through -- I love Alex. Because no matter how long I do live. Even my darkest moment."
" Directors if you like this you know you'll love geek entertainment TV star and I've read this --"
" Morning here are few good reasons why he never leave the house."
" I eat. Tonight as greatly. And let the I. Alex this is the shock Greg's run that I heard a rumor. Are heard that you're getting a few good reasons why you shouldn't play video games but man -- coming about the man cannon. The man cannon. Did you make this -- A few good reasons why -- go to conferences. How quickly they added thirty and ten. I wouldn't advise it. So have you hermit Alec Richard Stallman Tony -- state Stuart. When it hardly understand how thinking -- stack."
" A few reasons -- teach in -- line. Different 500 -- that."
" There is feet my friend why are you wearing that -- eagles' very."
" Because an evil you mean it is famous deep entertainment TV cannot be held liable for adverse reactions of -- don't what Joe did you scratching -- rashes swelling and they're dental appointments."
" Entertainment dot TV."
